Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

I can't believe what I've just heard!

62 replies

thebecster · 12/12/2006 14:30

I've just got back from maternity leave, two months ago. My colleague is going on sabbatical soon. I didn't link the two things in my mind at all until just now.

She was talking on the phone to a client, speaking a language that she always forgets that I can understand and she said...
... that she is going on sabbatical because 'unlike some people she hasn't taken maternity leave', so she approached the boss and pointed out to him that 'unlike some people' she hasn't had children but she shouldn't be discriminated against (her words to the client. Well, a translation of her words). So he relented and gave her a paid sabbatical instead. Because I had all that 'time off', so now she wants time off too (again, her words). Now, I totally support her decision to take a sabbatical and think it can be a positive thing. I just think that being jealous of my maternity is a really weird trigger???

OP posts:

mrsratty · 12/12/2006 16:05

I don't understand why the company is paying her while on sabatical. Surley she has holidays and can spend them as she pleases unlike like mothers who have to fit everything around thier children. Some people really have no understanding of parenthood. If she gets pregnany when she comes back and goes on maternity meave will everyone be ebtiltled to a paid sabitcal becasue she had one and maternity leave too?

Original poster

thebecster · 12/12/2006 16:15

Unquiet Dad! I never knew that such things existed! How incredibly creepy and bizarre!

OP posts:

UnquietDad · 12/12/2006 16:17

The blog in particular leaves a nasty taste. Why would anyone devote lots of time to putting such negative stuff up? Some real issues to work though there.....

LucyJones · 12/12/2006 16:24

Blimey I really hope she isn't getting paid anything...
I have childless friends like this - one bemoans the fact that her teacher colleague has days off to look after her children when sick. So she compensates by taking days off sick when she is fine. What she fails to understand that her teacher friend most likely comes into work when she's sick to compensate and that when she's off she is looking after her sick children not just having a jolly. It drives me mad!!

Monkeytrousers · 12/12/2006 16:33

What a bunch of sour faced Jeramiah's Unquietdad!

HoHoHorsewoman · 12/12/2006 16:34

and at how children are perceived by some sections of society. I hope these people die in poverty with no-one to come to their funeral. I fully appreciate people's decision not to have children, but to behave so spitefully towards those who do is inconceivable. Until they have given over a huge chunk of their lives caring for another human being other than their own selves, they have no right to judge or criticise. As for 'sabbatical woman', words fail me, but I've seen it so many times before but, I have to say, usually from single male colleagues with no understanding whatsoever.

Original poster

thebecster · 12/12/2006 16:37

Re:pay - she'll be on full pay for the whole time (which is more than I got on maternity, but there you go). But I don't mind that tbh, I think she's earned it and that sabbaticals can be a good way to regain focus. But I do mind the implication that I've had one. Because I haven't, I've had a baby.

OP posts:

Rookietherednosedreindeer · 12/12/2006 18:56

She'll be on full pay, I'm outraged even if you aren't that is blooming ridiculous. When I was childless I would have loved a six month sabbatical but in my wildest dreams I wouldn't have expected my employers to pay for it.

wickedwinterwitch · 12/12/2006 19:08

God, this is annoying isn't it? A female colleague of mine who's in her fifties said recently "I never had children but I'd have LOVED the six months off you get for each one." Another male colleague and I explained that it's not six months off it's bloody hard work.

I think I would find it very difficult not to point out to her, in the language she used in the phone call, that it is NOT six months off.

LucyJones · 12/12/2006 19:11

I can't beleive she's on fullpay, that is truly shocking. I think you should go to your boss and ask why you weren't given full pay when you were on maternity leave tbh

MerryChipmonkAndAHappyNewey · 12/12/2006 19:20

Agree with LucyJones. Why should she get six months paid holidays when you didn't get 6 months full pay on ML?

Judy1234 · 12/12/2006 19:53

This is a very interesting issue, whether children are a choice or our duty to the nation or an indulgence. A lot of female and male workers without children feel very resentful, always having to do the CHristmas cover, never being allowed to leave early because their own obligations are differently treated from a parent's. It's a hard issue. But people without children have no idea how hard work it is. I doubt we could ever convince them.

You could apply for a sabbatical. I know mother's in the city (and father's) who get a paid sabbatical and don't spend it looking after the children. It can do people good to have them.

