Help! Interviewing nannies this morning and no idea what to ask. Any ideas?

[ragtaggle]

Just thought I'd quickly canvas opinion. We are interviewing nannies this morning to look after our dd who will be 10 months old when I go back to work full time in two months time. I just wondered if there are any burning questions I should make sure i ask, aside from the obvious ones. I'm not even sure what the going rate is for full time live out nannies in central London. I meant to research it yesterday but dd a real handful so didn't get a chance. Any ideas/suggestions really appreciated

this link has loads of info on nannies, scroll down for ideas on interview
www.workingfamilies.org.uk/asp/family_zone/fs_cc6_nannies.asp

good luck with it!

Thanks for that but the link doesn't work! Is there a web address?

type in
www.workingfamilies.org.uk
then and then family zone then nannies

If you're a routine-based mum, make sure the nanny is happy to follow your routine to the letter. Some nannies have the philosophy that it's OK if a baby or child misses a nap or bath once in a while in order to have a long exciting outing somewhere. I happen to agree with this, but some mums don't, so you'd have to be firm if you want your nanny home at a certain time for lunch, naps, etc. And make sure she isn't going to be miserable if she's expected to stay around the house a lot. Some nannies are fine with being essentially home-bound, but others will be crawling the walls. I've seen it become a bone of contention for some families & their nannies.

Make sure she's prepared to do child-related housework: tidying up the toys, clearing up the the baby's dishes after mealtimes, washing & ironing for the baby and a few simple other chores such as emptying the dishwasher, which will be necessary if she plans to put new dirty dishes in. I had a nanny who was great with the kids but never lifted a finger around the house with the child-related stuff, and I'd come home from work tripping over toys left and right and having to clear up the children's mealtime dishes and do all their washing.

Ask about punctualitiy; make it clear that punctulaity is important because you have to be at work at a certain time. Most nannies are punctual, but some just aren't--and they don't always appreciate that their lateness can affect your job.

Fianlly, I guess I'd just advise that you make the things that are important to you very clear at the start. If they share a different philosophy than you do about those things, you'll most likely glean that from their responses.

Going rate is £350- £400 pweek full time. On top of that you have to pay tax and national insurance which means that wait for it - to employ a nanny costs between £2200 to £2500 a month in central london. You can go for the black market route but you have to be doubly careful with references.

For that money you will expect perfection - but that doesn't exist , except of course you .

For us the biggest issue has been communication - can nanny communicate with you but also with your baby. A good nanny should be able to interact with your baby - it might be that your baby is shy of strangers. But you would expect to keep trying until she gets response. Our best nanny has been one who kept trying to communicate with our 2 and a half year old, she was persitent and wasn't put off his initial lack of response.

CHECK REFERENCES and dig for the dirt, few mums are totally honest about their previous nannies. Always ask would you employ them again.

Going rate is £350- £400 pweek full time. On top of that you have to pay tax and national insurance which means that wait for it - to employ a nanny costs between £2200 to £2500 a month in central london. You can go for the black market route but you have to be doubly careful with references.

For that money you will expect perfection - but that doesn't exist , except of course you .

For us the biggest issue has been communication - can nanny communicate with you but also with your baby. A good nanny should be able to interact with your baby - it might be that your baby is shy of strangers. But you would expect to keep trying until she gets response. Our best nanny has been one who kept trying to communicate with our 2 and a half year old, she was persitent and wasn't put off his initial lack of response.

CHECK REFERENCES and dig for the dirt, few mums are totally honest about their previous nannies. Always ask would you employ them again.

i am v. interested in this too - we have just decided for a number of reasons to go the nanny route when i go back to work (in many ways against our inclinations), so i will be reading this with interest!

I'm far too late, aren't I ragtaggle?

However, if you still doing interviews, I'd strongly recommend two things:

• let them talk - tell you about why they like nannying - "what has been your favourite job so far and why" can be a good starter (also if you can get them to say if there were any jobs they didn't like - and why - that is always very interesting) - all sorts of things about how you'll interact, whether you share values etc. quite naturally come out of that. It's a better approach I think than asking them direct questions about childcare style (or you telling them what you're looking for) because it means you don't have a situation of a candidate trying to guess and give the "right" answers; and

• see if you can let them have a bit of time to talk to your baby. That can be a bit difficult for the nanny as she'll feel tested, but candidates who can forget themselves in focussing on the baby are in our experience the best ones. I think I'm agreeing with Kaz there.

