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Original poster

Hate New Job

22 replies

InspRemorse · 24/04/2016 20:16

I've taken a temp promotion at work, I've been in this new role for a week and I could cry (actually nearly have) it's just not what I was expecting and I have resigned myself to fact I'm going to be miserable for the next year, doing work way below my pay level or being expected to produce miracles on little to no training (yes it's both ends of the spectrum) they know my specialist areas and this is not it, I'm so upset, but I don't want to cause a fuss and it's going to be awkward having the WTF is this talk. I'm trying to think of ways I can be legitimately of work cause the thought of work is making me so depressed.

I guess my only choice is asking if I can return early... Been at the company a long time so that isn't an issue, just seem to get choruses of "you haven't given it chance" but when you know you know, work shouldn't make me feel like this, it's abnormal and I'm not prepared to live life like this.
Am I being a baby?

OP posts:

BeBe32 · 24/04/2016 20:39

Hello

I don't have much advice but as you will see from my thread about leaving a job soon after starting it, I really sympathise. It's horrible to feel so stressed. I have spent all weekend dreading going to work tomorrow and it's a horrible way to feel. My job is permanent so I did thing when I first saw this thread that at least it is temporary but actually a year is a long time to be so unhappy. I most definitely don't think you're being baby and if you feel you can talk to your manager then I don't see why you shouldn't. If I was in your situation I think I would. I hope things get better for you.

xxx

MagpieCursedTea · 24/04/2016 20:51

I've been in a similar position to you, I was pushed into a secondment in a service I didn't want to be in then kept there with a promotion into a stressful role. I tried to stick it out but had a bit of a breakdown and ended up in tears on the phone to my old manager who helped me return to my original role. He told me that no job was worth making me that miserable and he was right!
If you can, then speak to your managers about it and see if there's anything you can do to feel more comfortable in your role. If it doesn't work out though, then see if you can go back. Work is too big a part of your life to spend the whole time feeling miserable.

mm2016 · 24/04/2016 21:27

I've worked in a job where I've been really miserable. Cried at my desk. Misery will cause you stress will cause you sickness and it will spread into the home. You need to talk to someone off record if need be, to go through your options. To let them know how you feel. No one can mind read and if you find the right person in your workplace to talk to, that's a step in the right direction. Hating my job started a spiral. Changing my job brought me back up and I love Mondays again. Salary is lower but happiness is higher. Don't let it bring you down and please do talk to someone.

BeBe32 · 25/04/2016 07:11

Some good advice from people here. I have just had another sleepless night dreading today. My new job is making me ill, I'm so miserable but everybody else seems to think that my new job is great, I feel like I must be crazy! Can I just ask the people who have replied - how did you approach explaining the fact that you were leaving to your managers? I don't think that my manager has any idea that I am miserable and if I were to leave I just don't know how I would explain I was leaving so soon and causing such inconvenience. I don't want people to hate me, I feel like I have no one to talk to.

OP I really hope the replies above have helped, good luck, hope it works out.

Original poster

InspRemorse · 25/04/2016 12:58

Hi guys,

Thanks for all your responses it's very much appreciated. I'm going to have a word with a friend at work who is quite a senior person at the company to see what she thinks. I'm sick of everyone else (bar here) not understanding and telling me it's not been long enough - when you're unhappy everything feels like forever.

Bebe32 totally there with you on the sleepless night, I'm currently clock watching which is bad I know, just want to get home - once ive spoken to my colleague I'll be able to figure out how to raise that awkward convo with new boss

OP posts:

FastWindow · 25/04/2016 13:02

I feel with you. Am in the same sinking boat and have just returned from a visit to the docs. He's signed me off. Im going to try to find some oars and get my sanity back. Its not worth the pain- see a doctor and do not worry about inconveniencing people. Look after number one, most importantly. Hope you can find some solution xx

barkinginessex · 25/04/2016 13:28

No advice OP but I'm in a very similar position. I've been temporarily promoted for 12 months. 1 month in and I feel like I've made a big mistake. I don't seem to have gelled well with the team and I feel quite uncomfortable around my managers as they are quite cold. I don't know what to do, desperately looking for something else (civil service so easier to move around than in private sector). Don't think I could go back to old job as they've found a replacement and I would feel so embarrassed.
Sorry to hijack! I hope you sort something out

BeBe32 · 25/04/2016 18:22

So sorry to hear so many people are experiencing this. I've just got back from work and feeling near tears, feel like I'm sinking a bit.

OP hope you got on ok?

FastWindow · 26/04/2016 02:07

BeBe

Sinking feelings and near tears are not normal at the end of a working day. Are you ok?

