Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Have made a big decision about my career/life (sorry - long)

15 replies

Moomin · 02/05/2004 20:41

I didn't really know which topic this should go under but here goes...
I've been teaching at my present school for 7 years and overall I've loved it. However, we had a new head of dept start 20 months ago and he's a been a disaster as far as our (the staff's) well-being has gone. He's a statistics and testing man and doesn't seem to have a soul, which I think is very depressing for us as staff and the kids he teaches. He has no ability to empathise with others, which I think is vital in a job like ours and he's gradually worn us down so that we all feel fairly worthless and demotivated.
The school is 20 miles away from where I live but the journey's always been worth it as I love the rest of the staff and most of the kids I teach. I've taught 3 days a week since I had dd and that's suited me fine. The Head has been great to me and has kept me on management points even though I'm p/t and I've liked having more to get my teeth into than just the teaching.
My plan since the new HoD started was always to try to get pregnant with no2, have my mat leave with this school as the benefits are so good, return to work for a while and then look for a p/t job closer to home. However, the baby thing just hasn't happened. We've now been ttc for 16 months with no success. We've had initial tests which have all come back clear and I'm having a lap&dye in the next few months. I'm also seeing a reflexologist and it's only really since I started seeing her in Feb that I've realised just how stressful work has been and how unhappy it's made me. I'm convinced this has been a huge factor in stopping me from conceiving.
But, as other teachers will tell you, you have to plan a lot in advance to get other jobs and I've just been putting it off, putting it off, hoping I'll get pg, so that I won't miss out on my mat ebenfits which are excellent at my present school.
My reflexologist asked me to think recently if maybe the ttc thing was a way of my body or even something other than me (maybe even something spiritual?!!!) telling me the time isn't right and that I need to 'listen' to what else life can give me at the moment, rather than thinking that I have to be in control the whole time, which obviously hasn't working for me at the moment.
So I've bitten the bullet. I saw a p/t job advertised which is local and went to see the school the other day. It's less money but travelling costs will be down and there may be opportunities to do extra stuff there. I've decided I'm going to apply. If I get it, I have to hand my notice in by May 31st to start in Sept.
The 'worst' thing that could happen is that I get pg in the next few months and have to come clean to the new school, but I figured that worse things happen at sea and we'll just cope with what happens.
I feel very nervous at the thought of leaving my old school behind as it's been such a big part of my life but I also feel very excited and like a weight's been lifted.
Perhaps the moral of the story should be that life doesn't always take us where we think we want to go. I stepped back out of a situation which was almost making me ill with stress and something else practically fell in my lap. Of course, there's no guarantee I'll actually get the new job, but the Head of dept seemed very keen that I apply after talking to him and I guess if it's meant to be, it'll happen. If not, then something else will come along. I feel like I'm in the back seat, letting someone else drive for a bit and it doesn't seem half as scary as I thought it would.
Phew, Sorry this has been long! Needed to get it off my chest.

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 02/05/2004 20:43

Sounds like you're doing the right thing. Well done!

bbensley · 02/05/2004 20:43

OOOOH Good Luck!

{{{big hugs{}}}}

nikcola · 02/05/2004 20:47

good luck XXXx

tanzie · 02/05/2004 20:52

Good for you. Join us in the bar and we'll drink to your future!

Hulababy · 02/05/2004 20:52

Well done Moomin. Go for it

I have just handed in my notice for current school as situation had gotten to stressful. I am going to do supply work for a year or two instead though. Less stable and maybe not as much money but, as you say, worth it.

BTW when I left my first job and went to this current one I feel pg at start of the summer holidays, after 15 months of ttc (following a mc after previos 14 months of ttc). HoD at first school was being a nightmare by time I left and I think stress contributed then. Must have concieved in last week's of school term - when more relaxed! The new school were great about the pg though

Mirage · 02/05/2004 20:53

Hi Moomin,

I could have written a very similar post a few years ago.Only I was in a job I didn't really like,but had done for years with great maternity benefits.I had been ttc for years & only after the last tests came back saying that there was no physical reason for our infertility,did I get up the nerve to make a decision.

