Interview but not sure if I could take the job

[Bilberry]

I have been a SAHM for 9 years but recently applied for a job. It seemed to tick so many boxes and fitted my qualifications very well. Half time too so I thought should fit around school. I have now been offered an interview but am not sure if I could do it due to childcare. Now I look more closely (and did a bit of research as not described fully in job description) it seems to require working late every other week plus occasional travel. My dh is in a high-powered job so couldn't always pick up from after school club. Not sure if one evening a week is enough to attract a nanny. Generally having lots of wobbles especially round childcare....

I think that's normal! I'd contact them to clarify the hours before going for interview.

That's part of the interview though. Its not just for them to check you out, but also for you to check them out. Ask the questions in the interview regarding the hours and what will be involved. Even if they offered you the job there is nothing to say you have to take it.

Wobbles are only natural too. It would be more worrying not to have wobbles. You obviously want what's best for your children so its going to be the main priority when looking for work.

"My dh is in a high-powered job so couldn't always pick up from after school club" - but it's only once every other week? Twice a month? Surely your dh would do that? And if on one really awkward day he couldn't have you any emergency back up? Family or friend?

If you're going to stop being a sahm then the reality is that your dh's high powered job cannot be completely and utterly unaffected. He will occasionally have to cover emergency childcare and two after-school pick ups a month isn't really much of an ask.
Surely there are people at your dh's place of work who don't have a stay at home partner?

My DH wouldn't be able to pick up either, and because he earns much more than me he would never take a day off to look after DC if they were I'll.

I manage by getting friends/relatives to help out. Could you find a childminder for the late evenings? I'm sure there must be someone happy to nanny for the hours you need.

How else do single parents do it?

My dh said he would do it once a month but twice a month would probably be too much as he has to work late a lot (we don't normally count it as late unless it is after 7pm, starting at 7:30am, fortunately shortish commute). He earns a lot more than I will. No family round here either. Friends will do emergencies but not much else. I think I will try and investigate nannies but hours are certainly a question for interview. Thanks.

I have to do a presentation too...

When I went for my current job, I presumed there was an after school club for DS2....there wasn't! I really wanted the job though, so was forced to ask around. I wouldn't normally ask anyone to do any thing for me, and one friend quite happily had DS everyday after school for a year, and totally refused any payment or gifts from me. Don't under estimate people.

What will you do about school holidays?

Go for it!
Investigate the logistics but give the interview everything you've got. You won't know till you get there what the hours/culture is really like. Your dh may have to help a bit in the first couple of weeks - maybe he could take some annual leave? But once your into the routine it'll be fine.
Look at after-school child minders maybe? It doesn't seem like quite enough hours for a nanny.

Don't mention school holidays! . That will be holiday camps and I will work half of the rest of the year to pay for it! If they offer me the job they would have to wait until after my summer holiday to start but at least it wouldn't come from annual leave then. I have 3 dc so too much to ask of a friend informally. No childminders round here. Could get an au pair but don't like the idea if a live in one. PT nanny would be best but may not be enough hours to attract someone unless they are filling a gap. Have to do some research methinks! Will go to the interview and if we can't make it work I can consider it good practise.

Hi OP

Firstly congrats on securing an interview after a number of years out of the workplace. From reading this board I know it isn't easy.

As somebody external to your situ...could I ask? Can DH really not do any more than 1 pick up a month?

I just recall a guest blog on MN a while back (cannot link easily as on the app) which suggested that the drive for equality was being hampered by the unwillingness of men to be seen asking for flexibility at work as they were worried about the impact on their careers.

I also wonder how life will be for you with 3 DC, a new job and having to do all the childcare/school runs - I assume.

9 years is a long time for yr DH and his employers to get used to him not having to worry about childcare issues.

However, if you want to re-start yr career, it would be helpful (for you & your employer) if he is able to play a more active role....

Sorry I don't mean to sound preachy, I just wanted to probe if there was really no way for you to gain more support.

Things are not perfect for me but DH and I share the childcare runs. He works for one of the big 4 etc.

On to your actual question. I would go to the interview - it will be useful practice if nothing else.

Re help. You will be amazed at what people are out there looking for 'quirky' hours. I generally find if you are willing to pay there is a solution. Gumtree could be a good place.

Best of luck at the interview.

Thanks. I agree dh has had a long time to get used to not having to compromise his job and I sometimes think I should have gone back to work earlier for that very reason! He is a part-owner of his business and does masses of evening work and business development (dinners, seminars etc. not drinking) a lot of which tends to be on the day I would have to work late. TBH his attitude of putting his business first is one of the reasons I feel I need to go back to work to get my own identity. On the other hand, this is what keeps the business going and if he couldn't do it his income could drop further than my wage would make up. Also I think some of the time he genuinely can't get out of evening meetings.

You are right though, I should be getting him to take on more of the support.

Could you see if you could come to some arrangement with friends doing pick up once a month in exchange for you looking after their dc either evenings or holidays?

Is after school club walking distance from home? If so, the easiest solution would be to find an adult babysitter who would collect the dc from ASC, and take them back to your house. Then you could just book them for when your dh can't do pick up - though I'd be asking him to put it in his diary as a recurring appointment so that if possible he always does the pickup and if he can't he is the one that makes the alternative arrangement.

Have you got room for an au pair? Perfect for the hours you describe.

What did you decide OP? Have you had the interview?

Interview is on Friday so I will leave worrying about childcare till after then. Having said that, I did put their name down for after school club but the waiting list is long so I am not hopeful on that one as I need three spaces. Au pair would probably make the most sense and we have a room but not keen on someone living in.

Good luck OP. As you say worry about the how afterwards.

Let us know how you get on.

Didn't get it. Other candidate was a bit more experience, but they did say I was appoint-able if there wasn't the other candidate which is nice. Feel dissappointed and but a bit relieved because of the worry about organising childcare. Mostly just glad I didn't make a fool of myself at interview. First question was 'tell us about your recent work' so not great for someone who hasn't worked for years and I did feel my 'evidence' was a bit old. It did also feel more of a step up from my last job so I am chuffed I did as well as I did.

I will wait until after the summer and keep an eye out for other jobs (though they are unlikely to match my skill-set as closely as this one).

Sorry to hear that. Sounds like you did a good interview - well done.

Onwards & upwards.