Gross dismissal - what do I do about a reference?

[Snowballschanceinhell]

I've gotten myself into a bit of a pickle at work. Chances are I will be dismissed if I don't get there first and resign, but I have to also accept that they may not allow me to resign and that even in my absence, I will be summarily dismissed.

Unfortunately, I have been with this company for the past eight years, making it difficult to use my previous employer.

What are the options in terms of a reference? Is it better to quit and try to temp/find another job so I can build up a reference from somewhere else?

Sorry, that should have said gross misconduct

Try to negotiate your own exit, with one of the conditions that you get a pre agreed referance.
Without knowing the specifics it's difficult to be more helpful.

Agree try and negotiate a reference or find a manager who will give you one.

How bad is the situation? Any chance they will agree a neutral reference e.g. confirm length of service and salary?

If not, is there a friendly manager you can give as a reference who will say something positive if contacted? (usually against company protocol but you have to earn a crust)

If you escape with a warning it will drop off your record after a certain time so best solution is to stay the course if that's an option.

First thought is to try and negotiate my own exit but not sure what to do if the company policy is to disclose reasons for leaving - as if I leave now, it will be during the investigation, therefore they could write 'left pending an investigation' which is almost as bad, if not worse, than dismissal.

If I DO stay the course, it will be a very bad working atmosphere which I will be forced to tolerate for a year until this falls off my record.

Option 1 is looking more and more likely!

You go to them and you basically say that you'd like to speak 'without prejudice' (i.e. off the record). You explain that you are willing to negotiate an agreed exit, not expecting a pay off but would like a neutral reference. You present and agree wording. Something like "Snow worked at x from Date to Date2 in the position of JobTitle. We do not comment further on requests for references."

How formally you document the agreement is kind of up to you.

Just to add but if you do resign, you will not be entilted to any benefit for 26 weeks. Have you got a job to walk into or savings to rely on?

I was being investigated for an issue at work many years ago ( I was guilty).
I resigned after speaking to HR and my boss's boss who agreed that any references would just say worked x to y and resigned . I found a new job straight away and never had any issues getting jobs after that either.
I wasn't going to claim any benefits though so that didn't matter.

It will be a lot less hassle for them if you resign, so there is a good chance of them doing what Hoppinggreen's employer did.