I'm patronising???

[zmr13]

Hi guys!

I would appreciate some help on the fact I come across as patronising to my work colleagues. The thing is, I don't even realise I am doing it but that's the feedback from them, which is what I need to work on.

I work in retail and I am a supervisor so obviously, I need to help my manager run the department and ensure staff are going what they should be correctly. For example, a couple of days ago, I was with a colleague and she had to put some new sale stock out and her argument was that there was not enough space and I said that it seems that way because the fixture was really messy but once she tidied it, she would be able to get a better understanding of where the extra sale stock can go... my manger was there at the time and after said that sounded patronising but I said "I think you can get it out" at one point in the conversation....

Can you guys please give me tips/examples of how I can watch my tongue?

Sometimes patronising tones...rather than words are what do the damage. Other times it's the omission of a couple of words or a smile which makes people feel patronised.

I could say "Well the fixtures messy, so once it's tidied then more will fit on it...if you sort the clothes out a bit, then it will probably be fine."

With a smile and that seems fine.

But if I say "Well the fixtures messy so once you've tidied it, you will be able to get a better understanding of where to put the extra stock." then that sounds...well...patronising. It's the suggestion that she doesn't understand something which got her back up I expect.

Is English your first language? If not, then I advise you to listen carefully to the small additions which make things come across as friendly...

In my first example the addition of "A bit" and "probably" both suggest that I am open to being in the wrong myself...in including "A bit" I am deliberately not critisizing the state of the rail of clothing as the employee might think I'm blaming her...the addition of "Probably" means that I am accepting that I am not ALWAYS right.