Anyone got a clever retort for a junior member of staff constantly demanding updates on your work progress

[SirChenjin]

A new member of the team is currently winding everyone up with his demands/requests for updates on other people's work. We're a small team, and he's out to prove himself (or something), and while I'm more than happy to update on my work where appropriate, being asked to let him know where I am with X in a team meeting by a junior member of staff is starting to grate. Manager is useless - seems quite besotted by him. He's not asking out of interest, he seems to be using every opportunity to establish himself as some sort of top dog. It's very weird.

I don't want to come across as negative, and I don't want to let him see he's getting to me - any ideas for a clever comeback and how to deal with him?

Feed him misinformation

BoffinMum, I like your style with the misinformation. Cunning!

Misinformation you say.....now that I like

Misinformation! Yes! And all the better if you can use made up lingo and jargon that he then repeats and looks like even more of a twat!

use made up lingo and jargon that he then repeats

Oh, no, don't do that! Besotted boss will think he's brilliantly encapsulated the nature of the task (is on message), immediately start copying him (leveraging communications), and demand you all do the same (cascade the thought profile)

The other ideas are all brilliant. Please tell us when you've successfully rounded at least one of his corners!

I had a kid who was gunning for promotion do this to me. I looked him and told him it was great that he had free time and he could do x, y and z for me. Couldn't help but laugh because I knew he was busy and there was no way he could do a descent job of the work.

Turned out he hashed it up and the manager asked me to save the day and clean it up. Ended up making me look good and him look shitty.

How about 'that's not relevant for this meeting, I'll update [boss] separately rather than waste everyone's time here' ?

at the moments there's nothing going on with project X that affects what you all are working on, I'll let you know if it does

These are the most professional, most appropriate and sufficiently assertive responses that won't have you seen as prickly and defensive, obstructive and possibly even insecure.

But if he doesn't take the hint and all else fails, then

I think you may be confused about this organisation's structure. I am not accountable to you. I will ensure you have all the information you need in order to perform your role. It is not appropriate for you to be demanding constant updates from the rest of us.

this is brilliant.

I would pull him on it.

"Where are you on x?"

"Actually can I have a quick word with you about that after the meeting?"

Then tell him it's inappropriate for him to address you in this manner and to please stop. If he does it again address it during the meeting "did we not discuss you asking me such questions? Did you not understand me?"

Just pretend not to hear....or have a coughing fit....or blank him openly. I would. As he turns to speak to you...be on guard and immediately interrupt with "Oh I've been meaning to say..." and talk to someone else. Do it repeatedly....

Brilliant responses - thanks everyone

He's a definite 'type', albeit one that we've never had in our small team before. Just praying his time with us is short before he moves on to 'dazzle' elsewhere.

Where are you with you project?
Why do you need to know?
Do you have time to be checking on others work when you have that big project to deal with?
Is everything ok? Are you worried you are not keeping up with everyone else?

I am in the same situation as you. I have to resist the urge to not chuck my stapler at his head on occasions.

He is a complete slacker but is one of these people that can talk the talk and make themselves look busy when they aren't. Example being, a piece of work that would take me an hour, would take him the entire morning and the boss doesn't seem to pick up on this! He is also the questioning type, but only when the boss is about. He tries to question people on their work, why they have done something a particular way and keeps trying to make changes to how we do things. He is still fairly new to the team and is clearly trying to make himself look good.

I have now taken it upon myself to nit pick his work, oh and only mention it when the boss is about. Considering that he is a slacker, its fairly easy to spot mistakes I can point out..... muhahahaha

I wonder if he's the same person...?!

The difference in our team is that our boss is besotted by him - thinks he's absolutely wonderful. He's managed to piss the entire team off in the short time he's been here, and every time our boss starts on about his amazing work the rest of us are genuinely .