I can't do it!!

[minusten]

I have been back at work for 4 months. Dd is now 18 months.

When I first went back I hated it, but I thought it would get better. It hasn't.

I feel like I can't do it. I am now crap at my job as it is no longer my priority, but I'm also feel like I'm not doing so well as a mother as everything is always so rushed.

I used to be so confident and goodat my job, so on the ball. Now I'm just miserable. It's only a matter of time before someone notices how rubbish I am now.

Don't know what to do.

Why do you say you are 'crap' at your job? Have you had feedback to that effect, or is that just your perception?

Do you think your line manager knows you feel struggling - is he/she approachable - could you have a chat to see if you really are doing as badly as you think? Your manager should have been supporting you with regular meetings as you returned from ML and settled back in - it's unrealistic to expect people to pick up where they left off after a long absence.

If your perception that you're not doing well is correct, it would be better for you to raise this yourself with your manager and ask for support, rather than waiting for someone else to notice it.

It sounds as though you need support and to rebuild your confidence, but don't be hard on yourself and assume you're 'rubbish' just because you're struggling to balance priorities.

^ knows you are struggling ...

stay at home is a good option i don't regret it :-)