I need a job.But youngest child has problems.

[lukeymom]

My youngest is nearly 5. As a single parent claiming Income Support,it is soon to be stopped.I have been told to find a job or claim JSA.
Up until I had my two kids I worked either in a factory or mobile cleaning,and was a key holder. I have worked in doctors surgeries. Also when I had my nearly 5 year old I cleaned a doctor's house. The doctor knew my family for years and she needed help. She and her hubby were retired and were in ill health. They were glad for my help a few days a week.Sadly she became very ill and had to go in a nursing home.Before this she told me I would be good as a Carer.
The past 10 months I have tried my hardest to get back into work.
I have applied for lots of different jobs ,have been to a few interviews but haven't been successful. Last November I applied for a homecaring job. Had interview,induction (half a day) .Put all details of past jobs on application form.One job I was at 13 years.
I was motivated to start the job,they even said about us having kids we are allowed to leave early if an emergency etc.
Come January this year I get a phone call to say that they haven't heard of any references from my past employers,so can't start me on.Maybe numbers had changed from back then I don't know. I did contact one doctor's surgery I worked at and asked for a reference but I still heard nothing. So I kind of gave up on it. I can't really understand it. Yet there was a young teenage girl wanting to start at the job with perhaps no references and I bet they started her on.
I am in my 40's.
My dilemma is that my young son has speech problems and is under a speech therapist. He also sees a Paediatrician. He is due to have a thorough hearing test done shortly at hospital also.
He is kind of delayed in speech,writing,even his drawings are like a toddler would do,yet he tells exactly what he has drawn but they mostly don't even look like what he says.
In preschool the manager there was forever on to me about my son's development saying he was quiet and didn't talk much.She was always making a big thing of it. I knew he had trouble pronouncing certain words and so I agreed to see a ST which they refered me to.
Ever since he has been in Reception I have had to keep taking him to appointment after appointment ,basicly every 3 weeks. Not only that I'd get calls from school saying he had messed himself and I've had to go in quite alot to change him.It was either coz he had a tummy bug or he was to shy to tell teacher. This improved after a while,but then certain members of staff keep calling me about the slightest thing ,either saying my son appears tired,or he has a small rash on his arm. Even when he fell over and grazed his knee and a small graze on his brow,they called me in and questioned me about his grazes.Beforehand they asked my son how it happened. The member of staff said my son was saying his eyebrow hurt. Before Easter I was questioned about my son having itchy finger which looked sore. I was told to see a doctor.I saw a doctor and the school staff called me in again to see what the doctor prescribed.Not only that but was asking me all sorts of questions about our family life and coming across as if they thought I was neglecting my child.This was before the Easter break.
I feel stressed at the best of times but I do take care of my two kids and they are generally happy.
Now with me having to find work I wonder how I am going to manage. Having to go to regular appointments or calls from school ,what employer will take me on knowing I have these responsibilities?
I worry what I will do financially when my Income Support stops. I do not want to sign on JSA. I have been told in a letter that I must tell them what I am going to do next month when my child turns 5. Is there a benefit I can claim for my son in the meantime until I know exactly what my son's problems are and I get a Statement for him.
I'm grateful for any replies.

Many employers offer flexible working so you could use this time to take your son to appointments. If it is once every three weeks it should not be too much of an issue.

I would speak to the school and advise them you are looking for work and agree what they should and should not contact you about during working hours.

Relax! My DS was a bit of a handful in reception- he did not cope well with the enforced structure. I assume it's double hard for your DS with his speech / hearing problems. Hopefully it will get picked up with a proper diagnosis and you with the school can put an action plan into place.
As for the "little accidents" next time the school ring up, tell them you are currently out of town and you will be there within the hour. (You might have to do this a few times, but they will get the message! - And don't worry, school has a duty of care and can't leave him in his mess!)

Thanks for your replies. I just feel with my son I don't know if he is developing as well as other kids in his year. How will he cope in Year 1 for instance. It was even suggested that he might have to ho to a special school for his speech problems,I also think they may want us to learn sign language. We are in the second stage of his therapy and its currently involving using pictures for him to point to if the listener cannot understand him. We've been given a folder with pictures in.As for the special school they said I'd hear about it in 6-12 months.
So would I say my son has a disability?

Hi lurkymom.

Your post has three different problems - getting the references you need for a job, getting a job that works around the kids and finally, your son's problems.

Regarding references, employers need to know you are honest, reliable and will turn up to work on time. If you can't get through to past employers, it may be worth asking a friend for a character reference and an volunteer organisation for another (e.g. PTA, Scouts, charity shops - anywhere you may have helped out and they are willing to say so).

Regarding work; it's tough and you will probably need to be creative to find a flexible job. Is self employed an option? (I have no idea how it works with benefits, sadly). You could offer cleaning, ironing, dog walking and pet sitting services. If you are willing to train (most councils offer cheap courses to claimants), you could also look at mobile hairdressing or beautician services - they are in demand for young families and care homes. If you have access to a computer and broadband, there are online opportunities such as transcription typing, remote PA work and blog writing. Be careful about the rates of pay though - some freelance sites such as upwork take a large upfront fee from your earnings.

Regarding your little boy, I am surprised his hearing difficulties were not picked up at his development checks. It's good he is getting a through check done and you could start using Makaton (sign supported English) in the meantime. Depending on the outcome, he may not need a special school - I have been profoundly deaf since birth and managed at mainstream schools and university with hearing aids and lipreading. It's not easy, but deafness is one of the more flexible disabilities and you can close the developmental gap, given time. Reading and writing were my lifeline so keep looking at books and reading to him.

Good luck!

Hi,I've been a bit busy and only just read your reply TheABC .Thanks so much for your reply as it is very informative. The job situation,I am trying to start a dog walking service,I am promoting my mini business atm. Fingers crossed it will take off. My son has an appointment in a few weeks for his hearing. I'm also waiting to hear from the Paedeotrician,it's been a while.My son is intelligent in lots of ways but as I say he has his speech problems but also he is getting more and frightened of loud noises,and coming out with rude sayings.I have to keep telling him it is wrong. Anyway,it's just a waiting game so I will have to see what the outcome is. Glad you have got on despite you having hearing loss.