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Freaking out and don't know what to do

3 replies

MaverickSnoopy · 12/06/2017 12:55

Help! Someone tell me what to do!

I am coming up or the end of a years maternity leave. I am planning on handing my notice in at work this week. I love my role but my new manager has made it clear she doesn't like me (she has recently done the sam to others too). I don't have any fight in me, have made peace with it and just want to go.

I am trying to establish myself as a freelancer. I need to work but we would manage in the short term while I get something in place. I have a diverse skill set so am targeting several areas. I have had some interest and done some work but it's still early days. I have been very proactive at seeking work and this morning had two calls. The first has resulted in an offer of work (company A) and the second (company B) has offered me an interview as an employee in a couple of weeks.

I have been very adversely effected by my manager and am waiting for counselling. I feel like I am incompetent (despite excellent feedback over the years and a recent award) and am a big fake trying to sell myself. I have been out of the workplace for over a year and for three years prior been working for an organisation very behind the times. So I feel that my skills are rusty. Both roles are seeking someone innovative (I am) and who is capable of online marketing. I am capable but I wouldn't say that I have relevant experience aside from being familiar with social media on a personal level and building a website recently.

Company A have emailed me welcoming me to the company....for various reasons I am dubious to their credibility as they are a new start up and some things don't add up. But I could be reading into it too much because I am nervous. I also feel that they are asking for more than is possible for the hours stated and that some of the expectations could be unachievable with my skillset....but they seem to think not. Company B sounds fantastic and ticks a lot of boxes. I could do the job but I would need to learn many aspects of it. I am confident about teaching myself things (and can evidence this well) but am very worried (having been out of the workplace so long and having come from an out of date company) that I would be expected to hit the ground running and that this company think I am something I am not. However I might be "something" but my confidence has been knocked.

I feel so out of my depth. I want to run away. Company A want an answer today and I won't be seeing company B until the end of next week. My inclination is to turn down company A but if they are credible it would be an amazing career move. However then I'd be walking away from company B as I don't have time for both. But then I'm terrified about that too! I feel like a pretend grown up and somehow I've managed to get this far and now I need to start talking about grown up language that I don't yet understand.

I don't know what I'm asking....I suppose I'm trying to figure out what on earth to do!

OP posts:
newnoo · 12/06/2017 16:29

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

MaverickSnoopy · 13/06/2017 07:02

Thanks so much. I'm calmer now and have talked to a few people in real life too.

Company B haven't made any offer but I have an interview. I've just turned down company A - not because of company B, but because I don't feel comfortable about them. Each person I have spoken to in real life seem to think they sound a bit dodgy and I just have a gut feeling about them. If I did work for them then I wouldn't have time to prepare for my interview either and it does require a lot of preparation.

I feel better about my skillset and my knowledge and whilst I think this area is new to me (as an entity) I am very familiar with a lot of the concepts. The company is also very pro learning and development which is a huge positive.

So I'm calmer and I'm going to knuckle down and start pulling everything together now! Thank you so much!

OP posts:
newnoo · 13/06/2017 09:23

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

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