Also agree on going rate. There tends to be a premium for little babies (because baby experience is rarer), plus also a premium for qualifications. If you have a look on, say, Imperial Nannies website, you will get a sense of what level of pay makes a job attractive.

If you're not going through agencies DO NOT FORGET A POLICE CHECK - known as "enhanced disclosure" - candidates should either have a current one to show you or be very happy to do one - can take about 4 weeks though. I am feeling cross with myself as I interviewed a nanny last night and completely forgot to ask her about it.

another twopennorth here: ask how they deal with conflict? ie how would she handle it if you disagreed on when/how to potty-train. If she had a problem (with the job I mean) what would she do? How would she like to tell you about the day (ie time for a 10 minute chat every night; twenty minute chat once a week, keeping a diary). Someone else said it here but communication is so important. It's kind of difficult to guage answers to these questions but at least see if you can guage whether she thinks it's important - coz it really really is. And a nanny that can't see that ain't going to work out - imho. Unless you really want to pass over decisions and responsibilities (which I doubt) you and a nanny have to work as a team. I had a nanny who felt undermined because I wanted to know what they'd done that day and because I asked if she could jot down what they'd eaten so I didn't give them the same later in the week. It wasn't a good relationship. Getting into a bit of a rant here but another thing is make sure you can get on with them...I thought it wasn't important ie it was more important that the kids got on with her - but, for me anyway, it was important. I'll shut up now

Also do they love children ? Ask them about the kids they have looked after, do they have anything positive to say about them - does there love shine through. Its hard to imagine but there are some so called nannies who don't even particularly like kids - its actually quite a well paid unskilled job, much better than working in a bar, restaurant or shop.

ladies, about how far in advance should i start looking for a nanny? is it ever possible to persuade them to do any mucking in with the housework?

re timing of looking: I think about 6 weeks before your intended start date. Earlier, and most prospective employees won't be looking yet so you won't get responses; much later, and you will be looking more at "ad hoc" people (ie, who are immediately available, which can - but of course doesn't definitely mean - not such good quality).

Sadly there's luck involved - so, one of ours was an Australian "ad hoc" person, found within a weekend and an absolute star; but much more normal is to spend that whole 6 weeks gnawing your nails. If you're using agencies, see what they think about timing (and let us know!!).

Can you be flexible with your start date? That helps with the nails.

Say you were looking for a nanny to start in September, serenequeen. I'd start looking now. That said, it's not hard to find someone relatively last-minute, say a month before or even less. And some of the best nannies I've ever had were people I found, or who were introduced to me, pretty much exactly when I needed someone. (Sorry if that sounds vague and unhelpful.)

I'm using a nanny 3 afternoons a week at the moment, just for the summer while I'm doing a bit of part-time work. She's looking for full-time work, though, which I really won't be able to offer her. She's excellent, and I'd be happy to give you her details, serenequeen. She lives in Kensington. . .and aren't you in SW London? She's a New Zealander I met through the live-in nanny next door, who I'm sort of friendly with. She isn't trained, but for me that's irrelevant. She also doesn't have YEARS of childcare behind her, but she's sensible, clever, mature (a mature 24) and I never worry about leaving my kids in her hands. In way I'd prefer she stayed on with me, but in another way I don't think it's fair that her part time work for me is probably impeding her getting a proper full-time job. Contact me through "another talker" if you want details.

oh, sorry sq you asked about housework too. Yes muckers-in definitely do exist, but possibly you're more likely to find them via the personal small ad/Simply Childcare kind of route than through formal nanny agencies, which tend (my experience) to focus on the childcare-duties-only sort of person.

For information, I've just done a single day's ad on thegumtree.com for a nanny/housekeeper (ie, doing housework too) to start in August & had 40 applications. Am now thinking (weirdly) of going through agencies so that there's a filter.

Agree with binkie on everything she just said. But some nannies, even v. professional ones, are neatniks by nature and they'll pitch in with the kitchen/take out rubbish without being asked. Others are the opposite & even child-related chores, which are part of their contract, won't get done. And as I said in an earlier post, that's an important one to get clear in advance. If you're working full time it can be demoralizing to come home and have to do all that stuff you've presumably paid someone else to do. You end up being able to spend even LESS time with your child, because you have these other chores to contend with.

A live-in nanny is diffferent: they DO need to help a little with the housework because they're living there and everyone who lives under the roof needs to pitch in, employer AND nanny.

