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Original poster

how soon after birth have you gone back to work?

31 replies

scubamum2b · 02/05/2004 16:30

I have several contract work, and one that I have done for many years (that also pays very well and I enjoy) would be about a month after my due date. My husband gets very generous paternity leave that could cover this period to look after baby.

Is it possible, physically and emotionally, to return to work for a short period of time (approx 3 or 4wks) so soon after giving birth.

As you probably guessed this will be my first child, so your comments are welcome

OP posts:
hercules · 02/05/2004 16:32

If your dh is looking after then yes. I would have neen well enough to do so and i would have missed dd like hell but dd would have been fine.

mears · 02/05/2004 16:39

You will be pretty knackered and hormonal so I don't think it is that achievable to be honest. I couldn't have done it but some women have. Will you not get maternity leave which is paid?

LadyMuck · 02/05/2004 16:46

Depends on your birth, and how prompt an appearance your baby makes. How true, I'm not sure, but apparently first babies can be later. And whilst your birth might be very straightforward, not all are. You also won't have had a full nights sleep since before the birth....

It's not impossible, but I'd say that there is at least a 40% chance that you won't feel up to it....not least you could have say a 2 week old baby born by emergancy c-section, so you wouldn't be driving etc.

LadyMuck · 02/05/2004 16:47

PS scubamum2b, Mears is a "resident" midwife - definitely worth listening to!

Hulababy · 02/05/2004 16:49

Good points Ladymuck. My DD (first and only) was born 2 weeks late by emergency CS. Although I was out of hospital 3 days later I was not able to drive for 6 weeks, taking iron tablets for 4 weeks due to anemia from blood loss, and DD was still up several times in the night. And at that stage I was breast feeding.

So, although it is possible, there is no way either physically or emotionally I would have been able to go back to work 4 weeks after my due date.

katierocket · 02/05/2004 16:54

woman I work with was back in work after 2 days after her third child!! however, she a) has a fulltime nanny to help her b) owns the company so wasn't in full time but just for the odd day here and there.

would it be fulltime scubamum? I think you will find it hard with your first as there is such a lot to learn and it's such a shock to the system. (in a nice way too!)

WideWebWitch · 02/05/2004 17:11

Can you negotiate so the contract starts later scubamum2b? I'd say 3 months after the birth is maybe achievable and a bit more realistic but you never know how you'll feel until you're there really. Everyone's different. Agree, it is worth bearing in mind that you will probably be knackered. If you can't renegotiate the contract could you say a provisional yes with the proviso that you'll have to see how you feel at the time?

moodyzebra · 02/05/2004 17:18

Is it part-time or full-time, Scubamum2b? I say that because I was doing bits and pieces when my 2nd baby was 2 weeks old... but only 1 day/week while she slept and the 2yo was in nursery. So I know it's possible if part-time, but I couldn't have done full time myself so early.

sibble · 02/05/2004 17:24

will you need to leave home to go into the office? I went back when DS was 6 weeks old after an emergencey c/s but he was able to come with me, I only did short hours in teh office and alot of comupter work wen breastfeeding during the night. Having said that I was permanently tired, my milk dried up and I found it incredibly hard when i did go back full time when he was 4 months old...
I really think you will only know at the time, are they willing to be flexible. I wish I hadn't thought I could be 'wonder woman' and committed myself to returning so early.....

Lisa78 · 02/05/2004 17:28

I wouldn't even think about it tbh, I think you might get a bit of a shock about how you feel when your baby comes I think if you commit to doing this work, you may well feel pressured after the birth. Work will be there for the next 30 or 40 years, your baby will only be a newborn baby for the first few weeks. Sorry, that sounds patronising, which is not how I meant it, I just don't want you to miss out on anything in those first few weeks, and I think you might
And it has nothing to do with me being due back at work in 5 weeks, after 7 months maternity leave, and feeling very panicked either

toddlerbob · 02/05/2004 20:43

I'd say no to be honest. On the basis that if it was me and I thought I was fine and I'd missed out on the contract I'd just think "oh, what a shame - I could have done it". But if I wasn't up to it not only would I feel I was letting down my baby, but also my client who was paying good money for an emotional, sleep deprived person. Would doing the contract and not doing a very good job affect your reputation?

2 weeks after ds's birth I could have worked physically - but no way was I ready mentally.

cazzybabs · 02/05/2004 20:59

I couldn't have left my dd so soon after she was born. It was bad enough when she was 3 months and I had to go back to work. Am now wondering wether I can do it again or wether to take my full six months off.

tanzie · 02/05/2004 21:02

I went back after about 8 weeks with DD1 and was desperate to get back to work (she was horrible baby ). Much longer with DD2 (think she was about 4 months) and didn't want to go back at all. Depends on birth, baby, bonding, breastfeeding...

Chelle · 03/05/2004 04:27

I went back to fulltime, paid out of the home employment when DS was 11 weeks old. I could hardly manage to get dressed in the morning when he was 3-4 weeks old! Sleep deprived, trouble breastfeeding...wouldn't have been much good to an employer! However, 5 days after DD was born I was working roughly 20 hours per week from home. When DD was 7 days old I drove 145 km to the next large town, then spent the entire day in meetings. DD was with my Mum outside all day and I had to stop the meeting every few hours to feed her(I also had lots of leaks, so had to keep my jacket on all day even though I was boiling hot!). I didn't go back to out of the home paid employment (and then only 3 days per week) until DD was 5 months old.

Overall I wouldn't say it would be impossible but it's likely to be very, very hard work and incredibly exhausting so think long and hard about whether it will be worth it!

