Does everyone have a job once the last child has started primary school?

[Ellaroo]

Just wondering (as don't have to face this one for a couple of years yet)...but I know that once all my children are at primary school I will still want to pick them up from and drop them off at school and be there full-time in the holidays and for any inset days...so my questions are:

Can you do this and fit in a job still?
What job do you do that allows you to do this?
Do you feel/or feel that others view you as self-indulgent/lazy if you want to do this and can't find a job that fits into school hours?

Would love to hear anyone's opinions on this.

when ONLY !! child starts school (same as you couple of years to go)..i hope to either re-train for work to fit the school schedule, er.. teacher is all i can think of though not the only reason! will be exploring that soon..

My self employed work life before ds is not an option due to late & pressurised hours and i dont mind, ready for change; am thinking of some other self employed options (sort of artsy background you could say but need to revamp skills) i find it big problem too as i have to and want to be there, no family around to help w/ pick ups drop offs and the rest...
have you any ideas for yourself?

Oh just cast your eyes over this thread

here

Suzycreamcheese, think we are in a very much similar situation - I suppose I am thinking about this now so that if it is something that I need to retrain for I could perhaps fit it in now (perhaps an evening course or something)...the only options that I can think of would combine being self-employed and doing something reasonably creative...the only thing is that nothing I have thought of would have the potential to bring in anything over about £3000 a year (which would be nice in terms of paying for a few holidays, but isn't really contributing very much to the family). And that's the bit I'm not sure about - I want to be there for them at all the important times, but also don't want for them to grow up (and dh) not respecting me if it's obvious I've done little to contribute financially during their school years. Dh wants me to be there to pick them up and drop them off too...but once they're at school (and not under 5) I just wonder if this arrangement ends up making you feel terribly dull and housewifey.

if you read the thread from mummydear amongst it all they say at one point its our self esteem and mental health at risk if we dont contribute to society by paying taxes..!!
hey, after this child raising lark we should be allowed a few years of gentle recovery w/ state sponsored compulsory daily foot massages imo

staying at home can i think it can be as dull / housewifey as you make it though; i feel i sort of need to work once school starts (excuse not to gone/ new start all round) but lots of practical issues need aaddressing; I haven't even thought about projected income (!) just know whatever will be welcome in the coffers..a few holidays are always welcome better than not imo..
the kids are more likely to remember that you were around to talk, play etc than scoff at your financial contribution ..how would they know!?

i want to get back to you on this, i seriously need early night though, up to 3.30 last night-own fault seasonally related - and look like a panda! hope am making some sense to you even if its in a sleep deprived kind of way..
will get back on this, good to have someone to talk about this...nighty night

i have always worked,whist my 3 were little i worked part time in the evening to fit in with my partners work commitments,but found this arrangement mean't that i had no time with my partner. so then i opted for working through the night at m&s this was great as i got paid good money for partime hours but found the lack of sleep was doing me no good what so ever. so i started up my own business,working from home and three years down the line it is still going very well, i now have a manager who runs it day to day for me and all i do is the book keeping and the wages, i have a lot of time on my hands and i find it very lonely i really miss the social life that going to work brings but i would say that is the only down side of working from home. i also have an ebay business that brings in good money, i'm looking into starting up a consignment ebay business where i will sell goods for local business and charities and i will take a % of items sold this is very big in america and is just starting to happen in the uk, so would be a good time to start something like this off. i have brought a great book from amazon that gives you all the info and formats for letters, flyers and forms it has everything that you need to get you started on a consignment business. please feel free to email me if you require any advice or information, info at thelocalpage dot com

Have you thought about working as a TA in a school? You'd probably earn somewhere around £10,000 a year, more if you did some training, and you can usually work out your hours to give you time to drop off & pick up ypour own kids, even if you're not working at their school

My youngest is just 10 and I really don't know how people manage to fit in "proper" jobs around school unless they have childcare or lots of tame relations to help out. My DD ended up having 2 weeks off ill out of the last term, in addition to that there must have been another week's worth of medical type appointments for her and older sister, then add on the school assemblies, sister's prize giving, Christmas concert and there you are - a nightmare. I have been working some evenings at a local theatre but have found that really hard because it finishes so late and I am not an evening person. I am fortunate in that anything I earn is a bonus and not essential to the family income but I do feel it is easy just to become a housewife and spend hours on the internet!

I always worked full time but I think being a stay at home parent of under 5 sis really hard work. Not sure how anyone is prepared to do it and if they do do it the least their other half should give them is another 5 years without having to work to make up for those first 5 years as it were. Managing a house and children is a job. It's not one I would choose with low status, no pay, little appreciation and the huge finnacnail risks you and your children run if you put al lyour eggs in the husband basket who then skips off abroad in 3 years time with a much younger woman and leaves you desitute but if you do choose that very risky route and enjoy financial dependence on a man which does give some women good feelings then try to keep it up once they're at school too so at least you get some free time after all those early hard years of work.

I don't really get all this stuff about being financially dependent on a man and all that. For goodness sake, it's not just any man it's your DH/DP and you are a team surely? He brings in some money and you put your heart and soul into bringing up your children, the most important job ever.

RE being boring and housewifey, I agree with whoever said it's up to you - you could be doing any number of exciting things in that time. I am watching this thread to see what good money earning ideas come up.

Some women don't like that financial reliance on a man. Some men after divorce fail to keep the same principles and think the money is theirs and conveniently forget her domestic contribution before the team broke up so it's risky.

Some men again are happy to stay at home and let their wife earn the money. Just depends on the couple. It probably works best when one is happy at home and the other at work. When one resents the other's life then it's a problem. Quite a lot of men would love to be at home but their wives deny them the choice. Other women aren't really allowed to work, too much family and husband pressure to stay at home and failure by their other half to share chores, too much sexism domestically to make it worth her while.