One last bit of advice, obvious as it sounds, is to treat a nanny as an equal. I'd even go so far as to say a "friend," though others might disagree. Sometimes the personality match will preclude a friendship, but I do think it's important to hire someone you can see getting along with. It just makes the relationship a lot easier. It works the other way, too. If a nanny has an attitude of arrrogance and demandingness, the balance of power is in her favor. . .and that can be a platform for future conflict just as easily as exploitation can.

thank you very much

i don't need anyone till january - can't help worrying away at a "problem" miles in advance. however, i'm sure it will be useful to think things over in advance. undertaking the child related housework is a given for me - easing the burden on us is one of two major reasons we're considering this option, pitching in with other things would be nice... i suppose i just don't want a prima donna who won't even pick up a magazine or a cup...

thanks again

I was a nanny in London for 3 years then in Canada for another 3 years before returning here to get married 13 years ago.
Anyway from the nannies point of view be honest with them at interview about things like housework, babysitting, agree what happens if you are held up at work, if live in then having friends round.
I really enjoyed my 6 years as a nanny and am still in touch with the families. Advertise in The Lady mag as that has loads of jobs in.
It is a good idea to leave the children with her so a few moments to go and make a cup of tea to see how they react and also if the children are happy with her. Some nannies are NOT keen on children I met some of them while working they just thought they would get paid for sticking children infront of TV all day and ignore them, while they gossiped with their friends on telephone. Ask them how they planned their day? Ask them what they think they will be doing in 5 or 10 years?
I knew from about 12 that I wanted to be a nanny when I saw Wendy Craig on TV as Nanny, so as soon as I could I started babysitting for neighbours. Anyway my point is, that you should find out if they are just applying just because it is a job or whether they really want to work with children. I hope that is of help to some of you.
PLEASE do phone up references and ask if they would employ again or recommend to their best friend. Please also check that the person you are talking to is not just a frend of theirs, check addresses/numbers with BT ONLINE. Do police checks too. If they have qualifications then check with college. Maybe ask at local college that does NNEB courses for names of girls that are about to leave but be aware that a Qualification does not mean they have much experience.

I was a nanny in London for 3 years then in Canada for another 3 years before returning here to get married 13 years ago.
Anyway from the nannies point of view be honest with them at interview about things like housework, babysitting, agree what happens if you are held up at work, if live in then having friends round.
I really enjoyed my 6 years as a nanny and am still in touch with the families. Advertise in The Lady mag as that has loads of jobs in.
It is a good idea to leave the children with her so a few moments to go and make a cup of tea to see how they react and also if the children are happy with her. Some nannies are NOT keen on children I met some of them while working they just thought they would get paid for sticking children infront of TV all day and ignore them, while they gossiped with their friends on telephone. Ask them how they planned their day? Ask them what they think they will be doing in 5 or 10 years?
I knew from about 12 that I wanted to be a nanny when I saw Wendy Craig on TV as Nanny, so as soon as I could I started babysitting for neighbours. Anyway my point is, that you should find out if they are just applying just because it is a job or whether they really want to work with children. I hope that is of help to some of you.
PLEASE do phone up references and ask if they would employ again or recommend to their best friend. Please also check that the person you are talking to is not just a frend of theirs, check addresses/numbers with BT ONLINE. Do police checks too. If they have qualifications then check with college. Maybe ask at local college that does NNEB courses for names of girls that are about to leave but be aware that a Qualification does not mean they have much experience.

Sorry my connection keeps going and I clicked post message twice

katherine, it's so interesting to get a nanny's viewpoint. Why do you feel so strongly about the police checks and doublechecking the validty of refs? Have you seen some stuff you found worrying? If so, what?

Thanks so much for the nanny viewpoint Katherine. Have just found a nanny we quite like. Very interested about police checks - we are not going through an agency. Is it something we can do ourselves? She's Australian - do we need to go through the Australian police?

Hi I didn't mean to frighten you all it is just to be careful.

When I was in Canada several of the british nannies would give references from families here and would then boast that they were their aunt/sister/friend and the families did NOT exist. So if a parent did try to phone they would get someone saying how marvellous the girl was without realising. Would be taken in by the accent. They also managed to do it in this country before going out there.

Ask a friend to phone up and see if you both get the same answers.

Ask them if they have any photos of the families, any pictures/cards the children drew for her when she left. Can she tell you any anecdotes about the children? ie what happened when she took them to the zoo and they saw a monkey for first time? [without breaking confidentiality]

What would she do if you and DH were having a blazing row in front of her?

What does she think of nanny cameras? [I am not saying you should put them in but it would be an interesting question]

There were other ones that would wear the mums clothes, perfume, make up. They would have boyfriends over during day, this is especially if the children were young so couldn't tell on them.

