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Original poster

Anyone else returning to work soon? Feeling a bit wobbly...

25 replies

Swizzler · 14/03/2007 18:04

I'm going back to work for 3 days a week from the beginning of a April (going up to 4 days after 3 months). I had been rather looking forward to it, but talking to the HV about managing feeds when I'm at work (I'm bfing and will try expressing) has made me realise how long I'll be leaving DS for . I'll prob be leaving at 7ish and returning at about 6, and when we move house in the summer my commute will probably be longer.

Doesn't help that I'm hormonal atm, but feeling v tearful at the idea of leaving DS (he'll be 6 months old by then). I know I'm lucky in that I'm going back p/t and DH is looking after DS to start with (he worlkds freelance and things are pretty quiet at the moment). There are plenty of good things about it: I enjoy my job, I like the people I work with, I'll get lots of adult conversation, I can read a bok without someone trying to eat it... but stil sitting here sniffing and feeling a wuss.

DS is sound asleep at the moment - at least posting on MN is stopping me hanging over his cot and listening to him breathing...

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charliegal · 14/03/2007 18:10

I feel the same. Will be going back in June for 2 days a week, while my dp is at home. I had no idea of the panic this idea would induce when I made my merry plans whilst pregnant.
I am freelance and travel around,have no idea how to manage the bfeeding.

hunkermunker · 14/03/2007 18:12

Hello lovely ladies.

If I can help, I will - I've been back twice with bfed DSs and am working full time and still bfing my 13mo DS2 on demand on the three days when I'm with him and in the night [yawn]

Don't worry. Please don't worry. It'll all work out and you'll enjoy it.

Original poster
Swizzler · 14/03/2007 18:12

I'm going to try and express at work, if I can't get enough (will have started solids by then as well) then going to (gulp) top up with formula. Thing is, I was feeling pretty blase until today and am now convinced it will All Go Horribly Wrong.

Then again, I always wanted to go bacl to work as I do enjoy my job and couldn't see myself as a f/t SAHM, so I have to face this at some point .

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Original poster
Swizzler · 14/03/2007 18:14

Hunker: bizarrely, after struggling for months with night waking (DS usually wakes every 2-3 hrs for a feed, sometimes more) I'm now worried he'll stop waking and I'll miss my nighttime cuddles .

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hunkermunker · 14/03/2007 18:14

Try and express a bit now and freeze it. You'll feel more comfortable if you have a supply in the freezer when you start.

charliegal · 14/03/2007 18:14

I feel panic at the thought of leaving him. I'm sure this WAS explained to me before I had him, but I just didn't listen..or couldn't imagine it.

hunkermunker · 14/03/2007 18:15

Ach, dreamfeed him then - you'll get a snuggle, he'll get some milk, everybody's 'appy

Original poster
Swizzler · 14/03/2007 18:17

Hunker: good point about freezing. We only have a top-of-the-fridge type freezing compartment at the moment, so I think milk only keeps for 2 weeks.

If you're bfing 3 days, I assume you're working 4 days a week?

Charliegal: IKWYM about the panicking - I'll post regular updates from the front if you like, as I'll be back a couple of months before you.

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hunkermunker · 14/03/2007 18:18

Yep, I work four days, but they're LONG days - I do 9-7 three days and 10-8 one day.

Original poster
Swizzler · 14/03/2007 18:22

How does that work out? One of the things I'm worrying about is getting home in time to see DS before he has a meltdown and has to go to bed (6:30 at the latest).

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hunkermunker · 14/03/2007 18:35

Both boys nap in the day - DS1 is 2.11 and will cheerfully sleep for 3 hours if I let him... But it means he goes to bed fairly late, so I see him then. DS2 did used to go to bed earlier (still woke in the night!), but as he's got older, he's going later too. Some nights he's asleep before I get home, but he always wakes up and signs milk as soon as he sees me

Original poster
Swizzler · 14/03/2007 18:49

I'm sure when DS realises he won't get any bf milk till I get back he'll do the same thing - he does love his food

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hunkermunker · 14/03/2007 19:12

Oh, but don't worry about him not being able to go to sleep without you there - DS2 will go to sleep beautifully for everyone else (most of the time) but he knows I'm the one with the norks, so he won't be fobbed off if I'm around. Bright kid...

