Having a hard time getting along with female junior staff

[Autumntimes]

I'm always ignored or even hate stared by half of the female junior staff in my firm (there are around 40 female junior staff). They get along with each other very well and I'm always left out. I do get along very well with some of them but we are not close.
I don't understand why and I have never had problems like that before. I'm starting to think if it's my race or something else.

I'm petite, like to dress well and bubbly. I'm not awkward nor rude. I don't engage in office gossips. In fact, I found out a lot of gossips only three months after when people already stopped talking about it. Since trying for four months to no avail, I become a bit more quiet at work now. Now some of these women would even ignore me on purpose after being extra friendly to me a couple of months ago. One woman made a comment about how the boss was so crude to me when I was 15 mins late one day and she thinks he must really dislike me, when the boss actually just looked slightly annoyed and didn't say anything. Some women just chose not to look at me, ever!

I don't understand. I always make sure I'm kind and friendly to everyone. I didn't brag about anything (not that I have anything to brag about). I didn't hide away from social events and made sure I got to know these people. All I want is just a Hi and how are you at the office. I started to wonder if the way I look or just myself repulse these women but I don't want to try miserably hard just to fit in. Can someone please offer some mature advice? :( thanks! Xxx

Thanks everyone's input. From the comments above it seems like cultural differences are indeed the problem here. Where I'm from, a 'cheesy grin' and being bubbly around people you just met are the ways to show you like them.

And I think it really is not nice to judge me when I'm the foreign minority who's trying to fit in. Racism does exist but a lot of people pretend it doesn't. Bullies at workplace also do exist. It's like people telling the bullied to stop judging the bully because it's all in their head

first off, I'm not judging you because you're a foreign minority, I'm judging you because you sound like a drama llama whatever your race.

Bullys exist, people not being your new BFF isn't bullying
Racists exist, people not being your new BFF isn't racism

Implying that anyone who doesn't

OP, if cheesy grins and bring bubbly with colleagues is considered the norm where you are from then I do feel for you as you are probably a bit shocked at the UK work environment.

It does read as if you are taking some of the behaviour from your colleagues a bit too personally though.

For what it's worth, a manager at work recently told me that a new member of my team has complained that I am anti-social. This is apparently because I have not smiled at her much, have not been to lunch with her (but she has observed me going to lunch with other people so decided I have something against her) and I have failed to attend several team drinks after work, including her welcome drinks. I can honestly say this woman has not been on my radar at all and I'm baffled. I have 2 small kids so my home life is full on and when I'm at work I'm just focused on the job at hand. I have very little time for small talk, welcome drinks or lunch with team members I don't know. I'm usually in back to back calls and meetings from the moment I arrive at work.

I told the manager the new woman appears to have way to much time on her hands and he agreed

Eastie - I am aghast at that complaint!!! What a pathetic, needy non-issue! I would be so aggrieved by that. Wtf does she think you have to go to lunch with her? Maybe you are a recovering alcoholic or have religious beliefs that mean you don't drink.

What happened afterwards? Did you act as though she had said nothing? When I had a complaint made about me for not being chatty enough it was so astonishing. The person wasn't on my radar really. But it had obviously been a huge deal to her.

You didn't smile at her enough???

Cheesy grin and bubbly personality heading my way and I would be heading for the exit! As you yourself have stated OP, when you find the talk boring you move on, so do other people. Get over it!

jelly - yes I was flabbergasted when my manager told me. I have barely noticed her as although we are part of the same team we have little to do with each other day to day. Our office is hectic and everyone is very busy dealing with demanding clients (big, global media company). As I said, I literally get into the office, plough through my mountains of e-mails, meetings and calls and then go home. I'm baffled really esp. regarding the lunch thing and not going to her welcome drinks - I don't even know when the drinks happened as I haven't been out after work in ages.

She has complained about other people not 'welcoming' her so at least it's not just me:) I have to admit I struggle with needy people generally and she seems very needy.

Another wondering if the OP is American! For reference OP, if people are making eye contact it's probably fine, and if they do a near-microscopic nod when they see you, you're in.

What's with the obsession with cheesy grins?

If someone kept grinning cheesily at me I'd avoid too. Or do you mean just being friendly, smiling politely etc

www.amazon.ca/Watching-English-Hidden-Rules-Behaviour/dp/0340818867

Get this book OP.

I've had an issue this week where I didn't acknowledge the needs of the office drama llama on a given occasion and have since been repeatedly told how upset they are that I've not been as friendly as usual and have been "stand offish."
They've had my line manager in a meeting, they've had me in a meeting and it's all over me refusing to pander to childish behaviour.

I'm infuriated that such a playground style drama is being played out at the expense of getting actual work done ( this person is in theory senior to me and we're both line managers) fortunately she has such form for this behaviour that nobody gives it more time than strictly necessary. I'm not her line manager so it's hard for me to tackle.

I've never had these issues with anyone else. She is universally disliked for such blatant attention seeking. Please don't be the person who creates drama over nothing.