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Original poster

Getting Confidence back after Job Rejection

27 replies

majormoo · 29/02/2016 10:50

Having been a stay at home parent for years, I has my first interview for a decade last week. I was pleased to get it as I had only done a few applications. I told myself it would be good experience and at least I know my application forms are on the right track. However, I feel really deflated as have just found out I didn't get it. So despite convincing myself it would be good experience either way, I am gutted as I really wanted it. The woman said she was arguing for two positions but budgets wouldn't allow it. The candidate who got the job has more experience (not difficult when I have been at home for years!). She said the interview was great. I spent ages researching the company, reading everything I could and now feel like I have wasted my time and am very sorry for myself. I have three application forms to complete this week so it's not like there is nothing else out there so I know I just need to crack on and get off mumsnet!
So any advice on getting back to it. I have been out of the game so long it has made me over sensitive. I don't know if it would have been better if she hadn't said I would be a good fit for the company. The thing is now I don't really have any constructive criticism to work on-just the glaring job gap that I am trying to fill

OP posts:

MissTriggs · 29/02/2016 20:51

The interview will help, keep at it

TomTomKitten · 01/03/2016 08:39

You pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get on with it.

Expecting to get a job after only one interview is setting yourself up for a fall. i have tons of experience and contract a lot. My mantra is that you only need one job so if there isn't a lot available you keep plugging away until the right thing pops up. People think i am super successful in finding work but the reality is I keep going and receive quite a few rejections.

Also, having seen things from the employer's perspective there are loads of reasons why people don't get jobs ranging from employers pratting about and changing their minds/pulling the job to missing out to another candidate by a cat's whisker.

Pat yourself on the back for getting an interview. Maybe it wasn't a great job anyway and something much better is just around the corner.

Best of luck!

Movingonmymind · 02/03/2016 21:01

Agree, dust yourself off! You got the interview so are therefore employable in a potential employer's eyes. Probably not seen as a glaring gap or they wouldn't have wasted their time interviewing you, simply that the other candidate was better for whatever reason. Who knows? May be an internal candidate, whatever, take courage from the fact got this one, put it down to experience and this interview practice will have really helped you for the next time, honestly. Keep going and good luck!

HungoverLikeaSpunMoorhenChick · 02/03/2016 21:03

Sucks doesn't it. I've just not got an interview for a job I really wanted.
All I can do is remind myself that just because I wasn't right for this job, it doesn't mean that I'm not right for a different job.

Good luck!

MissTriggs · 02/03/2016 21:57

I think I had six unsuccessful interviews before getting my first job......

jclm · 03/03/2016 12:23

I have had 9 interviews, 7 unsuccessful. I would say it takes me a good month or so to recover from the interview and rejection, because an interview requires so much prep and emotional energy. Be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve! :-)

Original poster

majormoo · 03/03/2016 14:48

Thanks for all the replies. Have dusted myself down. Have another interview next week for another job so at least my applications are ok. God the anxiety though-don't think my nerves can take it. Have to do a job related test for this one. Hoping it is something practical as I haven't done an exam since 1995!!

OP posts:

TomTomKitten · 03/03/2016 21:07

Another interview is great. Good for you.

Be kind to yourself and lots of positive talk between now and then. There is no reason why shouldn't get the job. I don't beat myself up about not getting jobs as employers always know who they are looking for and sometimes that's just not me! It's no big deal.

Very best of luck. Let us know how you get on.

MissTriggs · 04/03/2016 16:36

I've just had an interview too - my first proper one in years.

I had to keep talking about the children to explain career decisions I had made. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing but I've come to realise that it's impossible to explain my life without referring to them (complete with hand signals to indicate their height at the time I decided to work more hours...).

puzzledleopard · 07/03/2016 12:35

I came on to make a thread pretty much the same.

though I wish I could get to the point you have, I've had no interviews. I feel like I've applied for loads and put loads of effort a few I have applied for the other day were around 30 page mark and one was 50 pages long! with role play. I have a feeling they have so many people apply that if they do a really long application it will weed out the people that will think sod that!

I feel so low and sensitive. I had someone scout me the other day she phoned up saying although I had been out of work I seemed the right person for the job went through my Cv was really nice about me being out of work and working for myself (to which she did exactly the same job so understands I have to be organised ect) Then she said she could see me fitting in and basically it's pretty much minimum wage would I be happy to accept minimum? to which I am happy to accept as I'm trying to work my way up again. To then be deflated by her saying actually it might be too high paced for me to rush back into since I've been out of work so long and did she want her to put me forwards or not to which I replied Yes!. She is the person before the company has their ultimate decision let them decide if they want me or not rather than her cutting my chance short.

They want someone with experience who hasn't been out of work a long time so they can be used to a high paced environment but it made me question if someone was in work and had the experience why they would except minimum wage I think they are being slightly unrealistic and is more likely to get someone like me getting back into work.

I was just really annoyed how she built it up and it was all great to knock me to the floor the same with the you're a good fit for the company comment you got.

I wish you luck in finding something too x

MissTriggs · 07/03/2016 20:38

That" pace" issue is interesting....
can you tell us more about the kind of work?

Original poster

majormoo · 08/03/2016 16:36

Puzzle the rejection feeling is horrible isn't it? I think people's advice here is good-we just have to keep ploughing on despite the confidence knocks. Regards pay, I am looking at it from the perspective that any pay is good at the moment as I do quite a bit of volunteering (have you tried that by the way as I am assuming that is helping me get to the interview stage)
Onwards and upwards-it is a real slog.
I am far less nervous about my interview tomorrow than I was about the other one so taking that as a positive.