ArtichokeTagine · 14/03/2007 19:45

Swizzler - I know exactly how you feel. My DD is 7 months and I am returning to work at the beginning of May (3 days a week). Suddenly that feels so close and I look at little DD and my heart breaks. She is breastfed and will NOT take a bottle. She also gets upset when I so much as leave the room. How will she cope??? I thought I would hate being a SAHM but I love it. I am so sad my life of baby groups and milky smiles is nearly over.

I also really worry as DD will only nap if breast fed or pushed in the pram, the nursery obviously will not do that, how will she sleep????

I have already started expressing and now just have to find a way of persuading her to suck from a bottle. I have every brand going and she hates them all.

Original poster
Swizzler · 14/03/2007 20:02

Artichoke: you may find that your LO magically accepts bottles if you're not there and may also nap in another environment. They change so much at this age - DS may even be sleeping through by then (though I doubt it!). I'm also holding on to the fact that I will be at home 4 days a week, so the majority of the time. Are any of your groups on your days off? I expressly asked for Weds off so I could carry on with one of mine (didn't tell them that though )

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Original poster
Swizzler · 14/03/2007 20:03

And could you try a cup? My hv suggested starting DS on a cup now he's 5 months.

I admit to keeping going in to DS's cot and peering at him in a maudlin fashion this evening though

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Ceebee74 · 14/03/2007 20:07

Artichoke - just to reassure you I had the same worries about napping for my DS who went to nursery at just over 6 months (he is now 8months) - he would usually only settle on our bed.

However, he manages to have 2 naps a day (usually 30-45 mins each) and apparently they put him in the cot and he just goes to sleep - one of the staff said they wished they had 100 babies like him who did that - wonder why he doesn't do that at home

Ceebee74 · 14/03/2007 20:10

Oh and Swizzler, going back to your original post, although I was absolutely dreading returning to work, it was (and is) absolutely fine so don't worry about it (easier said than done I know).

I loved being a SAHM during my mat leave and was dreading the end of mine and DS 'little bubble' (mainly because I got to lie in without an alarm clock going off every day and could slob in my PJ's all morning) but things have to change and before you know it, you will wonder why you were worried (I only work 3 days too and it is ideal - just keep reminding yourself that you get more days with your LO than without)

Original poster
Swizzler · 14/03/2007 20:25

Ceebee: yes, I am thinking about the 3 days a week thing - am going to 4 days after a few months though (gulp). Also need to tackle boss about expressing at work - feel oddly guilty about having so much time off and now expecting preferential treatment...

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Ceebee74 · 14/03/2007 20:29

But it isn't preferential treatment - all employers have to be family-friendly now so if you have to express, you have to express.

Besides, I have had to leave early/take days off a few times since I have been back as DS seems to have developed what one friend called 'nursery snot' and has been permanently sniffly etc - and I was talking to my manager today as I had to leave at 3 as nursery needed me to pick him up - I was apologising for going early AGAIN, and she said don't worry, you earned enough credits before your maternity leave with my staying late, working through lunch etc - which I thought was lovely for her to say that and shows that all the work you put it when you can (before babies) can work in your favour.

Sorry - bit rambly but I hope you get my point.

Original poster
Swizzler · 14/03/2007 20:45

True - DH points out that I worked for them for nearly 8 years before taking maternity leave so they shouldn't complain. Just another aspect of Mother Guilt I suppose.

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ArtichokeTagine · 14/03/2007 21:17

Thanks for the reasuurance guys. I am living in hope that DD is going to be contrary and decide to bottle feed and nap as soon as I am not around. If she doesn't she is going to be one cross baby and the nursery will not have fun.

I too keep reminding myself that I will be with her more days than not. But I will hardly see her for those 3 days as I will leave at 8ish and get back after DP has put her to bed .

Original poster
Swizzler · 14/03/2007 21:20

AT: yes, I'm worrying about that as well, though Hunker pointed out that DS might start waking later to get some milk in .

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B1977 · 14/03/2007 21:39

Hi

Am in the same boat too, just got the forms from work this week as I've been off for 6 months (my baby boy is now 5 months old). Am planning to go back in July but I am worrying same as others on this thread: what if he can't eat (won't take bottle), what if he's not happy with the nursery staff, etc.? Also what if I get mastitis or can't cope with the long days?

Just crossing my fingers and assuming it will all be fine as so many other mothers have done it before me.

It helps knowing other people have the same concerns so I don't feel irresponsible for going back to work.

Good luck everyone, hope it works out for all of us!

Original poster
Swizzler · 14/03/2007 22:07

Thanks for all the responses - knowing I'm not alone and the good advice has made me feel a lot better about the whole thing (as has an evening on MN )

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