Too heartbroken to make a rational decision

[twinsetandpearls]

I teach part time and had always been given the impression that I could increase my hours every year to to teach full time eventually. Anyone who has seen me post in the education section would know that I am passionate about state education and adore my school.

Our school is bancrupt though and we are laying off staff and I have been told that my hours cannot increase. I was counting on my hours increasing to help make our financial situation a bit easier, housework is a real issue at home and something dp and I fall out about as I am very career focussed and do not do my share if I am honest so an aupair was about to start, we cannot afford her if I am not going to get a pay rise soon. May sound minor and a tad spoilt of me but I do struggle to balance working in a job that is demanding and running a house and the aupair was going to relive a lot of tension in the house. THere are also a lot of jobs that need doing on the house and paying for those needs me to be earning more money which I was expecting to do next year,

There is a full time job going in a school not to faraway, but not as conveniently close as my present school, that offers me more chance of career development, job security and the full time pay packet.

But I love the school I teach at presently and I know I won't be replaced which will land my head of department in it and my students will be taught badly by non specialists, including two of my gcse classes. I teach in a very tough school where teachers come and go and it has taken my students a long time to trust me and the thought of telling them that I may be leaving breaks my heart. I am in tears at the thought of leaving and we can live on dp wage and my part time one but life wqould be so much easier if I was working full time. What would you do?

But I will have a fuiture whatever, maybe a less opulent one but a future, I ahve my qualification, my house etc.

Before me these kids had had a series of crap teachers who didnlt give a shit and when I have gone they won't even have that as I won't be replaced to save money. The school really needs us all to stay and ride out the tough times for the sake of the kids, I really donlt want to jump ship.

SlightlyMadScientist that does worry me as we could not pay our mortgage, but whatif the school did not need to getrid of me I woudl then have left when I could have stayed all for a few quid a month.

The head is saying my preent job is safe but thatis with the knoweldge has has now, if pupil numbers fall everything changes,

It is a tricky one. You sound totally torn in 2 between your head and your heart.

Don't know what else to say. Looking at this thread I think you are trying to give yourself justification to stay...thats what you really want....

I think you shoudl go down the route of applying for other job, that way you still haev a little time to think about it before actually comitting either way.

I am applying for the other job to give myself time to think.

I know if I followed my head I would move schools although perhaps if I followed my head I would not be a teacher!

I want to tell you to follow your head, but I know I'd follow my heart in the situation you've described.

Have been thiking about it, my plan at the moment is to cancel our summer holiday and the au pair so we can say and perhaops if I geta job working in a pub or a supermarket in the evening.

I think you have to do what is right for you and your family. Only you truely know what that is.

I know how you mean re leaving a school you feel you are achieveing at. My first school I really did not want to leave. I left for home life balance. I hated telling the pupils and staff, but I had to do it. As for the second time, that was different. I left for my health. I had no choice - but it wasn't easy. I knew that some of my pupils had made massive improvements in my class, and I worried about it. It took me 2 attempts to leave - first time, I gave in and returned 2 days a week to take some pupils to end of their GCSEs, after the head came to see me a few times. The second time I did go - I did what was right for me rather than the pupils, and I haven't regretted it.

If you are working in the day and in the evenings, do you think you will manage? I don't mean financially - I mean in terms of getting everything done? And spending time as a family with your DH and DD?

Home life balance is very important.

But if I move schools I will be working further away, 35 minute bus journey across town rather than a two minute car journey or a fifteen minute work, which will impact home life balance.

And I will be working five days a week rather than my presnet part time so it is swings and roundabouts.

and although the new school is an easier school to teach in it is very hardwork establishing yourself in a school.

I ahve also just read the prospectus in which it proudly climas to have halved the number of pupils attending the school that claim free school meals as it now recruits kids fomr different areas, not a claim I would feel proud of.

You're right it is going to impact your work/life balance and you have to ensure that you can manage that.