I don't work for the independence from Dh. I would be so bored at home full time. When Ds2 goes to school I will work full time. DH and I work shifts so can manage childcare with some help from my parents. I cannot fathom what people do when their kids are at school.

I returned to teaching when my last one started school.

I am doing it so that I can educate my children privately (or at least contribute to their lunches, etc.)

lol at boring and housewifely

in the near final analysis its a job. the hardest job i've ever done (in the very final analysis it isn't a job but...anyway)

staying at home with my two has seriously improved me as a person. i am way more patient and focused, much better at managing time and so on. I have lots of new skills-boring housewifelt stuff like knitting, cooking etc but still, i didnt have these before, am partway through an OU chemistry degree. i have more, and better, friends and am far less up my own arse.

but...you get out what you put in I guess.

And it depends on your personality. It's a good idea to know yourself. I like tasks completed which don't have to be redone. That is the complete opposite of life with children. I love having 5 children and it's wrong when people suggest working parents somehow opt out or don't spend time with them because you do, you spend hours with them despite work but I don'thave the right personality to have been the best person to be with them all day when they were under 5.

We were talking about children this week on holiday. The oldest says she doesn't want children (she's brilliant with them, worked with them a lot and is known to be good - hope she'll change her mind), next one would love a baby, wants 3. Oldest boy (18) next one down wants 2. One of the twins want 5 or 7 he said. I said he might have trouble finding a wife with the same view and the other one wants 5 he says.

What do people do who work full time when children go to school? Varies but masses of parents manage it. Some schools have after school club to 6pm each night. A lot of parents around here have a live in au pair which isn't that expensive and they do 5 hours a day which is enough to do a school pick up, tea, homework supervision, bath but you need a spare room and be prepared to have someone live in. I never have. Others use relatives or a child minder. I advertised for someone in the local paper and she picks them up from school most days and brings them back here and looks after them until 6.30. A lot of fathers leave work early if they can to collect children these days. It is not a mother's issue and never should be. Ensure it is not in your household as a new year resolution. Children have two parents who are both responsible for their care, for paying for it and managing it and arranging it. Mothers who take that job on do women and their daughters down. There's almost a duty to ensure men take this role and that you never criticise them for their way of doing it which may be different from your way but so what - your way may be worse than theirs. Be aware you are not always right. Humility.

I tried going back to work but if you can't get the childcare right it just isn't worth it. Now I'm a stay-at-home mum again and really appreciate it.

I have this problem at the moment. I can't get a job because it would not be financially worth it for us in the holidays. Plus, I don't want someone else to look after ds for weeks at a time.

Luckily, my sister works for a man who is independent and might need someone occasionally, between the hours of 10am and 2pm. He understands that I would need to be available for ds in the holidays and that I might have to let him down at short notice if ds is ill. Because it is my sister, she knows how I would work and that I could be trusted to work under my own initiative. The only drawback with flexibility of this kind is the pay!

Anyway, jobs/employers of this sort are rare and it usually helps to have someone in the right place at the right time IYKWIM!

I planned my return to teaching to co incide with dd starting school thinking I oould gradually increase from two to fivedays a week, I currently do three and dd is in reception and it is a nightmare even though in many ways I am luckier than most as mostof the school holidays are covered and Ican usually get an afternoon off wihtout loosing pay to see an assembly.

I cannot take dd to school even if I take her to breakfast club as I do not drive so dropping her at breakfast club would mean me not getting to work until gone half eight. IN parctice at the moment I get in at 6 in the moring and dp drops dd at mums at 7 and then she takes her to school, I can then usually be away to collecther from after school club.

But working part time means that I am frowned upon if I ahve to take any time off for dd being ill. I am also so knackered by the time I get home from work thatdd does not get the attention she needs and deserves and I won't even mention the state of the house.

I am attempting to resolve this by having a live in aupair start in January, who can take dd to school rather than dp getting her up at just gone six everydayor sdmetimes taking her still asleep in the car to mums.

If I could mentally and financially survive without working I would do but I am not that unselfish, I love my career and I love some financial freedom. After paying for the aupair and my pension at the moment I ahve about £10K to add to the family income which is much needed.

I really don;t think that self indulgent or lazy are words thata re applicable here at all, I could argue for example that I am being self indulgent by having a job that demands so much of me and having an aupair that does what dp and I should do. But there is no point, you need to do what works for your fanily and often thatis what makes you happiest.

It's harder at home than a work, I've always thought so not lazy to be home at all.

An aawful lot of these posts and issues comes down to money. So make your female teenagers be hedge fund managers, actuaries, investment bankers, brokers, lawyers, accountants and then most of these problems of is it worth working, I have so much housework to do as well etc completely disappear because they can then simply afford the help they need. It all comes back to money in some ways if you want to work, justify working and want the economics to work well.

Message withdrawn

Agree to a point but you don't need to be ona an amazing salary to afford help in the home! I maange it in a fairy average part time teaching salary and dp average salary.

Message withdrawn

yes part time fairy and part time minx! I find the minxing pays better

Yes, but surely if you have a choice you might as well do something better paid. So if people were thinking of choosing between the minimum wage in MacDonalds of £5 an hour or setting up as a life coach or therapist or children's party organiser or whatever charging their customers £100 an hour you might as well go for the work which 20 times the rate of the other and those three things I mentioned there do not legally require any training at all, just common sense, some assertiveness and drive and some marketing skills. I often write stuff and can make £200 an hour churning out words not that that's the main thing I do.