BeBe32 · 26/04/2016 07:00

FastWindow thank you for your message. Last night was another sleepless night. I just dread going in each day. I feel like I'm not myself anymore, in my old job I used to look forward to going in and working with lovely people but now I just feel stressed and worried all the time. I can't even say that the people I work with are horrible or anything and I know other people think it's a good career move but the job is just not a good fit for me. I hate feeling like this.

greengreenten · 26/04/2016 07:14

Can I put the flip side. I'm a stressy person and know the sleepless night and Sunday dread well (see my other thread only this Sunday).

I changed jobs around 18 months ago and thought I'd made a huge mistake for around 6 months. I'd gone from a job where I understood the processes and requirements from the bottom up to a more senior role where I couldn't even remember anyone's name. I felt totally at sea and next to useless, used to forget everything I was told. Awful and many tears followed and calls to the recruitment agency asking what I should do. Hated it.

Now I feel fine and like the job is mine and my colleagues are my workmates . I think I was expecting my old level of competency and ease but I had to be patient for it. What I'm saying is that the change in work and demands may settle and you may become more skilled and comfortable in time but that's exactly what it needs sometimes... time.

Other advice here to speak to management is of course what you need to do, ask for support and maybe more money as you could always start looking around for alternative work couldn't you.

Work stress is awful and makes you feel so low. It's not a failing though. Your bosses would not want you to feel like you do and want to know.
All the best!! Really.

Worcestersource · 26/04/2016 07:20

I moved to a sideways internal role and it was awful. I felt a bad fit and was subjected to bullying behaviours from most of the team. It was bad for 2-3 months and I thought I'd made a big mistake but could not go back to my old team. Suddenly everyone is now being really nice and friendly and I feel like I fit in much better but I won't forget how they made me feel. It is hard but as you have only been there a week perhaps you need to give it a little more time. I don't think I will stay where I am long term but it I am gaining useful knowledge which will help for future roles.

FastWindow · 26/04/2016 14:46

I hope this thread has a positive outcome for everyone. First step is realising sonethings gotta give. Ive realised, its not going to be me. Ive suffered from depression before and i am not letting a flipping job pull me back there, no way.

BeBe32 · 27/04/2016 07:04

FastWindow I have also suffered with depression and anxiety and a few years ago following a terrible bullying experience at work I was signed off for a long time. I left that job and started the job in my previous department. My time there was the best and most positive I have felt. Now since starting this job my anxiety is back full force and I am back on antidepressants (which haven't made a difference anyway). I feel like I'm not myself anymore.

FastWindow · 28/04/2016 01:12

Hi Bebe i once had the CEO of the entire company drop in on a team meeting i was presenting (we had to take it in turns, im not that person at all!)

But she said this. No job is more important than your life. If you arent happy, don't do this, here. It's not life or death- it's only work.

She was a very cool lady. I left soon after , because the commute was killing me (hour plus on motorways each way, five days week) but she gave me a belief that it was all going to be okay. To make the move, i mean.

It cant be okay to have to take ADs to continue in your current position.

Tillysmum99 · 30/04/2016 10:52

So sorry to hear you are having such a hard time . I think you are right to confide in your friend and because it is a secondment you may be able to move back into your old role. I changed jobs recently and have discovered that my new job is not the role or company that was sold to me at my interview. I decrease going in and I am seriously considering looking for something else, but I am worried it will affect my CV by being there such a short time. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Tillysmum99 · 30/04/2016 10:52

Sorry - Dread going in

slgsue1979 · 30/04/2016 13:25

That feeling of dread is horrible. I am due in to work tomorrow and have already burst into tears. I don't want to go, I hate being there. It's not the job it's the atmosphere and I feel so lonely when I am there and these feelings bring themselves home with you and affect everyone.

slgsue1979 · 30/04/2016 13:27

Tillysmum I have only been in my job 5 months and have started to apply for new jobs. I am lucky that I went to a completely different career so can say that this isn't for me x

FastWindow · 30/04/2016 13:33

tilly I think the short time in the job is fully explainable at interview, you tell them the position wasn't correctly advertised and then you ask lots of detailed questions to show you intend to be very sure the next role is a good fit.

Tillysmum99 · 30/04/2016 14:38

Thank you Fast, tbh I am not even sure the job/sector is for me but I feel that I have invested time and money training for it I should keep going. I am considering going to counselling to figure out where I should go with my career. I am just starting to build my career path so I really would like to get on the right one now.

BeBe32 · 14/05/2016 14:36

I haven't been able to access this site for a bit due to laptop problems so I just wanted to see how everyone is doing, hope you are all getting on ok?

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