How do working mums cope???

[Soulfly]

I am looking to go back to work nad actually i am quite looking forward to it. My dd is 5 at school and i have a ds who is 4 is at nursery but starts school in september. I have an application form for a full timme position, 9-5 which i didn't think the hours were too bad as hubby works shifts and i am sure we#d be able to sort something out too. I am just wondering about all those mothers out there who work full or even part time, how do you cope with kids, housework, working. Do you feel you loose timme with the kids? Do you feel guilty? I am have mixed emotions about it. I want to go back to work, but i don't know how it will effect my children. Any advice??

Have also only skimmed this thread but agree that it is difficult to fit everything in. We have two ds's, aged 6 and 3, and I work fulltime. Dh is in investment banking in the City so not seen much during daylight hours (or indeed many dark hours)so the vast majority of childcare, housework, shopping seems to fall on me. We have in-laws nearby who sadly are pretty useless at helping out so I only rely on them in absolute emergencies and otherwise I just accept that whatever needs to be done falls on us or gets paid for!

We have a live-out nanny and even though she is cheaper than many others, it still costs me a small fortune and means I can't afford a cleaner. So I do get crabby when I seem to be permanently ironing or washing the kitchen floor at 11 p.m.!

Would echo those who say you have to be very organised - I do shower in the mornings but try to do everything else the night before, leaving out the kids clothes, my work clothes, sorting out lunch, swim things, sponsorship money etc as there is just NO time for anything extra in the mornings. I am also lucky that our nanny is willing to do some extra bits like putting on loads of washing which are not strictly child-related, running to the post office, etc. Ds2 is also an enthusiastic, but somewhat haphazard "cleaner" so quite a bit gets done as she attempts to clean up after his "dusting" and "mopping". Grocery shopping - and lots of other shopping - gets done on-line and although I really like the house to be clean, I have just had to accept that, in order to keep doing my job which I really enjoy, something has to give!

I work part time, 3 days a week (Tues-Thursday) My hours are 8:30am to 3:30pm (4:30pm one day a week), and as a teacher I bring work home too - planning, reports, marking, etc.

DD is just 2 and attends a day nursery 2 days a week (from 8am) and goes to MIL the other day.

A typical day for us is:

6:30am - my alarm goes off and get up and shower and dress
6:50am - Dh gets up, I go and wake up DD
6:55am - Breakfast for us all, then DH gets Dd dressed whilst I sort bags
7:20am - leave for work/nursery in car
8:00am - arrive at nursery/MILs, leave DD there
8:20am - arrive at work for day

3:30pm (sometimes later) - leave work, collect DD and go home, play with DD, hear about her day, etc.
5:30pm - start getting dinner ready
6:15pm - DH gets in from work
6:30pm - dinner together, play with Dd after
7:00pm - DH baths DD
7:20pm - bed time routine (story, drink, sleep by 7:30pm)

The evening is then ours and we normally go to bed just after 10pm, read for a bit and asleep by about 11pm.

In the evenings on a work day I often work for a while after DD is in bed, as well as using MN!!!

Housework is done by both me and Dh at the weekends - we share it pretty well. He does all the ironing during the week. I do all the cooking/food shopping during the week.

On my 2 days off I rarely do school work at all. It is supposed to be me and DD's day so we normally go out and abut doing things together. In a morning I may sometimes do little bits of houseowkr - maybe sweep floor, wipe kitchen or bathroom down, but that's it.

i'm afraid I've got to disagree that IME working outside the home is easier than being a SAHM.
I have worked full time, part time, and been a SAHM.
But for me the it was and is all about the changing requirements of my children and DH's job.
I could have written Thomcats post when I had just one DD pre-school. Life becomes much more complicated when they go to school. The day s more formal thus they are more tired. They have at least a reading book to be done in reception and this increases as they go up the school. School holidays are a nightmare for childcare and also they do get tired and mine didn't want to go to play club activities type things, she just wanted to chill at home.
I now work part time and find my works days quite stressed. I definatly feel as though the DD's get short shift on those particular days. DH works fairly late and I wouldn't dream of complaining as he earns the lion share of our income. I often feel that I'm not doing anything well on my work days. Our days are quite long though, we have to leave the house by 8am and are not back until 5.50/6pm ish. My time as a SAHM with a baby and a pre-school child at part time nursery were a doddle by comparison.
But this is just my experience.

Oh no Sonnet - is it going to get much worse!!!!
Pants and bum! Was just getting used to this speed! Now I know the whilwind will get faster and more turbulent.

btw - i would agree that i don't think being a working mum is easy. No way. You have to do everything a lot faster when you get up and get in and you have to make weekends count more. I have a semi-demanding job, have to try and switch off when around Lottie, rush to suipermarket in snatched lunchbreaks, feel bad about arranging hospital appointments on phone at work etc, life is having to organised all the time or things slip and it's all a constant rush and a constant gamne of juggling.

All that said I'm not complaining I just really wouldn't call it being a working mum easy! far bloody from it!

LOL - Know what you mean Thomcat - you dare not stop "organising" in case life collapses around you - LOL
I remember a few years ago when I had just returned to work with DD1 and I asked an "expreienced" mother of a toddler "oh but I bet it gets easier.." her response was to look a bit uncomfortable and say "erm, well not exactly easier, just different" .....
But it does make life fun and I can never say I'm board!!, and yes, you do "value" the time you get to spend with your children!.
I have a very good friend who has 4 children ( age 8 to 1 year). She is a full time SAHM and has to be super organised to get them to al the right places at the right time etc etc BUTthe sad thing is that she is dreading half term - where there's me with some time booked off work ( only worj=king 1 day next week)so so looking forward to sepnding time with my girls!! ( NOt saying that all SAHM dread the hols - I'm just talking about this particular person!!)

Hi Soulfly

I think everyone is different. The only way I cope is with a fabulous nanny and a great cleaner. I also am a big fan of microwavable meals. I didn't feel guilty at all because that's my personality - everyone is different. I enjoy being a mum and spending time with my kids, but I don't enjoy doing it all the time without a career. I would advise that you just try to figure out what works best for you. If you do go back to work, be sure to get good reliable help. Don't insist on doing everything yourself. I think that the mums who try to 'do it all' are the ones who have a really hard time.

HTH

Batters, ha ha You just made me laugh out loud. Yeah, right. When the newsletter mentioning it came I nearly wrote to them telling them that we would NOT be walking to school and why. Backed up with stats of course and explaining how we were really trying to follow the government line because we were managing to incorporate a mother who worked with a parent at home as well, plus, we recycle!...but I didn't have time

Thank you so much all for all your advice and insperation. I know working is gonna be hard, as well as housework, kids etc etc. But my kids have had me at home for the last 5 years, which is what i wanted. But i just have this niggle in me that i want to do something else, i do get abit bored at home especially when they are at school and nursery. I have a husband, so i won't be completely on my own, and he'll have to share the burden of housework and childcare as before its all been on me.
I think our standard of life will improve because we'll have more money and money has been abig issue in our house or the lack of money. We will be able to say yes we can go out because we have money. As before its like' oh i don't think we can afford it this month.' And counting the penny jar at the end of the month before he gets paid. So if that respect i think things will improve.

But of course i haven't got the job yet so we'll have to see if i get an interview and if i will be lucky enought to get offered it, which i hope i will. fingers crossed.