Are you worried that if your current school lays people off and you are one of them you will not be able to find another position locally? Or is the worst case scenario that you stay where you are if that's what you really want and if/when this happens you move anyway? Is it partly a timing issue?

Do what is right for you and your family.

There are a number of things that concern me.

the first immediate concern is that I cannot increase my hours at my school when that had been my plan, money has been tight but we never thought it was going to be a permanent issue so it was never a huge concern.

I was also going to hire an aupair as I suffer from depression and at times absolut clinical exhaustion, I do manage this but sometimes cannot cope with the house and my job. The aupair who should bestarting ina few weeks would relieve some of this strain.

Secondly my school is a very very difficult school to teach in but it is about to get harder as we are loosing staff, classes are getting bigger and the support is being lost. We teach very low ability children many of whom are considered to be at risk and are not really suitable for teaching in large groups. I do worry how I am going to hold up in that situation. But I also worry about the effect my leaving will have on my pupils and my colleasges as I will not be replaced. I could be one of the people contributing to making bad situation a dire one.

Thirdly there is a chance, not a great one, that there could be a further round of redundancies and as I don;t teach maths english or science there is a chance I could be hit. No one knows if thatcoudl happen and I doubt it as the school could not function if any more staff went but I woudl be fool not to see the fact thatmy job would be more secure in a more "successful" chuch school thatis growing rather than ours which is shrinking.

If I do loose my job six months down the line or it becomes too much to stayatmy school I will struggle to get another teaching post as they are not common in my subject.

But I am more likley to keep my job than loose it so should I not do the right thing and hang on and hope that the school can turn itself around, and play a key part in that process, and then hopefully get more hours.

VeniVidiVickiQV but if you work in the public sector with vulnerable children like I do do you not have a responisbility to put them first sometimes as long as your own child is not put at risk.

Do whatever makes you happiest TSaP. If your leaving after 4 years anyway think of the fab reference you'll have for chosing to stay!

Can you talk openly to the head about this? Get more clarity around the redundancies and explain your situation?
I think applying for the new job is good. Interview experience is never wasted regardless of your decision.
DH and I used to have those conversations all the time about who did more in the house etc and Saturdays were just a write off of jobs and arguements. We have a cleaner for 4 hours per week who does all major cleaning and ironing and we keep it tidy v easily on top of this. I realise this doesn't cover any childcare issues that an Au Pair would though.

I suppose if it were me, I would probably stay, being part of a school turnaround like this would be an amazing experience.

I do appreciate that TSAP. It is difficult.

But, there has to come a point, a balance where one need outweighs the other. I think you may have reached that point where you need to redress the balance.

Its a terribly hard decision, I feel for you

StrangeTown Iahve had a frank discussion with the head and he has made the position clear that he cannot offer me any more time for the forseeable future and thatmy job maybe mre secure atthe other school.

An aupair would help as at present we have to drop dd atmy mums at6.50 in the morning so we can both get to work. I don;t like relying on my mum and it also makes life difficult when my mum is away or has to be in work early herself. It would also save on paying for after school club which can make dd day at school a very long one as she is only five. But lots of other people manage to cope without an aupiar and we will have to do the same. TBH we could not even afford a cleaner if my wages are not going to rise, but then again lots of other people cope without a cleaner.

Monkeytrousers you are right, surely I can stick it out for a few years.

Unfortunaley my flights to florida are non returnable and I dont think I can sell them. We have lost over K2 in flights but that is better than spending even more money on villas and theme park tickets.

dp is backing me up on my decision to stay where I am, he is going to look into doing extra overtime to boost our income a bit and hopefully mean we don;t ahve to cancel our holiday.

After a few days of indecision I filled in the application form and made an appointment to view the possible new school.

Have had real mixed advice from colleagues many of whom said theywoudl leave due to the lack of job security but a few staff have asked me to stay and said how hard it would be to find someone to fill my positiona and how much te kids need us. So I have withdrawn my application at the last moment, feel relived the decision is made and hop it isn;t one I will regret.