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Desperate and miserable at work..any ideas?

4 replies

AuntieMeemz · 12/09/2015 21:27

I wish I could get another job (had a couple of interviews, dozens of hours spend on application forms).
My boss is a lady, but a loudmouth bully. Had several meetings with her, her boss and HR but to no avail. She says my work is substandard (I have really given 100% to improving but to be honest, the workload is ridiculous and the expectations or rather need for perfection is unrealistic). I worry all the time that I'll get something wrong. Worse still, after a few mistakes everyone on the team makes me the scapegoat. They are all making just as many mistakes, which go un-noticed. I had a month off with stress recently. I just couldn't do any more.
I'm a confident person, but I don't really stand up to them. Nowadays though, I have noticed that when something is wrong, everyone blames me. A couple of times I've had to take a deep breath and say that the mistake was nothing at all to do with me. When it's someone else on the team, they just laugh it off, when it's me, I can almost see my boss getting out her 'appraisal' note book. Nobody apologises or says anything when I say it wasn't me. (it's easy to tell, we have to put our names to everything we do).
My colleague (who is regarded as the star) spends most of his day quietly browsing the internet on his phone or watching videos. If he is so good he's done all his work, why doesn't boss share out more of the work to him?

Boss says my workload isn't heavy, but to me it is. She says you must do your reports, when I ask for the data, she says 'I'm more worried about your cases' so I said I can't get the log to update it so you can see I'm up to date (colleague is always hogging it so I have to record my changes/cases done, and then save them when she goes home or to lunch.) So she says 'well it's about prioritising'. But I can't win, and I can't prioritise everything.

Boss, her boss and rest of the team make me feel like a leper.

OP posts:
Doingthebesticanmum · 13/09/2015 08:25

Hi Auntymeemz, I'm so sorry to hear about your current situation at work.
No-one should be made to feel like this.

What was the outcome of the meetings with your boss, your boss' boss and HR regarding your concerns? Do you mind me asking if you initiated the organisation's formal Grievance Procedure? This would be my next move if less formal interventions hadn't brought about any improvements to your working environment.

In the meantime I would advise you to keep a diary of all incidents, dates and times of any 'bullying' from your supervisor (keep it factual, ie what words did she use and in what context), examples of mistakes made by others for which you are made the scapegoat etc.

If you are unable to complete all the work you have been given and are unsure which elements to prioritise, ask your boss to clarify what your top priority should be.

((hugs))

Fluffyears · 13/09/2015 23:48

This could describe my situation exactly apart from having a male boss. Please know you aren't alone and try to get out that's what I am doing for the good of my health, why not create a copy of the log that you can just copy and paste. I would just ask the 'hogger' quite loudly so boss can hear 'can you let me know when you are out of the log as i have updates to do?' Or ask for it to be a shared file (really easy) so that you all have access.

AuntieMeemz · 16/09/2015 22:32

doingthebesticanmum (fab name, it made me think). I haven't instigated Grievance procedures. I think they are so fed up with me for rocking the boat, they just want rid of me already!
HR got me an specialist who says I need an assessment to see if I am dyslexic-boss said too much work on to do that. HR also got Occupational Health to look as specialist report, but boss just said her suggestions were impossible. They offered to buy me ear plugs to help me concentrate. They also suggested training for the 'text to talk' package, I don't think it will hep but boss wants to try it herself, so has agreed to join me on the training.

Having spent weeks trying to find a job, I've given up (have spent every evening working on application forms and realised I'm wasting my time) I have decided I will finally realise my dream and start my own business from home.I'm 54 and underskilled for todays job market.

OP posts:
jclm · 17/09/2015 09:59

I think you need to spend more time co sidering your next career move, with a view to leaving this place asap. You could have a careers interview, there are also helpful books on changing career on Amazon x

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