Wish I'd thought it all through

[WishIdthoughtitthrough]

I've namechanged for this.

I work in private healthcare for a company that supports vulnerable adults.

Over the last few months a few things regarding another member of the team has given me cause for concern. Including a snapchat story, done at work, mentioning the service user by name, some lewd comments she's made etc etc.

I went to my manager, wanting them to talk to the member of staff about personal boundaries. Nothing else.

Suddenly it's turned into a massive safeguarding issue. The member of staff has been suspended during the investigations. Everyone I mentioned (who could verify what I said) has been pulled in for "statements".

Now this member of staff knows it was me who went to the manager. I think the company told her.

I really wish I'd just gone direct to her myself. She's a nice girl, just misguided. She wasn't abusive. But IMO the snapchat story at least is gross misconduct. So she could lose her job.

So I feel shitty.

Also, someone has gone in there and told a half cocked story about me using another service users wheelchair inappropriately.

The fact of the matter is, I did sit in it whilst we were waiting for him to come out of his flat. And I played with the controls whilst doing so. This meant I trundled forwards slowly for about 3m, turned it around and came back.

There was logic in my madness. Service user said he couldn't use the controls himself, I wanted to see if they were that bad (and as such go back to the manufacturers for a new control pad) or if it was him trying it on (in which case we would support him in getting the hang of it, so he could be more independent)

A member of our team has told the story that I was racing around the carpark in it.

So now I'm in for a disciplinary on monday, with a view to getting a written warning (thats what the email they sent me said)

So, two questions:

One, how should I have handled the issue with my work colleague? So I know in future, this will happen again I'm sure, and I don't want to be as blindsinded by events as I was this time.

Two, how should I handle my own disciplinary? What I did was stupid, there were other ways I could have determined usability. But it wasn't as bad as a member of the team has said, and the service user wasn't stood waiting for me to get out of it. I want to go in and just be like "I was in the wrong. I apologise. It won't happen again" but then I'm concerned of coming off as blase about it all, when actually I do get how stupid it was.

What you did wasn't stupid, the reasons you gave are completely reasonable. I'm so sorry for you, don't you get to explain your side of the story?

I will do, but I'm not sure if I should just hold my hands up to the whole thing. Less aggravation. The only person who can verify me on this won't be believed any more than me because we're friends and our manager thinks we're "more than friends" (we're not, I'm married, he's in a LTR)

Whoops, didn't work withthe name change. Oh well. Can't imagine they'll be looking for me on here.

Do you get a chance to see the allegations in writing & respond to them in writing?

ps: do you have a union, or any one at work who acts as mediator?

No union, need to get in one though. This is one in many things that are wrong/confusing. For all of us, not just me.

No, I presume not, I literally got the email on friday telling me it was on monday.

Your reasons for testing the wheel chair were very sensible.

Ask them to show you the cctv footage of you racing round in the wheelchair. Which they won't have, so it's your word against theirs, they have no proof.

I can't see that you have done anything wrong in any of these situations.

Next time maybe speak to the person directly in the first incident, making a note of the date and what happened incase it does happen again and you need to make someone else aware. How stupid can some one be to make a snap chat about a client!?

In regards to your disciplinary, just go in with a clear head. You know you meant no harm and after looking back yourself you know what, maybe you should have/could have done. Show you have learnt from the incident, let them know you only had good intentions and keep it factual.

Sounds like management have enough to deal with! Do you have HR attending?

I work with vulnerable adults too and safeguarding is drilled into us from day one along with confidentiality. If I did that in my role I would be sacked on the spot, no questions asked. And rightly so because of my job. Don't get me wrong, me and you could work in totally different scenarios and there could be a reason behind why she did it. If they were smiling or anything. But the fact remains it's a safeguarding issue and she needs to know that. You maybe could have told her first but I'd speak to your bosses about respecting your privacy on this matter too!

The second issue shouldn't even be an issue. You have a reason and can back it up. Let us know how it goes!