Employed at law firm that demands perfection - I struggle now, but want to TTC - should I?!

[shelbTa]

Hi,

I work for a law firm who demand absolute perfection - picking you up on even the tiniest error, which my boss likes to do to me frequently. I struggle to maintain their standards without children and a solid nights sleep!

I'm of an age (35) and DH and I want to TTC early next year.

I just worry how I will cope working for this employer pre and more importantly post baby, but I don't think there is time to change firms to one that is perhaps more baby friendly.

Anyone been in the same boat?!

Shelb x

Find a new employer. It's just a job, even more so if you are even contemplating putting off/abandoning having children when that's what you want. At 35 time is not on your side and, once you're out from under such a toxic, belittling management culture, you will probably feel a lot more resilient and confident in your abilities. (Been there - have the T-shirt!)

Thanks for posting.

With moving firms though I'd have to wait what a good year (?) though before TTC (to make me seem like a 'fair' employee) meaning I'd be even older before having my first child...totally unsure what to do.

Shelb x

There is no guarantee that when you decide to conceive it will happen easily though. Don't put off moving because you intend to start early next year. That's already up to 6 months away, if it took a year to conceive how would you feel if you were still working for the same employer 18 months down the line?

I'd look to move ASAP and don't worry about how a pregnancy will change things with the new employer. Worst case scenario is you have issues with maternity pay but when you way that up against the possibility of staying in a stressful negative place that might impact on your ability to conceive in the first place it's a no brainier.

35 is quiet a pivotal time in terms of fertility so it's good that you are weighing up your priorities now rather than waiting until 37,38,39 giving your best years to an employer that will ever give you a family

Provided that you are not actually pregnant when you start your new job then you would get SMP and statutory rights to return to work even if you fell pregnant in the first year. What you might not get is any enhanced rights such as pay for 6 months etc unless you have worked there for a qualifying period.

I would be inclined to stay where you are to conceive first child with a view to taking full maternity leave and not returning there afterwards. You can look for a more suitable role to go back to work.

Thank you all. A lot to think about.

It's such a high pressure environment, I do worry about how I would cope there upon returning to work after a baby - lack of sleep etc., and would that pave the way for some kind of performance review...

thanks.

Shelb x

The key is not seeing yourself as a single parent. My children's father did as much as I did at home so there was no sexist gender divide. It worked very well. Also short maternity leaves are a God send. I commend them to everyone.

I'm going against the grain here - I think most law firms have very high standards because of the ramifications of getting it wrong. I very much doubt another firm would be any different.

Check out what benefits you're entitled to due to your length of service - it's likely to be better than you'd get as a new starter elsewhere. I also think if you want to go back part time or on slightly more flexible terms, you're more likely get a positive response from a firm that knows you and has invested in you (training etc) than a firm where you went off on maternity leave after a few months.

Thanks everyone, much appreciated.

Shelb x

Do you have adv enhanced maternity package at current firm? If so could you start ttc and then spend mat leave looking for a new role (although bare in mind that you may have to repay some enhanced mat pay if it exists of you don't return)

I wasn't sure she was a lawyer as she didn't say. She could be in the post room for all we know alhough even there you have to get things right.

OP if you are a lawyer then I agree with Mandy and Brokenhearted.