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Original poster

Have I made a big mistake???

15 replies

SB02 · 04/10/2015 20:43

I walked out of a job I have recently started. This girl has done nothing but pick at everything I do. But today she decided to do it infront of the big boss (who is a very high net man) and his wife and nannies.

She made me feel so stupid with sly comments picking at every 'mistake' I made in her opinion.

Final straw was she decided to be little and embarrass me where I couldn't take it anymore walked off collected my things and explained to the house manager I was leaving.

She did call straight after but it's apparent she is also being picked on by this girl but refuses to speak up as this girls been there for quite sometime.

I did speak to the house manager who explained that she does want me to come back and continue to work weekends (when this other girl doesn't work)

But I have emailed HR.

Please let me know if I have made a total mess of things and yes I know it was so unprofessional of me to walk out but I was literally on the verge of tears and cried on my way home

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Original poster

SB02 · 04/10/2015 20:44

This is the email I sent to HR....

Hi.... ,

I hope you are well and apologies for emailing you on a Sunday. I wanted to let you know that I left number... earlier than expected today, as there seems to be an issue with......

I was reluctant to bring this to your or ....... attention due to me being new and trying to settle in, but ..... has been acting extremely unprofessionally throughout my time with her and this afternoon, spoke to me inappropriately quite a few times in the presence of....... This is not behaviour I will tolerate and decided it would be best if I left and spoke to you and...... before going back.

I have since spoken with ..... and explained I would be happy to follow on to .....: for dinner, though she asked me not to return today and for us to speak tomorrow instead.

I took this role on due to the hours/days being convenient for me, so that I can spend time with my daughter in the week, however, If you would like me to continue this issue will need to be addressed with.....: which I suspect is because I have been forming a good relationship with the ..... as well as other staff members and I am happy to discuss this with you at a mutually convenient time. If you do not wish for me to continue, then I completely understand, though wanted to explain the situation as well as other apparent issues. I apologise for any inconvenience this has inadvertently caused.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thanks

.......

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fastdaytears · 04/10/2015 20:45

That sounds rough. What sort of job was it? Is this mean girl your supervisor?

Original poster

SB02 · 04/10/2015 20:47

Sorry it wasn't too clear. It's a housekeeping role it's quite an intense job this guy it something 'big'

No she's another housekeeper but has been here for three years.

Supervisor is the house manager who doesn't really have a 'back bone'

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fastdaytears · 04/10/2015 20:49

Ok well if she's not your boss then she shouldn't be picking you up on anything really, let alone in front of this guy.

If you wrote down the stuff she said to you would it be obviously unacceptable or was it more the tone of voice?

Original poster

SB02 · 04/10/2015 20:58

More the tone then what she said and her actions towards me. I actually think I need to write this down encase the HR lady calls me tomorrow and I don't want to turn this all in to some emotional thing of she said this she said that.

I don't want to bore you but for example I was setting up the table for lunch. In a really sarci tone she said 'are you confused or something' it's really odd because I didn't even look confused I just set up the table the usual way I have been shown. When I replied with a serious tone no I am not confused I am fine. She then went on to say ok I'll be checking that table after you finish. There was nothing wrong with the table she just decided to say these things as he and his wife were around.

That's just one example it probably sounds petty reading it but it was a whole heap of stuff that built up since Friday evening.

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Original poster

SB02 · 04/10/2015 21:01

Anything I was cleaning she was saying wasn't good enough or would pick at things saying I have missed things even though I was running around like a yoyo for 14 hours yesterday without a break. Another team member was in the staff kitchen cleaning out the fridge. Whilst I served break fast, lunch, dinner as well as cleaning the house so beds bathrooms etc along with criticism.

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fastdaytears · 04/10/2015 21:09

Definitely write it all down. It will help you to get your thoughts in order so when you're asked you can make the most important points first and not get distracted with small things.

HR won't be very pleased about you leaving mid-shift so you need to show why it wasn't possible for you to stay and how this other lady had undermined you until you had no choice.

Is a 14 hour shift what you expected or was that bad organisation by the employer? Is this a job you really want?

Original poster

SB02 · 04/10/2015 21:20

No it's pretty crap but the hours work well for me. It's a weekend role and I don't have to worry about childcare.

To be honest I am not even fussed about not having a break I don't mind working hard. The pay is actually quite good it's just this b!

I feel so stupid for walking out.

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Original poster

SB02 · 04/10/2015 21:21

Oh and one more thing no one actually wants to do this weekend role. They have had 14 people trial in a year. He's very picky and instantly knows who he likes it doesn't like. The longest person to stay in this role is 2 months now I am starting to wonder why??

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LoveAnchor · 04/10/2015 21:52

Well, sometimes leaving is the best thing you can do, and this situation seems to be a case in point.

However in your email it's not quite clear whether you're leaving or not, and what do you want/request, if anything? For example, you could say that you're happy to do this job if you don't have to work alongside THAT person, e.g. shifts that she doesn't do. If no acceptable resolution is possible then you should just leave. It's better to leave now than tolerate such behavior for a long time, and still (most likely) have to leave anyway.

Original poster

SB02 · 04/10/2015 21:57

Thanks very much for your reply. I was actually in two minds when I wrote that email earlier.

But you are completely right. I really don't remember the last time I came across 'office politics' why is everything always such a fight what happened to going to a job doing it and leaving!

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LoveAnchor · 04/10/2015 22:03

When you talk, you will probably be able to explain what you want/need reasonably well, but just be prepared to stand your ground and don't be pushed into a compromise that doesn't suit you. If you'll be feeling that the conversation is heading in that direction, you can always just say that you will consider their offer and will come back to them later. Then sleep on it.

You don't really have a lot of negotiating power, being so new, and that sucks. But you've done your best, and that's all you can do. No one can blame you, really.

Hope you find a better job soon xxx

Original poster

SB02 · 05/10/2015 14:47

Thanks for your reply.
So the HR lady called first thing this morning and wanted me to explain and give examples of what this girl said and did. Which I did. She explained she was appalled and would be investigating internally. Not sure what will happen as she's been working here for three years!

She asked if I wanted to come back I explained I did but didn't want to work along side her. Which in theory I am only supposed to see her Friday afternoon between 12-5pm then she goes home and I continue with working the weekend.

She explained she would be speaking to the house managers and would get back to me later today not sure again what that means!!

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LoveAnchor · 05/10/2015 14:58

Perhaps you're the first person to mention this. Such appalling behaviour can really leave other people speechless, so I'm guessing her previous colleagues were either shocked into leaving the job or too desperate to consider addressing the issue. Well done for standing up for yourself. x

Original poster

SB02 · 05/10/2015 16:30

Thank you very much

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