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My job is getting me down

4 replies

lilyb84 · 17/08/2015 11:58

I started at a charity (after working in retail for my whole career so far) a year ago. I moved partly for new opportunities/skills, partly because I'd been with my previous employer for 9 years (from straight out of uni) and partly with a view to getting better maternity rights when we started a family.

Since the first week I've been struggling with the job. I was employed in a marketing capacity, although in a particular role which wasn't 'traditional' marketing - I made it clear in my interview that I wasn't interested in a general marketing position. A couple of months in, it became clear that my role wasn't necessary to the organisation and my new manager changed it so I became a general marketing manager. I embraced the change, thinking that while it wasn't what I wanted, I might at least learn something.

A year in, I absolutely hate it. I've been suffering with depression since last autumn which I can only attribute to the job. It's challenging but not in a good way - having never worked at a charity before I don't know if it's typical of the sector, but it's so hard to get anything done as the rules and targets change every week. I'll start a piece of work with very little info to go on (I'm a manager but not senior so don't sit in any of the meetings that would give me this info, and my manager isn't great at passing it down) and then will be told upon completing it that it's not needed any more.

I know I'm not the only one who's frustrated - virtually all my colleagues are as well. But I'm seriously struggling to get any work done as it's such a vicious cycle - I'm really unmotivated to do the work in the first place which then makes me feel bad for wasting the organisation's time, but when I do get something done it's invariable not used or useful because of the constant change, which takes me straight back to being unmotivated.

I'm currently pregnant which I'm very happy about, and am getting CBT on the NHS for the depression, but on a day-to-day basis I simply am not coping with this job. I spend most days either avoiding work or crying because I feel so useless. I'm sure I have skills but I've forgotten what they are - and this is coming from former management jobs where I've not only successfully managed teams but have won awards for my work!

Talking to my manager doesn't help as she's pretty negative about the whole thing too, and to be honest I'm not sure there's anything she can do. I'm using annual leave up gradually to attend my CBT and have no actual holidays on the horizon due to that and the fact that all our key work is happening this autumn. I just want to ignore it all and hope it goes away but the more I procrastinate the worse I feel.

Please tell me there are others of you out there who hate your jobs, don't understand your organisations, feel frustrated by never being able to get anything done, and really just wish you weren't there? If I wasn't pregnant now I'd be looking for something else as a matter of urgency but as it is, I need to get through the next few months and then a few more when I return from mat leave.

Any hints and tips for just knuckling down and getting on with it despite feeling so shit would be much appreciated. I used to be efficient and organised but now I write endless lists which I don't even attempt to complete.

Sorry for the massive rant!!

OP posts:
shadypines · 19/08/2015 18:53

Hi, I completely get how you feel with your low morale. It sounds like you have been badly let down by poor management - this is me at the moment too - totally demotivated and demoralised (trying to work up the energy to do my own thread!).

From what you say the rug was pulled from under your feet at the very start and it sounds they are constantly pulling it if things keep unnecessarily changing. You just don't know where you are up to do you so how on earth can you feel motivated?

I'm not in a position to give any great advice at the moment OP, sorry, I hope someone comes along who can. How about you write down all the things that are bothering you (just as a 'get it off your chest' exercise) and perhaps even write down what you would do to make managing things better.

Small steps and all that...... for you Flowers

lilyb84 · 19/08/2015 19:36

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and reply, shady. Your suggestion is a very good one - a friend IRL suggested I try to 'manage' myself in the same way I used to manage others and I think your suggestion is similarly helpful as it'll give me a different perspective.

Thanks again Smile

OP posts:
MrsMargoLeadbetter · 19/08/2015 19:39

Sorry to hear about this OP.
Thanks

I have worked in charities and the changing priorities sounds v similar! As does a change in job role.

Is your org a member of CharityComms? They do a mentor scheme, that might be help - a safe space outside work to talk about work.

Can you 'self-coach' a bit? Take a step back and decide what you can do and what you cannot. You cannot do it all, or call about it all...

Try to push back on your manager. Her lack of positivity is her issue. She is still being paid to manage you.

Is there anyone else you can reach out to internally?

You may not feel like it (rubbish job & preggant) but what about attending a few networking events with a view to escaping soon as you can.

If you are in London/can get to #nfptweetup is on 17 Sept. I am going to I Am Networking's 30th Sept event about Storytelling.

There is also a great Third Sector Comms FB group where jobs & best practice stuff is shared.

QuietIsland2 · 19/08/2015 19:51

A similar thing happened to me - moved job to one which was slightly different to my area of expertise, was promised training which never materialised and struggled with the job. Then I got pregnant, started to dread coming back. My dh encouraged me to leave as I was so stressed. Did 6 months after mat leave ended and floated out of the building on the last day. I haven't much advice to give - just try to break up the remaining time into chunks and remember that you won't be in that job forever. I was having blood pressure problems due to stress and HR had to be drafted in shortly after I left as the unit was so dysfunctional. I'm so glad I left but working in such an environment knocked my confidence.

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