People with high pressure jobs - how do you keep your sanity?!

[TheDonald]

Sorry but this is a bit of a moan!

I'm the deputy manager at a small charity working with vulnerable service users. The manager has been off sick for 2 weeks with at least another 2 weeks to go (possibility of chemo to follow which would mean several months off)

She is a workaholic / martyr who works 40-60 hr weeks usually. I am covering her work and mine. Most of her work is service related which I'm not doing but she has several meetings in the evenings that I've needed to attend. This week I've worked 2 13 hr days and tonight I'm covering a night shift because a colleague phoned in sick and there's no back up procedure because boss would usually do it.

I am a single parent with a 15yo dd who is currently enjoying her first overnight at home alone, no doubt watching Netflix for hours! She'll be ok and I'm not worried about leaving her for one night but I've only seen her for 2 minutes all day when she called in to the office to collect money for a ready meal. This is after 2 planned late nights this week already.

Dd has y10 exams this week and has basically been on her own.

I'm not coping well with the extra pressure and parenting guilt but I feel like I'm not doing anything that out of the ordinary.

I'm not eating well and I've missed all my usual exercise classes so that isn't helping. I'm worried I'm going to burn out before boss gets back!

Any suggestions for coping strategies?

No advice. Have been in similar situations and it's untenable long term. If there is no give (i.e. you are working 110% during a normal week) then you will eventually fall over if disaster strikes or you have to cover another colleague off sick.

Knowing what I know now I would be looking for another job.

I have been in a similar situation and it was really stressful. The person was terminally ill but, for a variety of understandable reasons, did not leave. My advice, if this looks to be developing into a long-term situation, would be to involve senior management as they have a duty of care to you as well as your manager. I didn't do that and I don't know that it would have ended well had I gone down that route. Your DD is approaching GCSE year, if your focus is completely on work you may miss the little signs that she needs extra support. Good luck, it was one of the most difficult times of my life as I was always mindful the person was dying, so I just sucked up the extra responsibility / work / hours.