I gave up my job,with all its benefits ect,as I reasoned that there was no point in staying for the maternity benefits ect,if I never got pregnant anyway.I became self employed,started acupuncture & within 4 months was pregnant.Pretty remarkable after 3.5 years of nothing.

I am convinced that it was giving up my job plus acupuncture which finally did the trick.To be honest,I was so over the moon about the baby,that the stingy maternity allowance that self employed people get,didn't even bother me in the end.

Whew-I've gone on a bit.I just wanted to let you know that you are right,something will always come along.It is scary,letting go of the reins & letting fate take a hand though,especially if you,like me,are used to being in control of things.I am positive that everything will work out just right for you.

serenequeen · 02/05/2004 20:56

good for you, fingers crossed for the job application

Moomin · 02/05/2004 21:07

Thanks for your lovely support. Yes, it does feel like the right thing! You're so right, Mirage and it seems so obvious, but what's the point of excellent maternity benefits if you've no maternity!
Hulababy - I was hoping you'd post. I followed your decision-making about your present situation with interest. Tell me more about getting pg with the new job looming - how did you tell them and when?

OP posts:
Hulababy · 02/05/2004 21:15

Moomin. Best decision I have ever made

I found out I was og in the first week of the school holidays, so was about 8 or 9 weeks pg when I started at the new school. I hadn't had a scan by then as it wasn't until 16 weeks. But I had terrible morning sickness being sick on and off throughout the day.

Because of that really I told the head the first week back - to get it over with. He was lovely about it and very supportive. On about the 3rd or 4th week I had to have a week off - signed off by MW as very faint from sickness, and even then there were no problems at all I just knocked on the head's door one morning and told him - explained about the mc and the fact that we had had problems, and that this was a big suprose (nice one) for us too - slight lie as we were not activily avoiding ttc IYSWIM. He and the deputy head congratulated me and sdaid not to worry about it. The deputy also hinted at the fact that I would be able to go PT if I wanted, etc too.

Maybe the had ideas of the problems the school had ahead - re failing, etc. - and were desperate to keep everyone on their side

Hulababy · 02/05/2004 21:17

Oh, forgot to mention the maternity bit.

I had moved LEAs. Ihadn't worked ebough weeks at that LEA to get SMP so I got maternity allowance instead. This is paid at exactly the same rate as SMP and for same number of weeks. I also got full teacher's maternity pay as I had continous service. So good deal all round.

Moomin · 02/05/2004 21:57

Cheers - this has really helped me.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 02/05/2004 21:59

No problems

I hope it all goes well for you. Fingers crossed with the application.

And if this doesn't go your way why not apply for other local jobs? Look at FT posts too but in your covering letter mention that you want them to consider it as a PT basis. I have done this and got 2 interviews. One school phoned up and were really positive about it. Never actually went to interviews in the end as made decsion to do supply and have some time out instead, but worth a shot

gingerbear · 02/05/2004 22:50

Good on you Moomin for taking the plunge. It's hard isn't it, when you are in a 'comfort zone' and know you need to get out for the sake of your future life.
I also like to be in control, and found myself in a similar position to you 18 months ago when I went back to work after having DD . I got out of a bad situation and now I have very little control over my working life, but lots more control in the rest of it!
I am an engineer and was in a very male environment, I was commuting 40 miles to work and trying to fit 5 days into 3 - too stressful. So I asked for a transfer closer to home, took a huge pay cut, and now have a role with much less responsibility (control??) I am sad in some ways, since I worked hard to get to my previous position, but much relieved in others.

I hope things work out for you.

Moomin · 02/05/2004 23:00

but it doesn't necessarily have to stay like this, though, gingerbear, does it? The way I see it, we're trying to do our best for us and our families at the moment and, yes, that may mean we sacrifice/compromise on what we have achieved outside of the family. But our kids won't be little forever and maybe we'll be able to pick up where we left off (or somewhere similar) sometime in the future?
Thanks for your comments - nice to know others are in the same boat.

OP posts:
fairyprincess · 02/05/2004 23:35

Good luck Moomin - I wish you all the best

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread