MIL wants to look after baby when I go back to work

[Vickalyn]

Hi please let me know your thoughts on this. My son is my MIL first grandchild, she has been very full on since he was born and will be 13 weeks on Tuesday. She has already said she wants to look after him when I return to work, but I am reluctant to let her as she was diagnosed with ME years ago and has never worked.
My argument is if she can't work then should she be allowed to look after my son when I go back to work? I plan to go back 2.5 days and would probably let her have him for half a day. She wants to have him every day that I'm due to go back but I don't want her to. Also not sure how reliable she will be either? Look forward to seeing your replys.

Yes, I reckon half a day would be fine, especially if she has ME. I would try and include her and ask her to babysit sometimes too, but ensure the main child care is with a nursery.

I love my mil but had to limit her childcare to one day a week. She said she'd do every week but she's already had eight weeks off this year for various reasons. Because ds is in nursery two days mil's dats off aren't too much of a problem, I can get another nursery day or take a day off myself. If she'd done more or all if the childcare as she initially suggested I'd probably have lost my job by now!

Whatever you decide for when you go back, it is worth pre-warning her that it will be up for review at certain milestone. As your child gets older you will be able to access free childcare hours and you may want him to attend a local nursery school so that he can socialise and get to know children who might be in the same Reception class as him. You don't want to offend her by taking him off her at that stage, but equally, she might come into her own then. Our local pre-school has really short hours - 9.25-12.15. It starts after the working day and finished before anyone could reasonably be home from work. When he is 2 or 3, if you MiL can do the 8am-9.15 slot and drop off, then collect at 12.15 and have him hem for lunch until you finish work, it might be very successful.

I think thinkofhemice approach is good. I'd go with that

I think the half day idea sounds good, with nursery as the main childcare.

To those who are pointing out that the MIL loves her grandchild, and that she wants a great bond with him- well, that doesn't have to be synonymous with being his childminder! It's up to all of you to nurture good relationships with the wider family, as of course this is beneficial all round. But it's perfectly possible to do this (in fact probably easier to do this) when it's a mutually respectful process, where your Son is spending fun time with his granny, without the pressure of her having to stick to the rules, routines and hours of being his regular childminder.