PortAndLemonaid · 12/12/2006 20:00

It's the childless who object to their taxes paying for education/services for children that wind me up personally -- although actually, I have no problem with that if they sign a waiver now to the effect that when they are old and need a hip replacement it will be carried out by an untrained former feral child armed with a random selection of implements and no knowledge of hygiene (and so forth for any other members of younger generations with whom they will be interacting)...

wickedwinterwitch · 12/12/2006 20:03

The thing is, it IS completely different being a parent and a parent's needs are different imo from those of a non parent. If a child is ill then (sometimes) a parent needs to be there. It isn't something you can just not do because you can't be arsed. It isn't the same having to rush home because, oh, I don't know, your psyche needs some attention or something, it's a whole other defenceless person who needs you.

poppiesinalinewithtinsel · 12/12/2006 20:12

I think this is outrageous! and a bloody cheek. If she wants 6 months off then fine, but she shouldn't get paid for it!

What did she think you did during your maternity leave? Sun yourself on a beach and drink Pimms? I'd like to leave her with a baby for a weekend and see if she finds that 'restful'. Mutter mutter. Huff.

pooka · 12/12/2006 20:14

Those websites are HORRIBLE.
Now pre-dcs I was never particularly "in tune" with the obligations that go with parenthood. But at the same time I think it is crazy and discriminatory to say that the child-free are entitled to a 6 month paid sabbatical while those who have children are given a lesser package.
What happens if they go on to have children - it's not as if they wouldn't THEN be entitled to maternity benefits. So no reason why you shouldn't be entitled to a 6 month paid sabbatical in the future.
RIDICULOUS! Am really quite

morningpaper · 12/12/2006 20:18

I agree with Xenia - why don't YOU apply for a sabbatical?

Make sure it's all in writing so you can sue the feckers at some point

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 12/12/2006 20:29

Paid?!

In that case I'm certain she remembered that you could understand her, and that she said nothing whatsoever to the boss about if you got ML she should get sabbatical, and I htink that she was just being malicious and rubbing your nose in it. "Ner ner ne-ner ner I got one better than you-ou!"

No objection whatsoever to paid sabbaticals in principle, but surely the activity should be related to the job that person is doing?

fizzbuzz · 12/12/2006 20:57

Shame she isn't male, there could be an equal pay thing here if she was....

TinselgalacticWalrus · 12/12/2006 21:13

That childfree ghetto or whatever that waste of space blog shite is called is a fucking disgrace. Especially that Jon Benet Ramsay bit

I bet the highlight of the week for the author of that nasty vitriol filled blog is to go home to his bedsit for a pot noodle and a wank

flack · 12/12/2006 21:17

I am completely confused. When you go on maternity pay, doesnt the' government pay almost all your salary for your employer? Whereas your boss is giving her the same option (for how long?) but paying all her salary himself, presumably? Employer must REALLY value her as a worker.

The government pays for maternity leave because birth rates are low and good quality early infant care makes a big difference to a child's future, thus the wellbeing of tomorrow's adults (and workers). The government does it to benefit society. What benefits does your workmate going on holiday confer to society??

UnquietDad · 12/12/2006 21:20

You gave me a good laugh out of their spite, TGW. Pot Noodle and a wank, I like it! Can't get that image out of my head now......

Judy1234 · 12/12/2006 21:35

The Government pays you 90% pay for 6 weeks. That's all. If you get any more maternity pay than that above the state rate it drops to after that the employer is choosing to pay it because that helps retain female workers. A lot offering these extra benefits now do offer them also to people with an elderly relative to look after or other obligations too which is fair.

Those sites you say are "horrible" simply reflect the points of view of a lot of people who have chosen to be childfree and then feel burdened at work. It's hard to bridge that gulf between the child free who see you having children as a choice for you, an indulgence, a hobby which is given greater consideration than their own hobbies. I know people who have left a job when they were refused a sabbatical. If you really want to keep staff then you consider requests like that and sometimes it makes sense to consider them. Ask for your won sabbatical if you think they want to retain you and will bend over backwards to accommodate you.

fizzbuzz · 12/12/2006 21:51

I thought you got 26 weeks at £104, from the government. Anything above that comes from employer.

Am still on mat leave and am sure it was like that.

motherinfurrierfestivefrock · 12/12/2006 21:55

I'm going to stick my neck out here. I do think, actually, that some workplaces expect people who don't have children to work all hours. I do also think that everyone should be entitled to a reasonable work/life balance, and if that means they're free to go home and watch the telly so be it.

Flip

1 2 3