It makes me cross to think about this again as I used to get annoyed that these girls were giving nannies a bad name. They just wanted an easy life and were only interested in what car they were going to get and where the family were going to take them on holiday.

In Canada there used to be a scheme for nannies that if you stayed there for 3 years you could get permenant residency, you had to keep working but not in same job. I was about to be awarded it but came home to get married instead.

To go to canada you needed a medical? [mind you mine was a farce I had to go to a Dr in Harley st. He was about 80 years and so doddery that I wouldn't go to him as a Dr. Had a chest X-ray.]
I had to pay a huge fee, I was not impressed.

I don't know if it is the same for australian girls? You could phone the australian high commision. Also you could ask them about police checks.

How long has she been here?

Did she come over because she wanted to be a nanny or was it because she wanted to see the country? It depends which is more important to her. Have you phoned her last 2 or 3 jobs?

If you phone the one before the last one you will probably not get caught out.

would they recommend her to their best friend?

Phone up local police station and ask them what you can do about checking them out.

Agencies in IMHO are just interested in making money from you. I am not sure if they will even give a refund if something goes wrong. What about if you just don't get on with the girl? do you have to get another one from them?

From the nanny point of view do agencies actually go to the homes and interview the families? If not then they do not know what they are sending young women to.

I hope this girl is a good one and that she will stay with your DD for a long time.

One more tip. If you do want them to do housework tell them at interview I had a job in canada after I had been there a while [and I did do light housework because I wanted to make it nice for when the parents came home ie vacuuming] that he mother wrote down a list of jobs she wanted me to do with how often she wanted me to do them.
I refused to: Polish all her brass ornaments and polish [by hand] the wooden floor.
I do not consider that is part of a nanny job even though I did live in. Also part of the problem was that she waited until she was going away on busisness and left a letter. I stayed there for over a year, my refusal did not cause a problem I only left them because they moved to USA and nannies are not allowed to work there. I think if you want housework what is happening to the children? I think you should always find time to talk.

If you have a live in nanny and have people for dinner and expect the nanny to help prepare the food, bath the children, and wash up afterwards please please give her some dinner and NOT just the leftovers.

BTW I would not have a nanny myself, I am now a registered childminder which I only do for friends. There are plenty of horror stories about them too.

Hope you all find the good nannies/childminders/mothers helps out there

I really have gone on a bit too long Sorry

I have changed nickname sorry Katherine is now Katie

Hi I have been a nanny for 6 yrs and am currently nannying for 4 boys.

IME the earlier you begin to look for a nanny the better. Many nannies know their job is coming to an end when the children begin school and so begin to look for a new job well in advance. If you have your nanny set up a few months before she is due to start, there will be plenty of time to get to know her and vice -versa. Any good nanny will happily spend some of their free time beforehand becoming familiar with you and your children.

With regards to housework as people have said - agree this before hand. Personally, I clean as I go , which every Nanny should be expected to go. If I put the last thing in the bin before it is full - I will empty it etc. I am not expected to do any housework but my boys will have sleep after lunch , therefore giving me an hour or so free. I will use this time to have a cup of tea and a sit down , and then spend the rest of the time before they wake dusting or hoovering or any general household duties.
The reason I do that is this ; My understanding of being a nanny is - amongst other things- to contribute to the well being and happiness of a child. I would rather mum comes home from work and gets to spend time with her sons, instead of tidying up the home. So her sons are happy. I would rather she rest after a hard day at work then tidy up when her sons go to bed - so that she does not become tired and grumpy. So her sons are happy.
Dont get me wrong - i dont clean her house from top to bottom - or clean her loo - I dont do anything I wouldnt ask a friend to do in my home.
Its just sometimes I have over an hour to myself - so why not.
I do usually find though, that nannies who are expected to clean moan about it. And those who arent will willingly help out if its not expected of them.

And a top tip for keeping a nanny ?? Dont be late home. If you think that usually you will be home by 5.30 but quite often could be slightly late - tell your nanny that the job finishes at 6pm. That way she'll never be pissed off that you're late when you come in at 5.45pm, and when you do get in at that time she'll think your great for being early!!

cuppy,

That is a brill point about advertising early enough. Like you say the best nannies will know when they have to leave and even if it their choice will have to give notice to present family.

Children, parents and Nanny will all benefit from getting to know one another.

Will prob be less stressful for mums as they will know what is happening before going back to work.

Also about coming home on time, nannies just want to be treated with respect, not like 2nd class citizen.

There are loads of great nannies/mothers helps and childminders out there.

If you are kind and fair to them you will keep them for a long time.