Nursing is it really that awful family wise?

[itschrismurftime]

I am training to be a nurse and we don't have children right now but would like some in the near(ish!) future and the more I hear about nurses who are mums, the more I worry. Is it really awful? I would ideally like to do 3 long days on a ward when qualifying but is that unrealistic with a family?

I love nursing as a student and I am getting worried about qualifying in 2008 because so many qualified don't enjoy it and it seems to make any normal sort of life impossible.

On my placement there are staff nurses who have worked every single weekend for months, is this common or just bad off duty planning by the sister (who is bad at doing the off duty).

Hmm. I am wondering if I have made the wrong choice at the moment. I just keep getting told how people unfriendly the NHS is.

My MIL was a nurse before she had kids, she went onto nights when she had kids and only worked a couple of nights at a better rate. FIL was at home at night and I think she dropped the kids off at a freinds for a few hours to sleep. She said it was easier once they were at school as she had ages to sleep when they were at school.

Lots of Hospitals have on site nurseries now with good rates for employees.

when I first returned after my first stint at mat leave it was a logistical nightmare. DH is also a nurse but manages a ward so was working 9-5. I on the other hand still on a rota. I managed to negiotate a sort of set pattern involving DH working his hours over 4 days so his 5th day was mine for working then I did a couple of late late shifts (started after 5) or the weekends. It really didn't work out too well - I was permantely stressed and still dealing with pnd.

we got through it though. second time around I was in a 9-5 post and it was alot easier.

Our biggest issue has been childcare - we have no family to rely on and prefer the childminder setup. Childminders only work 8-6 in our area and I didn't want to pay for more than I needed and I also had to include a 2hr commmute minimum. so for us, it became much easier when we were both working 9-5 mon to fri. In fact I am now a ward manager as well working my hours over 3 days with extra hours as and when important meetings happen.

What I will say - is don't give up. DO read the maternity policy, nhs policies usually set out a minimum employment time before full pay is paid for maternity leave. Also government maternity allowances are getting better. ALSO nursing is very bitchy so you may not be hearing the full story. Yes, some people do rotas badly but others do well. So find a ward whilst on placement that seems to meet everyones needs and request this for your final placement and apply for that area.

Before you know it you'll be a health visitor quoting the wisdom of mumsnet

Someone I know has returned to nursing and does a v long shift one day at the weekend and then does o/t on one week day aft/eve with her in laws doing childcare.

It sounds ideal and I am envious that she is in a profession where she can earn an income but not have to put her child in day care.

However she got the shifts that suit because her manager respects her, knows she won't call in sick unless she is really ill and wanted to have her back.

I think nursing is probably like every other profession, depends how long you have been there, what your performance is like and what your manager is like.

At the end of the day I don't think that choosing a career based on how child friendly it is works as its so dependant on the factors above so you should keep on doing what you enjoy.

i'm a staff nurse on a surgical ward, when i returned to work after having ds i started on long days.. they did work in the sense that i got the hours over and done with in 3 days and actually working the long day wasn't too bad, but the problem i found was on my days off from work i still had to be mummy and get up at silly o clock, thats where the problem was for me, i was just knackered on my days off!

thankfully i have a very understanding ward manager, who tries her hardest to fit our needs in (theirs quite a few of us with young children) i now do one long day a week on a sunday so dp can have the kids and i do 2 short days in the week, when ds goes to the hospital nursery (subsidised rates).

don't worry about making the wrong choice, until you've qualified you won't really know the answer to that. i love my job, i waork on an excellent ward with an excellent team of nurses. the most important thing is this! yeah, we all moan about our jobs but something keeps making us come back day after day and year after year!

is nursing that awful family wise? i don't think so, i love them both!

goodluck in your training and future career!

There are quite a few mums at our school who are nurses who manage to work part-time around the school run. Some start early and their dh's do the school run in the morning but the mums are there to pick up in the afternoon, others just work school hours only, sometimes they do an extra shift at the weekend. I think the NHS spends so much on agency staff at the moment they are more willing now to offer flexible hours/banked hours to nurses who want to be permanent but part-time. It does probably depend what field you specialise in and may be different if you want to work full-time. The other good thing is that lots of hospitals have subsidised creches which are a bit cheaper than private ones, for when your childrn are little.

Hi I am a midwife and used to work for the NHS, I think it really depends which trust you work for, I worked for one that was totally inflexible for family friendly working and couldn't now work there with 3 kids. Long gone were they days when you could work nights as it fitted in well with your children, there were only twp M/Ws on a night contract and that was only because they had had them for years. You had to work earlies, lates and nights to provide continuity of cover, if others didn't think you were pulling your weight in this department they would happily say so! My manager had no kids and was married to her job so despite only working earlies (7.45-16.15) and no weekends, she found it hard to understand why others struggled with their shifts. I remember one M/W who had no other family around apart from her mother (who was terminally ill) being called to heaven behind her back as she had asked fro fixed days so she could sort out nursery care for her kids. Not everywhere is like this, but it really opened my eyes to what some parts of the NHS expect from you when you are supposed to be working in a caring profession!

I know 2 mums who do part-time nursing - they actually only do one long shift a week (which works particularly well for those with kids at school). from talking to them I gather they were pretty much able to choose their hours as in our area they are really keen to retain nurses and/or attract them back after having kids