The emotional roller coaster that is returning to work after mat leave. Please tell me I'm not the only one.

[KingOfTheStupids]

DS will have just turned 3 and the DTs will be 10 months. They will be spending 2 days a week in nursery, 2 days with the in laws and 1 day at home with DH.

I'm happy to start working again and looking forward to the challenge of a new job with great future career prospects etc. However, the knot in my stomach made up of guilt and anxiety about leaving them, and the feelings of jealousy that someone else will be spending all that quality time with my babies, is making me feel physically sick.

I've decided to give it a go until Christmas in the hope that these feelings will subside, the babies and DS will be happy and thriving, and I'll be content with the evening and weekend time I have with them. Hopefully by then our savings will have recovered enough to allow me to take more time off if I still can't stand to be away from them.

How did other full time working parents cope with the return to work? Did you have these feelings and did it all turn out to be ok?

Oh OP I feel for you. For what it's worth, I always found the build up to going back so much worse than actually doing it. I too used to feel sick and felt like an emotional wreck - just the mere mention of work would make me sob at the idea of 'abandoning' my children.

And yet, it's not abandonment. They'll be with you every morning, every evening and every weekend. When they're not with you, they'll be with other children in a setting you'll have researched and had a good feeling about, or they're with family members who will love them (almost) as much as you do. It's brilliant that you have a Plan B that, if it's not working for any of you, you can step off the career train again and be with them, but you may well be surprised at how much you enjoy having the balance of the working you and the mummy you. Genuinely, with each of my three, I was a complete wreck at the idea of not being with them 24/7 but within a few days, I was relishing the new balance to my life, and I felt it helped me be a better me, as odd as that sounds. I missed my children dreadfully, but also loved looking forward to getting home and immersing myself in them, and I also enjoyed my work. The only time I struggled was when I hated the job, and then leaving the children was a real wrench, which prompted me to make some changes. I still work - four days a week - and I love the balance. I can be adult me, in charge of big decisions and deliver some cracking work, and I can drink hot drinks when they're hot, not when I discover them half an hour later! I also get to go to the loo on my own, have the occasional lunch break, and I love seeing my babies at the end of the day!

Try not to dread it, enjoy the time you have with them at home before you head back and don't be tempted to rose-tint the role of the SAHM as it's bloody hard! Go back, walk tall and throw all you can at it (it sounds like a great opportunity) and if it doesn't work out, you're in the right position to make the decision about your future.

Good luck!

I agree with everything Dreaming said. As long as you enjoy your job, you can be a wonderful mother too. Don't let the guilt and silly societal attitudes get to you. Just make sure you have quality time with your kids, try and outsource boring jobs like cleaning if you can afford it, and make it work. Xxx