Nhs mediation process

[Crazymaisienumber9]

Hi this is my first time on mumsnet so please forgive any breeches ! To cut a long story short my immediate boss was bullying me last year which culminated in a huge row with her shouting at me but it wasn't witnessed. I didn't take a grievance (should have) as now there are still issues. She has a history of this kind of behaviour but unfortunately our original manager now retired, did not deal with it appropriately, so it will be difficult to prove. It took me a long time to see my immexiate boss' divisive behaviour among colleagues. Now I find she is hell bent on ensuring I lose my compressed working hours. I work very hard to ensure I leave nothing for colleagues to do in my absence and always have my work up to date. Now we are poised for mediation for our poor working relatiknship. Has anyone any tips or relevant cautions for this process as I am not confident or trustworthy of the system based on things I've heard and experienced. All comments gratefully received. Thanks

Now I find she is hell bent on ensuring I lose my compressed working hours

Do you know exactly what she has said. What do you mean by being hell bent, because she can't just suddenly change your contractually agreed terms of contract without a formal process of justification and renegotiation.

Can you contact your union rep give them the info and get them to support you as you are entitled to have a rep with you at the meeting.

To be brief...I got my compressed hours about 6 months after I started working there. Been there about 3 years now. She initially encouraged it but then when things happened in my personal life family illness and the like she started to resent it. Since the day of the row, when I realised this, she has voiced her intentions to get rid of my hours on a few occasions to a colleague who has told me what she has said eg ...her compressed hours have to go." Because of her behaviour in other ways I am sure she is voicing these comments to my manager and therefore influencing her with her warped views.
I had to submit a letter initially to my now retired manager requesting condensed hours . This hasn't been formalised through HR though, although I intend to pursue this now. My rcn rep isn't really helpful , with respect, he doesn't 'get' it. Frankly she is a narcissist, and he keeps fobbing me off preferring phone support ( he is a nice enough guy but busy and rushed) rather than a meet which I would prefer.

ps the initial meet is supposed to be a more casual affair, and if it doesn't reach a successful conclusion then it becomes more formal.

A lot depends on the attitudes of the people involved and the skills of the mediator.

Try and go into it with an open mind. It is an informal, voluntary process and as such you do not have a representative with you.

As you say, formal avenues are still open if it is unsuccessful.

Does your RCN rep respond to email?

Yes he does. I've been texting and asking to speak to him and waiting for a response but don't put much detail in the text just a general guide to my issue. He can take a few days to respond which is only to be expected though

Have a clear idea in your own mind before the meeting, exactly what your desired outcome is, plus responses to any criticisms this manager might throw into the mix. Make a few bullet points to take in with you in case you go blank, use your notes as a safety net, then you'll feel a lot stronger inside.

Think about how you can calmly but assertively respond, stating clearly your rationale for compressed hours and how you have been able to make things work for the past 6 months with your previous manager's support. You've set the precedent already, so this new manager may be on the back foot trying to change things.

Can you try to get a different RCN rep, it your current person is to busy to give the support you need?

too busy

Lots of other stuff has gone on, not just the compressed hours, so while I can be fairly rational in the main I'm struggling with her. I can now see how devious and blatant a liar she is . I feel aggrieved that 2 managers who know her of old have privately admitted their concerns to me, among others, regarding her, but it seems it has been left solely to me, to not only defend accusations she has made against me (lies), the compressed hours situation, but also taking her to task over her other behaviours. I have been harassed and bullied by this individual but been left to do what management seem incapable of tackling or managing. My reps opinion is to try to sort it amicably as the formal process is so messy and stressful. I do not trust this person at all and never will. We may draw up some sort of behaviour contract but she will never adhere to it, this is her personality. I just feel she will be even more devious in her approach in the future. This may sound melodramatic but I could write a book about her behaviour over the last year and a half.

Mediation is a good start but your ultimate aim should be to get out of her orbit. Is it possible to move to another service / directorate?

The NHS has no idea when it comes to people management. It's an area that badly needs investment.

It sounds like you are unlikely to gain much ground without witnesses prepared to back you up unfortunately.

Taking out a formal grievance can be a helpful way forward because there is an obligation on the employer to address the problem. It gives you the chance to say your piece and ask for a transfer. Is this something you would be willing to do?

FYI - the term harassment is reserved in conjunction with a protected characteristic, e.g. race, gender, pregnancy. Bullying is the general term for unwanted, aggressive nasty behaviour that you describe.

Thanks for the feedback everyone it has been helpful toward getting some clarity on things.

To change jobs isn't really an option, where I am and the area I work in has limited options. To change would incur significant repercussions in a number of ways, I suppose if things deteriorate even further I'm going to have to go. It irks me that she can stay irregardless of her behaviour.

I really have no faith in the system eg grievance . A family member has been through something similar and was hung out to dry. A colleague took out a grievance on a similar personality...again someone everyone knew was problematic,.... and she wasn't found favourably on any of the points she had raised against her manager despite having good 'evidence'.

I think I'm in a lose lose situation. I am going to document everything to try and protect myself. This woman has already redirected some of her behaviours back onto my colleague, someone she has had issues with before. My only hope is things get to a point that it becomes a collective alliance to protect ourselves.

There are people adjacent to us in our office who could back me up in some of the incidents or exchanges, but not all. Some of the people involved are not in our team and I haven't known them long. I would feel very uncomfortable asking them to get embroiled in my mess. She has told lies about them also and they might be persuaded if this continues to say something. Unfortunately we are changing offices to a more isolated environment therefore limiting others observing her antics.

Ultimately the system has to be robust, I don't feel it is and feel very unsupported, despite the number of people who have been on the receiving end of her 'special attention ' !

Daisychain01 thanks for clarifying the difference between bullying and harassment. She is indeed a bully.

Again thanks everyone.

I had a manager the same. Eventually she did the same to various colleagues. Once one complaint was made others followed. You need the rep at the mediation. So request a new one or an Rcn officer. Who does this full time. Also if you have lids under 18 you are entitled to ask for compressed hours. Plus you have been working them and it has been accepted by.managers. also you have worked for over two years in the same job. So you are protected somewhat. But pull the policy on compressed hours.

Then report it. To be told by a rep it is messy when formal is crap
Try mediation but I'd this does not work report it. But to be honest I would make the union involve themselves.

Ps the manager was sacked.

Thanks Jeanneweany. Our team is small. We have 3 nurses but historically there have been other disciplines in the team which was eventually dismantled back to just nurses.

Previously she had issues with 2 of the staff, one from each discipline. It seems anyone who has any kind of opposing opinion is a potential target, or anyone who she is threatened by. She is so dogmatic and unwilling to listen and her MO then is to accuse them of bullying her.

Essentially now it is up to my colleague and i. This woman is capable of saying anything about you, especially if her back is againt the wall . Mud sticks, I dont trust my managers. Recently i had a written statement by someone completely removed from our team proving her lies over an incident involving me. We had a meeting about the incident and 'she' did what she always does and just talked at 100 hundred miles an hour until it was effectively ignored. Another whitewash. A friend has said to me the only way they will get rid of her is if she kills someone, i think she is right.

I dont know if i am made of strong enough stuff for this battle. 😌