OP posts:

Headofthehive55 · 09/03/2016 18:41

It's so helpful to read others experiences.
I got rejected last week for the job I'm currently doing - and have been nominated for an award for. I'd originally been asked if I'd like to transfer...then it was can you fill in an application form them it's an interview then it's a no! Apparently I'm good at the job but not the interview!

I feel really low about it. There are so few jobs I can do in the nhs as a nurse due to childcare restrictions and I'm looking at becoming enemployed. I've cried all week.

pippistrelle · 23/03/2016 14:02

God, that's harsh, Headofthehive - and seems pretty unjustifiable. Hope things are looking up. And for other people on the thread too. Would be good to hear how you're getting on. I hope some have had positive news now.

I'm hoping to reactivate this thread a little as I'm in a similar position. Currently, job hunting after three years out of paid work. I've had three interviews so far - well, two and a half really as I left part way through interview number three having decided that it really, really wasn't for me. That was strangely empowering actually.

So, interview number 4 tomorrow, and I'm feeling pretty positive although nervous about it as it calls for a specific set of skills and knowledge that I don't think too many people will have. My worry about it is that it's crafted in such a specific way that they already have someone in mind, and I'm only there to make up the numbers. Clearly, there's nothing I can do about that, so I'll just have to turn up and do what I can.

In an actual work situation I'm calm and confident but interviews just seem to send me into a slightly panicky tailspin.

Headofthehive55 · 25/03/2016 19:49

How did it go pip ? I got asked to apply for the job above in the same department but less certain about that.

Awholelottanosy · 25/03/2016 19:55

I'm in a similar position, not worked for a while as I got made redundant and then ended up caring for my elderly dad who had dementia. Had a good job before but not much confidence now as not worked for a few years. Maybe we could all support each other with this? Getting back into the workforce is bloody hard!

pippistrelle · 25/03/2016 20:23

Mutual support sounds like a great idea, Awholelotta, because, you're right, it is bloody hard. In theory, I knew it would be, but knowing it is one thing, actually doing it is another, and it does sap the confidence.

Anything in the pipeline for you, or have you just started looking around?

Interview was okay, I think, Headofthehive, and thank you for asking. It was pretty intense and went on for an hour and a half. I didn't dry up at any point and that was my biggest fear but I didn't exactly come out punching the air and thinking 'it's in the bag'. But they told me they had others to interview next week at the earliest (not even set up yet!) so I won't hear anything for at least a week. And even then it will only be to see if I'm called for a second interview. I fear I'm at a disadvantage by being interviewed so much before the others. On the other hand, they might forget the bits where I waffled so much that I nearly forgot the question!

Being asked to apply for something is a really good sign, Headofthehive. They wouldn't think of asking you if they thought you'd be anything but excellent in the role.

pippistrelle · 25/03/2016 20:36

Also, Headofthehive, it may be that they had you in mind for this job all along. They knew this was coming up, and that's why you didn't get the one you actually have experience of.

Awholelottanosy · 25/03/2016 20:59

head that really sucks that you didn't get the job that you are actually already doing! Can't get my head around that.

Re my job situation, I used to work for a charity in London but I'm now in the West Midlands where there are much fewer job opportunities. I don't find many things I am qualified for so trying to find a new direction but it's hard, especially as I haven't worked for a long time!

MashesToPashes · 25/03/2016 21:09

I got rejected last week for the job I'm currently doing.

Pants isn't it, happened to me a few weeks ago. As a sort of positive it's pushed me sit down and have a proper think about a future somewhere else.

Awholelottanosy · 25/03/2016 21:22

It's so hard not to take it personally isn't it? I think you have to try and be philosophical about it. I hate interviews, I don't think I come across very well in them at all and they're not even a v good way of assessing how someone will be any good in a job!

In my last position, we had to interview quite a few pp for jobs and it was interesting being on the other side. It's very stressful as you have to sum up pp very quickly and try and decide if they would fit in the organisation. As well as if you think pp would get on with them. I've even interviewed pp I've worked with and I was amazed how nervous they were! So I do think interviewers take this into consideration but if you can project confidence it does help...!

pippistrelle · 25/03/2016 21:55

I agree that interviews are a poor way to assess how well someone will do the job or fit in. And you do sometimes encounter people who are great at interviews but that doesn't necessarily translate into being any good in the work place. I particularly hate the competency based interview: it seems designed to favour those well able to blow their own trumpet. Probably not something that comes naturally to many women returning to work after some sort of career break. A friend of mine in HR says the secret is not to worry about sounding like 'a big-headed wanker'.

Headofthehive55 · 26/03/2016 07:52

Apparently I was too confident I could do the role. Well you'd think I would be...I had done it all day and the day before, the day after...

I think interviews are poor at deciding who should get the job.

Awholelottanosy · 26/03/2016 09:29

"too confident"? That's ridiculous! God, I'd have been fuming. Hope something better comes up for you.

Original poster

majormoo · 26/03/2016 09:38

Headofthehive that sounds tough but like someone else said hopefully they had you in mind for the other role all along.

Pip good luck-the waiting is horrible.

I feel like tempting fate writing it but I have been offered a part time job. Having been turned down from my first two job interviews I wasn't feeling very confident about the third but it must have gone better than I thought. Haven't signed contract yet but I know they have contacted referees and security checks underway so fingers crossed. It won't exactly pay for holidays in Florida next year but it is a start. As it works out this is the best job of the three for working around childcare so am pleased about that.

Interviews are so stressful and the preparation so time consuming. What a process

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