Husband in total career crisis - affecting us all.. Advice needed!

[sparksthefirst]

Hi

My oh is pretty much having a mid life career crisis and I just don't know what to do. He works in Finance and the jist of it is that he hates working for other people/the corporate machine/working for those who have a*se liked their way to top despite being pretty rubbish at their job. He's a perfectionist and doesnt suffer fools gladly!! Ultimately we'dlove our own business...probably property, but unfortunately we can't finance that. We've got a big mortgage, a 2 year old and another on way. So he feels trapped... I've suggested he doesn't do a full career change (we couldn't afford for him to retrain for example) but try and use his skills in a different way. But it's difficult as you do get shoe horned. In any case it's a constant source of. Stress and arguments in the house, he's often very down. I want to be supportive but I can't wave a magic wand over the situation. Any advice? Any other career haters that have found a way out? I also work (luckily I like my job) but will be finishing for mat leave soon (another financial stress)! Thanks xx

Can you not swap roles so he feels less trapped and can find something he's happy with?

It's all well and good saying man up but he doesn't deserve to be unhappy to keep a partner happy and financed. There has to be sharing and compromise.

That must be hard. My dh is a qualified accountant and works outside the city. He earns 60k so it's not badly paid. Maybe he needs to see someone to sort his attitude and to talk out his stress and maybe look for another role. Depending on his qualifications and interpersonal skills he could do a lot of roles. My dh holds a financial position but hopes to move into general management at some point.

I was thinking about leaving accountancy after three jobs in three years where i was miserable, my last ditch effort I'm happy as Larry despite working harder than the other ones. He might find that a move is enough to delay the inevitable,a change is as good as a rest, or he may find its all it takes to be happy again.

The point is he should at least try it what's he got to lose

If I am honest I think reading your post it is his attitude that needs to change more than his job. It is very rare for some one to arse lick their way right to the top rather they have different skills than your DH has usually excellent interpersonal skills.

That was my exact reaction to the OP too. My DH works in finance used to have a man working for him who used to say things like the OP's DH has said. He was an extremely intelligent and technically capable man but had a bad attitude which alienated his colleagues, his interpersonal skills were crap and he was a nightmare to manage because he hated taking direction from his superiors.

He got made redundant in the end.

Does he work for a large company? Is he an auditor? Just go into internal audit. Chose the right company and much less stress.