What to do re. provisional job offer and pregnancy

[RedZeppelin]

Back in July I was given a provisional job offer for an amazing job, subject to final interview. We negotiated and agreed on package and the final interview was to take place abroad on a date to be agreed.
The day before the trip I met with my potential new boss and let him know, out of courtesy, that I was 3 months pregnant. He reacted well but did indicate that the timing was inconvenient and made some comments about my likelihood to return to work i.e. I might feel differently about the role once the baby arrives (I already have two children and fully intend to return to work full-time).

So, the interview went well, however, on my return the boss told me that they now had other candidates in the process. There had been no mention of this when the offer was made.

That was six weeks ago and since then I've heard nothing. I have a strong feeling that my pregnancy has prejudiced the process and they will withdraw the offer.

Really not sure what to do next. Do I sit back and wait? If they withdraw the offer what are my options?

Any thoughts and advice greatly appreciated.

Sorry but you should never have mentioned the pregnancy. It was a provisional offer not a final offer. I would not have mentioned the pregnancy until I had a signed contract, or at the very least a final offer in writing.
It's against the law for them to discrimate against you because of pregnancy but they will lie and come up with another reason that another candidate is better.
You could get advice from CAB or an employment rights organisation but tbh I think it will be hard to argue your case - they will wriggle out of it.

I agree with the above. Regardless of what should happen, never ever risk telling them you're pregnant until you have a firm offer on the table.

Really???

The role is a right-hand-man to the UK MD position. Trust and integrity is very important due to the nature of the job and it didn't feel morally right to keep the pregnancy quiet. To reveal once I'd been given a firm offer would, in my view, have been detrimental to the working relationship.

In theory it shouldn't matter that I've told them as I'm protected from discrimination by law (see the 2010 Equalities Act).
Has anyone had any experience of pursuing a claim under this legislation? If so, how did you go about it and what was the outcome?

Well it could have been detrimental to the working relationship but now there won't be a working relationship at all!!
Yes it's unfair and a bit shit but I don't see how you can prove your pregnancy was the reason you didn't get the job.
Ask CAB or an employment lawyer, there are usually a few on here so they might be able to advise you if you have a case you could win

I think first of all you need to establish what's happened to your application. Can you call them and ask them when the final interview is likely to be?

"To reveal once I'd been given a firm offer would, in my view, have been detrimental to the working relationship."

To deliberately "reveal" it before they've made a final decision because you think it's important to do so implies you consider it to be relevant to that final decision and expect it to be taken into account.

Of course you are protected but clearly discrimination is both more likely to happen and also more difficult to prove if you tell them beforehand.

I agree you need to establish what's happening. Were you given a timescale about a decision? When you say you've not heard anything for six weeks does that mean you've been following up and they've ignored/avoided you, or does it mean neither party has bothered to keep in touch?

Yes, I see what you mean, flowery - there is an argument for saying "I didn't see this as relevant to the position so I didn't mention it" - and indeed, the only way it is relevant to the position is that you would have a period of absence coming up in the future. This would be annoying for the MD as, having just established the relationship the candidate departs for a period of time but that could happen to anyone, e.g. I've got various colleagues who've been out for prolonged periods due to knee and hip surgery, chemo treatment and so on. (Am not comparing maternity leave as being like chemo treatment, incidentally!). Life happens and work has, to some extent, to accommodate it. And who knows, you might decide to return to work quite quickly whilst your DH takes parental leave. They could employ a male candidate and discover he intends to do just that.

It is a justification for not mentioning it if a justification is required, but actually it's more than that.

The fact of the pregnancy is relevant to the position in terms of managing absence, yes. It is relevant to planning, possibly to induction, to various things. But it is not relevant to the decision about whether to employ a person or not.

The only reason the MD needs to know that (or indeed any) information before making an offer rather than (even only 5 minutes) afterwards is if the information is relevant to that decision.

There are frequently women on this site asking about whether they should tell potential employers about a pregnancy, or whether it's right to apply for promotion or a new job while pregnant, or if trying to get pregnant, assuming it would be fair enough for the employer to be unhappy about that.

While women continue to treat the everyday, perfectly normal, to-be-expected-in-women-of-childbearing-age occurrence of pregnancy as being some kind of bombshell for employers, employers are more likely to seize on the opportunity/excuse to act that way. Women don't help ourselves sometimes!

Unfortunately I can't undo what's been said. What irks is that the search for other candidates appears to have been kicked off after making the provisional offer as well as after learning of my pregnancy but before receiving any feedback from the final interview.

Tribpot the final interview has already taken place. When I spoke to the MD a few days later he still hadn't had any feedback but did indicate that he had started a process to benchmark me with other candidates on the market.

I have made contact and am waiting for them to call me back, which I'm fully expecting to be a "thanks, but we're withdrawing the offer" conversation.

Was the final interview not with the MD?

Take very careful notes when they do phone you back, even if you decide not to do anything about it. Ultimately a company that would behave in the way we suspect is not one you want to work for anyway, but that doesn't excuse it.

I was in a similar situation with my first pregnancy, I was temping, a permanent role came up, I found out I was pregnant two days before the interview. Did I tell my boss? No. Did it affect the working relationship once he did find out? Not at all. He didn't seem to be that bothered, he was quite nice about it all.

FWIW I work in HR and would say that if you could prove you had a provisional offer which has then been withdrawn, you could have a pop at putting in a claim and they may stump up some cash rather than fight it, a lot of employers will settle rather than try to defend a claim unless they are absolutely sure they are not at fault.

If nothing else it will make them sweat a bit!

Of COURSE they discriminated against you.

But proving it will be hard, expensive and ultimately pointless. It'll cost you lots of money unless you have Union backing.

And you didn't have a firm offer so hard to prove.

I wouldn't have mentioned it

If you want the job, I would re-engage and have a straightforward conversation "I want the job, you seemed to want me. I will take 3 months mat leave and be available from x date. Realistically if you're looking now it will take a couple of months and then they'll probably be on 3 months notice, so you're only waiting x months more for me. Shall we get a contract in place". That sort of thing.

I am happy with my decision to tell them about the pregnancy. To discriminate against me is/was illegal.

Brokenhearted I suggest you read up on the Equalities Act 2010

Does anyone have any experience of taking action in this sort of situation? How did you go about it? How much did it cost? What was the outcome?

On 17th September you were waiting for a call back. What actually happened there? I agree with Hermione's advice to reengage. To decide what to do you need something firm about what's actually happening. You're speculating, understandably, but that's all it is.

If you just bring a claim without anything firm indicating that the offer is withdrawn and they're going with someone else, all they'll do is say we haven't made a decision yet. You need evidence that they have made a decision. And on that basis there's no reason to think your three months are almost up.

Thanks flowery. I have re-engaged and they have confirmed that they have made an offer to someone else.

Unfortunately I cannot change what's been done - that's in the past. I don't have Trade Union membership so I'm looking to hear how other people in a similar situation have tackled this.

In that case I think your next step would be to go and see a solicitor with all the information. He/she should be able to advise you based on the specifics of your situation whether you have a good case or not, and should also be able to give you guidance on how much taking it further is likely to cost.