Stuck between a rock and a hard place...

[wobblyknicks]

Hate coming on here to moan but I will anyway...

I really want to go back to work p/t because I enjoy working (as much as you can enjoy it!!), I want a reason to get out of the house more, I would be financially much better off and could afford to move out of my parents.

BUT all the childcare stuff is basically doing my head in!! I get nervous whenever I leave dd, like to go shopping for an hour, and really miss her. I think if I left her with someone I knew I could trust, that I could get over that though. But deciding on childcare is a nightmare at the moment, and I have even started looking for a specific place yet so that might be another huge hassle.

I've more or less decided that I don't want my parents to register as childminders and look after dd, for many reasons. But they've basically set their hearts on it and I don't know when or how to tell them that its not what I want. And then I'm left with choosing between a childminder or a nursery. Most of the childminders round here don't get much praise so it seems a better option to go for a nursery. But the mothering paranoia has truly settled now and it keeps going round in my mind that no-one will give her the care and attention I do and that it won't be good enough.

It doesn't really seem worth going to work sometimes if there's going to be this many problems - any advice?

I think once you've spoken to them ,the rest of your decisions will come easily,only worry about one thing at a time or it all gets v. overwhelming.

sorry WN, tone doesn't come across well in text, not intended as scolding. Your original questions does ask about deciding between nursery/CM.
Do your parents want to mind DD so that they can have DD or so that they can give up work?
Try the "you've already raised your family, it wouldn't be fair" line (that's what i used). Or tell them that the nursery is going to teach with some new method that your parents don't know. Or you'd like DD to start socialising with other children.
Telling them is the hard thing - once it's all settled things will go back to normal.

boudicca - thanks, will try and concentrate on one at a time!!

eefs - know what you mean, its very hard to explain stuff on here at times. I agree though, once things are straight with my parents it will be a lot simpler.

Of course you will always get some negative stories about nurseries, CMs and indeed GPs looking after kids.
But for the most part the professionals do an excellent job. The children do get masses of attention and lots of varied activities which they might well not get at home or with GPs, and they also start to get a bit of structure in their day which can be valuable later on.
I also think that social interaction starts to become important at about your dd's age. Children don't actually make friends or play together yet at that age but they do love to watch each other and learn from each other and this forms the basis for them starting to interact a bit later.

TBH the llonger you leave it the harder you will probably ifnd it at first to leave her with someone else. It's important for you to do something for yourself as well as for her, and not just financially. You've dedicated a year of your life exclusively to her which is brilliant and it sounds like it is now time to start to get your own independent life back on track too.

And don't worry if you don't like the first nursery or CM you see. Some are better than others and you will find a good one.

Thanks sponge - I think you're probably right that I'm making it worse by hesistating, not better. And I wouldn't mind getting a bit of my own life back again, have come on leaps and bounds since leaving UH but am still essentially dd's mum rather than my own person.

Right, just have to go through the threads about how to choose a nursery and go round looking!!!

wobblyknicks, please contact me. I've tried to email, but haven't gotten a response, so I think maybe there is something wrong with your email. It's regarding the car seat. thanks.

sofia - have emailed you through cat - had a bad virus on the pc a while back and traced it to hotmail so I can't use that anymore, and also don't have any of my contacts from there so didn't know your addy.

Have started researching local nurseries now nad found the Ofsted reports - how much can you rely on them?