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Original poster

Do you take your children's birthday off work?

33 replies

balancingact · 13/11/2006 10:28

Hi,
I feel horrible - it's my little girl's 3rd birthday today - we gave her a nice big fairies and pirates party on saturday but her real bday is today. Just started in a new job and i have two major client meetings today - so i did go to work - and was planning to go home early to spend the day with her. But an officemate of mine said - why are you here? and made me feel really bad. Am i an awful mother for not just taking the day off automatically?
As you can see...i'm hoping some of you will say no....

OP posts:
beansprout · 13/11/2006 10:32

Hmmm, tricky one. I had only been back a few weeks when it was ds's 1st birthday, so I went in and crucified myself all day. This year I took half a day which felt about right. Not sure what sort of precedent it sets though - take them out of nursery? School? That can't be right. Will be interested to hear what other people do.

If you have to be there, I wouldn't worry. Her expectations will largely be governed by your views on it anyway, so if this is normal then that's fine. I don't plan to take ds's birthday off every year, much as I love him!

HuwEdwards · 13/11/2006 10:39

No, when they were this little, I let them believe their birthday was on the day of the party and didn't take the day off work....like beansprout says, I certainly won't take them out of school for their birthdays (but that's a whole other MN debate )so start as you mean to go on.

Peridot30 · 13/11/2006 10:40

I dont think you are a bad mother, she has had her party and im sure you will spoil her when you get home.

Would you keep her off nursery or school when its her birthday? The answer in most cases is no so why would you take day off work.

Enjoy your night when you get home with her.

Original poster
balancingact · 13/11/2006 10:42

thanks girls... i feel mildly better now!

OP posts:
fennel · 13/11/2006 10:42

I don't. because there are 3 of them and I want to maximise being able to take off time when they are sick, when it's nursery or school holidays, when they have a school play or sports day or assemby.

And they don't mind anyway, as far as I can tell.

but was a bit worried when lurking on a recent Childminders thread on here where it was seen as really uncaring not to take the day off for a dc's birthday. hadn't realised people thought it was that bad.

Judy1234 · 14/11/2006 08:00

No one I know ever has taken the day off in 22 years of my being a working mother but you're free to spend your holiday as you want of course. families differ in their traditions. Some religions don't even celebrate birthdays. Children will follow the parents' lead. Once the children are 3 they are often at nursery school anyway so not around all day even if you took the day off.

Happy birthday to her.

HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 14/11/2006 08:10

well i always did, yes.

and dp always does

thays jusy how we do things. he and i, when working, booked the birthdays off at the beginning of the leave year

but you're in a new job-you probably haven't got that option!

Uwilalalalalala · 14/11/2006 08:17

I usualy take their birthdays off. But this year I have used all of my holiday... so it looks like I'll be working on DD's 4th birthday in March. (unless I give up a day of my Christmas leave... which actually I might do).

Anyway, I don't think you are mean. If you have to work... you have to work.

And, yes, she will be going to school on her birthday in the future.

lindac · 14/11/2006 08:36

i did when they was younger but at 21 and 17 im now lucky if i see them !

Bozza · 14/11/2006 08:39

I don't think you are mean, I think it is about personal preference. What will your DD be doing today?

I have never worked on either of my DC's birthdays, but that is partly personal choice and partly circumstances. DS's 1st and 2nd birthdays fell on work days and I took them off, then (because I only work 3 days/week) we had the run of weekend birthdays. His 6th birthday will be in Feb half term and I should be working but think I will take it off.

DD is 2 and so far both her birthdays have been on days I don't work. DH has tended to work on the days but ensure that he has a fairly low key day and can finish early. I do not have the sort of job where that would be feasible.

Bozza · 14/11/2006 08:39

Sorry - what did she do yesterday?

Tortington · 14/11/2006 09:00

god no.

what a spoiled next generation we are going to have.

Bozza · 14/11/2006 09:11

This reply has been deleted

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 14/11/2006 09:15

eh?

spending time with your loved ones on your birthday, spolied?

nah, have to disagree there

all birthdays taken off work chez filly

lilibet · 14/11/2006 09:17

I am this year for the first time, my dd will be 18 and we are having a day shopping and I am treating her to a nice lunch.

But for the previous 18 years x 3 children? No.

I do always take my birhtday off tho' - does that make me a bad mother?!!?

HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 14/11/2006 09:28

Giving kids shed loads of toys they don't need is spoiling

Spending time with them on a day that is special to them is not spoiling. Its showing them that you value them enough to take a day off work. My kids would prefer a day with both their parents to lots of presents, any day.

(not directed at anyone who has not taken time of for kids birthday...more general idea that taking birthdays off = spoling)

Clary · 14/11/2006 10:11

Gosh wish I had the luxury but with children at school, holiday days are prized and to be used to cover, ermm, school holidays.

Anyway as others say they will be at school on their birthday in a few years' time.

As it goes, I was off work on DS1's first b/day and also for DS2's first b/day. But that's just by chance that it fell on a non-working day.

We have a thing we do on actual birthdays where we take a cake to the park after school, just the 5 of us (as opposed to the giant party at the w/end) and everyone tries to get there ie even if DH or I should be workign late, so I suppose that's similar.(Obv only works with summer birthdays).

fennel · 14/11/2006 10:17

The first day I saw dd1 looking really happy and settled at her nursery was when they held her a 2nd birthday party, a few weeks after she'd started there. She was being made such a fuss of with a little tea-party. (that was actually the day before her birthday, as it happens as her birthday was on a weekend that year, but she really enjoyed having a little party at nursery and being made to feel special.

reno · 14/11/2006 11:11

i won't have the option of whether to take the day of or not - being a teacher other peoples children will have to be the priority (in the schools eyes at least) - so am i classed as a bad mum because of the nature of my work? Luckily though ds will be one in the summer, just before the end of term, so the head, who is very understanding, may let me finish early or bring him round from the childminders for lunch. My department colleagues (and the pupils)would love that!!!

Tortington · 14/11/2006 12:51

will you let them have the day off school too?

or is their education more important?

i personally would rather take my holidays when i can give time to all my children

Raggydoll · 14/11/2006 12:59

this year both dh and I were working so we told ds (3) it was on a different day that we both had off

TinkersBollocks · 14/11/2006 13:03

Wouldn't occur to me to take the day tbh. They don't really know which day is there birthday. My eldest couldn't get her head around her party and her birthday being on different days.

Tortington · 14/11/2006 13:34

why hvae you got bollocks tinker?

Iklboo · 14/11/2006 13:36

Custy - read the Atheists & Accountability thread. That's why tinker now has clinkers

Iklboo · 14/11/2006 13:37

We did this year - can't say it will happen every year though

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