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work has become very stressful since colleague discovered pregnancy

8 replies

mummymcphee · 17/08/2015 22:56

always thought i had a good working relationship with this person. However shortly after she found out i was pregnant she started telling me things like i was under investigation for not working my hours. i am actually senior to her but she had gone to a manager outside the team and given her a list of dates when apparently i was awol. The list has never been made available to me but according to my boss she is not concerned in the slightest about my attendance or performance. She said the list made reference to thing like my teaching commitments and study days which are part of my job. This colleague also asked the outside manager to send me time sheets which she was checking and disputing. i was absent after a miscarriage scare and early scans (day and a half....which i made up).
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My management style with this colleague has been in the past to support her, train her and be flexible around her hours (as long as the work is done i am happy). i have a few weeks left to work before maternity leave. This colleague has spoken about me in a negative way throughout the team, insisted on mediation after she recently shouted at me during a meeting and stormed off for the rest of the day. during the mediation she complained about my performance and i asked for evidence...six weeks later i still haven't seen this list.

is there anything i can do to resolve this make it better ???? finding it very difficult to work with her.

OP posts:
T1Inker · 18/08/2015 10:42

You have my sympahty. Nothing is worse than working with a back stabbing colleague. Been there and worn the T shirt. You need to clear this up with your manager, intervene before it goes to far. I didn't, thinking I could handle it. The result was, anxiety, sleepless nights, worrying all the time, making errors becaue I knew I was being watched all the time. You do not need this during pregnancy or any other time for that matter. Tackle it head on before you go on matrenity leave and nip it in the bud.

ijustwannadance · 18/08/2015 10:56

She's either jealous of your pregnancy or most likely is after your job.

auntpetunia · 18/08/2015 13:11

Can you get your manager to put in writing that they have no problem with you, just for your peace of mind. Then ask your manager who I assume is colleagues manager also to call colleague in and tell her in no uncertain terms thst her behaviour is not acceptable and that she will be being closely monitored to ensure she isn't doing or day g anything g thst would bring you or the company into disrepute whilst you are on mat leave. Sounds to me like she wants your job and is hoping g to make everyone think she's better than you whilst you're off. She needs to be stopped before you go off and she needs telling by you and your manager that going to outside managers is not acceptable, if she had a problem she should follow correct procedure.

Stingingthistle · 18/08/2015 14:51

I agree she sounds jealous of pregnancy or after the job.

Cheeky cow. Definitely good your boss is being reasonable so try not to worry about her, but sounds infuriating.

WrenNatsworthy · 18/08/2015 14:56

I had a similar situation when I went back to work after maternity leave, unfortunately in my absence an ex colleague had become manager and was senior to me.

I tried to go to HR but she was a very clever bully and convinced me that they wouldn't believe me. The whole situation was awful.

My biggest regret is not involving HR. This woman is bullying you, her reasons for doing so are immaterial.

lilyb84 · 18/08/2015 15:24

Agree with pp you need to get it cleared up with HR and/or your manager for your own sanity! It sounds like she's threatened, jealous or perhaps just feeling abandoned by your impending mat leave - clearly she has some issue but she shouldn't be making it your problem.

As her manager, could you arrange a meeting with her to discuss the issues she's been raising, perhaps with a member of HR present as a witness? Sometimes speaking to someone directly is the best way as you might be surprised by what comes out - perhaps she's got something else going on and is taking it out on an easy target?

Or she could just be a conniving so-and-so, but I like to think positively Smile I hope you manage to resolve it in the best possible way to get this off your mind before your leave.

flowery · 18/08/2015 20:40

It's not 100% clear OP, but are you this person's line manager?

mummymcphee · 19/08/2015 14:21

Thankyou for the good advice everyone! I am indeed her line manager and I am struggling to be assertive with managing her at the moment due to her running to other members of the team when she is not happy about things.

We work as a specialist team of two in a very busy department. I have recruited someone to replace me for duration of my maternity leave.

One of my colleagues recent claims was my childcare arrangements had not been adequate and that she was doing all the work.....again no dates or evidence forthcoming. Someone senior to me has suggested I do not want to be in a position as her manager where i am having to defend myself. However i recently compiled our activity data for the last quarter which demonstrated I was actioning over 50% of jobs plus all the teaching and management.

The jealousy over the pregnancy is possible as she has just got married and is going through the menopause and is a few years older than me. However when I tried to talk to her about it all she broke down and said she thought she had cancer.This has turned out not to be the case. Her campaign of negative behaviour towards me has continued.

I am planning to contact HR and my union rep for advice about anything happening during my maternity leave and the current situation.

Thanks all!

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