If i were the ed psych, it would be like this:
Before
-I'd have met with key school staff and you, to get full background picture and views of key adults. As part of this, I should have found out about her anxiety (etc) which would allow me to prepare for it, maybe developing some appropriate ice breaking activities
- at least one observation of her in typical school situations. This would take the form of a "class observation" so that she wouldn't feel observed and her peers wouldn't know she was the focus. I would be looking for info about how she behaves and relates to others, what events/actions of others (teacher and peers) have particular effects on her, if any useful strategies are already being used, so on and so on.
Individual work-
Start very gently with explanation of who I am and what I do. This is modified to take account of child's age and understanding and any likely anxieties they may have about assessment etc. Talk about consent and confidentiality (usually b reassuring, let child know they don't have to do anything or they can just try things and then stop if they want....this is good for anxious children).
Ice breaking activities.... Like making an "all
About me" sheet, or drawing a picture or listing likes and dislikes. This helps put child st ease, feel important, and sometimes gives me useful info. I may ask questions about feelings about school, friendships, lessons at this point if child is happy to talk.
There may be a cognitive assessment. This is usually presented as a series of activities and puzzles during which she will be encouraged to try her best but not to worry about the items that are difficult- the assessment is designed to have parts which are difficult as we need to know "how far they can go" with a particular type of activity.
She should be reassured and encouraged throughout and she should be allowed to ask as many questions as she wants. She should get some explanations as to what each activity is for and how he information will help (explanations modified to her level).
It's a bit difficult to say exactly what she can expect from the assessment that is planned. You should feel absolutely entitled to get in contact with the EP beforehand to ask them to tell you so you can help prepare her. I'm a little surprised that they haven't contacted you already but different boroughs do things differently. No one will mind you asking at all and if you haven't had the opportunity to let them know about her anxieties (as described in your post) then feel free to tell them. It's all helpful info.
Don't forget, if she's too anxious to speak to the psychologist, that is important info in itself as it says a lot about her current levels of difficulty.
As an aside, I'm so glad for you that she's finally being re-assessed. Ten years is a long time.
Sorry if above reads badly or is slightly rushed- typing one handed whilst breastfeeding!