Grommit · 03/05/2004 07:48

I think you need at least 3 months off to recover physically and emotionally and to get to know your baby. I work fulltime and couldn't wait to get back after dd but there is so much adjusting you need to do within yourself I don't think you would be ready

oliveoil · 04/05/2004 10:27

Good god no, well not me anyway. Dd was 10 days late and I had a section anyway but even so - sleepless nights etc, learning to b/feed or bottle feed and everything else there is to learn, my brain was mush for months. That's not to mention not fitting into any decent clothes and having straw for hair.

Then again celebs do it

Toothache · 04/05/2004 10:38

Jeeeeeeeeesus! No way could I have done that with DS. He was 18wks old when I went back and even then I thought it was too soon. The problem with planning for this when it's your 1st baby is that you forget that you may really really REALLY want to stay with you baby. The hormones and rife and the emotions are indescribably wonderful.

A girl I know is planning to go back when her baby is 2 wks old! She says she will be so bored sitting about in the house on her own(??). I think she is forgetting that she will be a new Mum and will have a gorgeous baby there to look after and fuss over and fall in love with..... DEFINITELY no time to be bored.

Emotionally and physically I couldn't have returned sooner. I didn't stop bleeding until he was 6wks old. And the wave of excited visitors had just about stopped by then. This time I'm being much more realistic about it and leaving my options open.

Original poster
scubamum2b · 04/05/2004 11:03

thank you all for your messages. There is still part of me that want preganacy/baby not to stop me doing what I normal do.

With the company the work is required for deadlines that could at most be shifted only by days. It would be difficult to do most of the work at home, even if the files were allowed to leave the office. The other comment about (not) driving after a c-sec certainly puts a damper on the idea as public transport is a joke. Given the uncertainty of when the baby will make an appearance and the poss of a c-sec I can not plan to work with certainty, so reluctantly I will have to turn the work down for this year.

A few years ago I was told that you can not plan children, and I am learning the menaing of that - like getting pregnant at the start, not the end of the dive season (no diving this year )

OP posts:
Toothache · 04/05/2004 11:43

Scubamum2b - I was rebelled against my 1st pregnancy. I couldn't believe that this baby was controlling what I ate/drank/position I slept in... before he was even born! I wanted a baby so much, but still firmly believed that it didn't have to change my life THAT much. But it did... and always will, but I realised when I saw his wee face that it didn't mean that was a bad thing... just different. I had associated the changes a baby would make to my life as some sort of drawback...a negative thing. But it wasn't. And most of the changes were things I should've changed a long time before. It just changes your priorities and the completely alters the way you see things.

It is very true that you can never plan things like childbirth.

The 2nd time around I was all ready to start trying after Christmas. I had hated being pg with DS over the festive period, so wanted to plan this one much better.... hmmm.... fell pregnant 3mths ahead of schedule and was 7wks pg at Christmas and in the full grip of morning sickness. I felt much less rebellious this time and realise that all these restrictions are very temporary and you do get some normality back in your life.

Enjoy your pregnancy and your new baby.... it all passes so quickly.

(can you tell I'm pregnant and hormonal??? )

hatter · 04/05/2004 14:05

Hi Scubamum2b,

I know where you're coming from about changes to your life. I get the impression - by your use of "reluctantly" that you see this as "giving in". I've been there too (haven't we all?) Not sure if I'm sticking my neck out here but - if you do decide to turn the work down - you should feel positive about it. Instead of saying that you are doing this reluctantly, instead of feeling that you have been boxed into a corner, see it as a rational decision you have made, based on sound information and advice that you actively sought, that you've based it on your choice of priorities (being able to honour a commitment; being able to do the job well; spending time with your new baby; your own health etc). The fact is you could commit to this work but your personal priorities lead you to choose not to.

Another thing is that you will be amazed how quickly the coming years will go (my eldest is now 4, youngest 2). Making a change to your lifestyle in the first weeks, months, years of their life doesn't have to be a permanent change.In fact it can't be coz every age and stage is different and you'll be permanently changing your life. What I mean is don't think that turning down work in the first weeks is setting some sort of pattern for the rest of their lives.

Good luck, whatever you decide, enjoy your baby and make sure you get looked after.

dinosaur · 04/05/2004 14:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

wishingchair · 05/05/2004 11:34

i can only tell you my experience but my babe was 9 days late for a start and 3/4 weeks after she was born I was:

  • completely and utterly knackered
  • still often found in bed with dd asleep in arms when Des & Mel were starting
  • an emotional wreck liable to crumple into floods of tears at the mere prospect of one day dd going to school and what if she got bullied, and other such bizarre worries
  • still bleeding and dealing with engorged and leaky breasts
  • still in bloody maternity clothes. Only after spending a week or so at my mum's and being completely looked after did I start to feel human again.

And mine was a completely normal trouble free birth - in and out of hospital within 24 hours.

But we're all different!

wishingchair · 05/05/2004 11:37

By the way - I actually ended up having a year of mat leave and coming back part time. Originally I was having 5 months and going back full time.

Perspective on life does change once you get that baby in your arms.

Blackduck · 05/05/2004 11:52

scubamum2b I had four months off with ds (and was desparate to go back...) I too didn't want baby to change what I did in my life, but he did and quite frankly I think its unavoidable, you are about to become a mother....its a life changing event. As for going back early I second all those here who say you will be knackered, hormonal etc. Besides the fact I was so shellshocked by the change I couldn't have strung a coherent sentence together.....

iota · 05/05/2004 12:05

I know someone who went back to work about a week after she had her baby - she took him with her. She said she was bored at home.

Me? I had the full 6 months off both times and was glad of it (ds2 didn't sleep through the night till he was 8 months old.)