Hi, I have namechanged for this.
I don't really know where to start. I think I'm being bullied, but I might be making a fuss about nothing.
I keep getting blamed for work not getting done by my colleagues even though I am not a manager. My role means I often have to specify work for other people to complete, which I do but nobody else keeps a record of what they're doing - I keep one of my work and will chase people up but in my last one-to-one was told this 'upset' people. So I stopped chasing for outstanding work and now I'm getting blamed for it not getting done. There's supposed to be a shared spreadsheet where all the tasks are added which I use religiously (because I know I need it written down) but I'm the only person who uses it for work so when reports need to be written I don't know what other members of the team have done and sometimes they can't tell me because they don't remember
. I'm getting the blame for all this even though I'm the only person who uses the sheet. I only work part-time (this was pushed on me because my child had some illness and I had to take some parental leave) but it seems that they are expecting me to know what other members of the team are working on when I'm not in, do a full time role and manage people when I'm not paid to be a manager.
I really want to just hand my notice in but we can't afford for me to do that. I am looking for another job.
Its making me feel like I can't do my job. I really used to love what I do, but now I feel like shit about myself and am paralysed with fear because it seems that everything I do is not good enough even though it really is.
For example, I tripled a 'bottom line' KPI in just 3 months, but because another KPI (which doesn't affect the bottom line) is stagnating (and had been falling before I started and I have turned that around but not got it to what it was before it slipped - which was before I worked there) I'm getting it in the neck. I just feel like I can't win.