Promotion offer but not sure whether to take it

[ceeveebee]

I work for a large FTSE company. My boss (who is a director) has decided to leave and I've been offered a promotion - it's not quite his job but basically working as a joint department head with another person, reporting directly into the CEO. It would be a massive step up for me. But I have quite a few concerns and not sure what to do:

1. I have two young children and would probably have to go from 4 days to full time and probably get a nanny as wouldn't always be able to get back to collect from afterschool club. Also I'm not sure I am up to the job. I have lots of experience in what I do but this would be taking on more stuff outside of my comfort zone. And there would be a lot more meetings ( which I hate) and a lot more people responsibility which I do find stressful- I used to manage a large team before having a family but now I head up and very small specialised team

But then I think if not now, then when? I do want to progress but just not sure I want it now. I am just over 40 so feel like I should be ready to step up now? And if I was a man, none of the above reasons would even come into play, I'd just take it and be happy!

Just don't know what to do. Any advice welcome!

I'd take it because I think I'd kick myself if I didn't

You don't mention dcs dad? If he's around is he supportive ?

This struck a chord with me, "I .... feel like I should be ready to step up now?"

There's no shame in being happy where you are it took a near breakdown to teach me that the modern thing of constantly pushing to get on because it's the done thing isn't always what's best for the individual even though they might be capable of doing more. I was utterly miserable and strung out when I pushed myself, even though on paper my department was thriving and I was doing well. I took a salary cut and stepped down (we could afford this, appreciate that's not always the case) and it's made such a huge difference to my work life balance.

In short, don't do things because you feel you should do them (and I had to get over a lot if my internalized criticism about 'a man wouldn't think about doing this' - more fool him really! ), only do them if you want to do them.

Do it because you can step down if you have to. Your children will need you less & you may get a terrible boss.

Have they explicitly said that you would need to be full time? Don't assume that. Your responsibilities are go into be be shared with this other person anyway so curate your time carefully and hang on to that work life balance.

Your feelings of inadequacy are perfectly normal. Everyone in senior positions has these feelings except for overconfident numpties who have no understanding of their limits. We just keep quiet about such feelings and get on with the job. Either we have to let everything be run by overconfident numpties or those of us who aren't overconfident numpties need to muck in and do our best. Part of doing your best is to keep quiet about your feelings of inadequacy or your nearest overconfident numpty will make you suffer for it, but "fake it till you make it" does actually work as a strategy.

Thank you all and sorry for delay - school run
Yes I have a DH who also has a high pressure job, client facing so quite unpredictable and in a not-very-family friendly company - he does drop the kids off and collect one or two days a week already, and grandparents do one day. Although I work 4 days a week, I have to travel quite a lot at certain times of year, I've been away 9 nights in the past 3 weeks already.

The issue is me really - I want to be there for the kids, I want to collect them from school at least once a week and I don't want them to be in after school club and miss out on playdates and activities etc. Not many of their friends have working mums and I already feel guilty for the amount of time I am away. But then I have worked really hard to get where I am, have taken 3 lots of professional exams and done an MBA (all pre kids!) and don't want to just plateau now.

Although I will be sharing the job, there are distinct specialities in the bits I will do. But you are right that we could cover for each other

I think I am going to say that I want to work a day a week from home, and want to employ an assistant to pick up stuff while I am not there. And maybe get a nanny so that the kids can still do afterschool activities. And that if I find it's too much then I will want to step back down.

The thing is, you won't really know it's right until you do it. It sounds like you have a plan so go for it. If it's not right, you can always step down secure in your mind that you gave it your best shot.

Good luck!

I would go for it. I recently didn't apply for a job because I wasn't sure I was qualified. A more junior peer applied and got it! So I wouldn't worry that you aren't ready. And definitely negotiate terms now, it is much harder to do that once you have accepted the job.

And congratulations!!!

People are blithely saying " you can step down if it's too much". Will you have that chance? In my experience, if you're not perfect for the job from day one, people start machinations to remove you, which would be terrible for your self-confidence. And then people wonder why people are risk-averse.

If you're happy in your current role and it gives you the work-life balance you want, I'd stay in it.

I recently didn't apply for a job because I wasn't sure I was qualified. A more junior peer applied and got it

but will they be any good at it? Six months down the line, they might be out of a job altogether.

thanks again for advice
Our CEO likes people to be open and transparent and i would hope that if I find it is too much, I would be able to say so without it resulting in me being managed out. I have a chat booked in with him early next week so will make sure I raise these issues

Mulledwine, I doubt it. He is very competent but I did the classic female thing and thought I can do 75 per cent of the job spec but not the other 25 and he did the opposite and got it!