nervous...dont want to leave my baby.

[nightowl]

im going back to work part time in about a month. i have booked a childminder who lives close to me and seemed thrilled to have my little baba. we've done a few trial runs and everything has been fine apart from the fact that she seems not too confident with dd. she does seem very good but im a little worried about this. Is it normal? my bab is very tiny and im not sure whether its just the "little baby oh god what do i do thing" obviously i know my baby better than anyone else and i dont get any bad feelings about this woman at all. ive met her own child who seems like a lovely well brought up kid. shes only been a childminder for about a year. shes very business like which is good obviously, as there are so many other checks and things which go on now. my other childminder for ds is very laid back but she's been doing it for over ten years. maybe im just too used to that approach? i do want to make it clear that i have no problem with the mew woman...just a bit worried about the lack of confidence? sorry for the rambling.

How do you mean, she doesn't seem too confident with the baby? She doesn't know how to handle her? I'm not sure exactly what you mean, but it raised a bit of a red flag with me. Obviously you can't expect a stranger to love your baby the same way you do, but it should be obvious that she loves babies, knows how to hold them, talk to them, etc. We met my daughter's childminder when she was about 5 weeks old (I went back to work when she was 8 weeks old), and it was obvious from the first moment she picked the baby up that she was completely comfortable with babies and adored them.

I'm just not exactly sure what you mean, as you say she is very good and everything's been fine, but your post makes me a little uncomfortable.

she was thrilled at the idea of having her and even called a friend to come and look...i dont know...maybe she's more nervous of me than anything! it was sort of "i wasnt sure whether it was her bottle she wanted" kind of thing, which i surpose is totally reasonable because every baby is different. maybe im just subconsiously (spelling) trying to stay away from work longer? i think perhaps she needs to see baby more often until she works out what she likes and dislikes? she does know what to do with babies, talks to her and plays with her etc, its not really a physical thing...she just seems a little nervous...like im going to disaprove maybe? i cant really describe it.

maybe she's nervous while you're there? Doesn't know if you expect her to take control, doesn't want to step on your toes? Another way of looking at it is that she's acknowledging that she doesn't know your baby yet and that a baby is a little person with lots of characteristics and quirks that she needs to get to know. I adore babies and always want to hold them, fuss over them etc but I would never presume to know what they wanted - if the mum was there. And if the mum wasn't there I'd just have to do my best at finding out what they wanted by trial and error - which is what we all do with our own babies isn't it?

i think im probably being an idiot. she does seem lovely and i have no reservations about her...just wanted to see what other people would make of it.

If it doesn't feel right,then maybe it isn't right.I'm a childminder and a mum of three young kids wouldn't feel happy leaving any of them (esp baby) with anyone who didn't seem totally confident in their own abilities. I always try to make sure parents leaving their most precious little people with me are confident that I'm confident and competant. Am on maternity leave myself now as my youngest is just four months old and needs me now so will come back to this later.