Partner fired right before I started maternity leave :(

[melibu1984]

My partner lost his job a few weeks ago, literally a couple of weeks before I started maternity leave. He was fired for gross misconduct. i am not sure of exactly what happened; all he has said is that he made a decision that went against protocol (he works in IT). They must have really liked him before that, though, as they gave him 3 months pay in lieu of notice, even though he had only been with them since November.

The dismissal has completely knocked his confidence, and he is spending most of his time playing on his Xbox instead of looking for another job! He gets angry and worried about money and our unborn son all the time (I am 40 weeks pregnant as of today), as well as worrying about his parents, who are both ill.

I really don't know how to get him to think more positively, as I think this would really help him with the job search.

I'm very worried to, but I am trying to hide it. If he doesn't find another job in the next few months, I will need to end my maternity leave early and go back to work :(

I'm also wondering if anyone has any advice on dealing with being fired for gross misconduct. What should he be telling recruiters? I think it might also be a good idea for him to try temping work in the meantime, as they are generally less fussy about previously employment issues :/

Any advice would really be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

I just wanted advice on motivating him to apply for more work

Tell him 'I'M HAVING A BABY AND WE NEED MONEY. GET A JOB.'

If that doesn't motivate him, nothing else you say will.

Only he can can motivate himself, all you can do is tell him how he is affecting you.

Linkedin is good for IT jobs.
Ensure he has a suitable summary to sell him and the recuiters will come to him.

Agree with others - does he have a,reference agreed with employer as part of his departure? Basically, will they say he was sacked if asked, or not.

Absolutely ascertain wether or not they will give him a reference, as without one he will have a harder time finding jobs.

To be honest, if this was my DP he'd be doing ANY job at all just to make sure he could still support us, and look for jobs on his actual field in his spare time. He'd happily work in McDonald's or Tescos if he needed to, no way would he sit on his arse playing x box and only applying for jobs he likes when he feels like it! Tell him to pull his finger out!

Quite apart from the fact that he should be completely honest and tell you exactly why he was sacked, he should want to tell you. If you're as close as you think you are you should be there for each other through good times and bad. Do you think he's worried about you not being able to cope with the truth? Do you have a track record of not wanting to hear bad news?

It's more likely that they didn't like him him giving him pay in lieu of working his notice - they don't want to face him and would rather he be gone. Don't assume he's lied to you. His face probably didn't fit and they've decided to let him go. Not his fault.

Mrsw - if that was the case there wouldn't be a suggestion of gross miscovduc

Mrswinkler - you do realise he was dismissed for gross misconduct?! Employers can't just create a charge of gross misconduct and get rid of someone while paying them notice just because the person's face doesn't fit!!!

I think you need to go in to speak to him and say, "Listen, you've messed up that job and if you're not careful you're going to mess up now. I'm going to give you another 12 hours to have a sulk and then I want you to get over it. On Monday morning I want you to put the Xbox away and not use it until you're in work. We're having a baby any minute now and you need to step up to the plate. I know you can do it. That's all I'm going to say now but if you don't act responsibly now, I will have to go to my mum's. I'm not putting up with your putting everything in jeopardy now."

It's more likely that they didn't like him him giving him pay in lieu of working his notice - they don't want to face him and would rather he be gone.

If you've been somewhere less than two years, you don't have many employment rights these days, and if they really wanted to, they could get rid of someone without making up something for a misconduct charge.

You need to be a bit tougher I think OP. Forget "cheerleader". Remind him of his very imminent and serious responsibilities, and temporarily remove the cable from the Xbox if necessary.

I do have some sympathy for him- the shock is difficult to deal with and he seems to be going for head in sand approach.
You do need to get him to check a couple of things- will his reference refer to gross misconduct or just say he didn't pass his probation? can he get some temping/contractual work.