Employer has started to lay a guilt trip on me as I'm off with hyperemesis - advice needed

[ejt1764]

I've been signed off by GP for past 7 weeks as I'm suffering with hyperemesis, and am basically unable to move without puking much before midday - and am sick the rest of the day too.

I'm a teacher, and the deputy in charge of staffing phoned me when I was first off, and basically told me that it would be better all round if I got extended sick notes as after I was off for 10 days, an insurance policy kicks in, which pays for my cover. If I go back - even if only for an hour, then the 10 period has to start again. I did as requested, saw my GP, and have been given 2 sick notes, both of which have been for 4 weeks.

My current sick note runs out next Thursday - a couple of weeks back, the deputy in charge of staffing phoned and asked me if I was likely to be back at the end of this note. I told her I hoped so - but she told me that if I was to get another sick note, to ask for a minimum of 2 months, as that way, they can give the person covering my HoD role an allowance.

I really hoped to be going back to work next week - but I really don't think it's going to happen - I'm throwing up pretty much all morning, and sporadically through the afternoon. I'm also having really strong reactions to smells.

Anyway, this morning (at 9.10am), said deputy phoned again, to ask me how I was. I was feeling pretty dreadful, as this is prime puking time for me, but said I was ok to speak, but might have to run.

Anyway, she again asked me if I was intending to come back next week. I told her what I've just explained above, and said that, although I wanted to come back to work, it wasn't looking likely that I would be fit enough. She then went on to lay it on thick that the supply teacher they had got in for me had had to go to be with her family due to a bereavement (fair enough), and that they were struggling without anybody to cover my classes. This went on for about 5 minutes, and I came off the phone feeling like I was being told to get my backside back to work.

Part of me wants to shout that my GP has signed me off (as requested by school!), and that she shouldn't try and second guess my GP.

I've been on and off in tears much of the day: I love my job, and I'm good at it, but at the moment, I'm just not fit enough to do it. I'm afraid that if I go back in next Thursday (as deputy seems to be pushing for), then I won't last the course.

Please help.

It never ceases to amaze me how bad preg women get treated by their employers! I had really bad sickness and made a mistake in work because of it...I was signed off the next day (before I realised the mistake) and came back two weeks later, still pretty delicate but wanted to try and catch up with workload etc. Within 30mins of being back, they dragged me into a two hour meeting and grilled me in manner of criminal about the mistake I made and then at the end of it (rather than at the beginning!) informed me it was going to HR for serious disciplinary action - despite an exemplary record.

This hung over me until I was 7months pregs and then went to the hearing. Was cleared of it all and told it should never have been brought to HR in first place...never got an apology from witch management so from then on, I just went sick whenever I felt rough and actually started ML before was due to leave cos couldn't handle the stress of it all....

Funnily enough, since I've been on ML, a massive and expensive cock up has occured with something that I did on a regular basis and never cocked up - I bet said management didn't get sent to HR over that!!!

Pruni

wish they'd been there when I had it, but helping women when they did was quite catrhartic in itself tbh.

How about talking to the head teacher? Suggest the Deputy needs some further training on HR and common employee issues like this one.

Good post from stripey! Lots of information. I was going to say basically the same sort of thing - that being pregnant, you are very well protected with regard to potential discrimination at work so I wouldn't worry too much. Do keep a note of any conversations like this in case you need to take it further, but at the end of the day, you have a genuine pregnancy related condition, so there is nothing they can legally do about it as far as I can see...