gobsmacked at the rudeness!

[airedailleurs]

Not sure how to deal with this one. I'd like to address it at work tomorrow but don't want to get it wrong. Advice welcome please!

I am the only woman working in a small investment management firm and have a p.a./admin type role. I normally work in the mornings only, but was asked to work this afternoon as there are very few people in my office and we had a meeting with important visitors and my boss wanted the office to look 'busy'. So, I changed my schedule for the day and planned to stay until 4pm, also to help serve refreshments.

Half way through the meeting, one of the guests and one of my colleagues came out of the meeting room into the main office to get something from the kitchen. My colleague introduced the other employee who was in the main office with me to the guest, but even though I had just got some drinks from the fridge for the guest and was standing right in front of him, my colleague completely ignored me and didn't introduce me!!

WWYD? AIBU to be seriously p*ed off?

It was rude.

Fair enough in a 1000 employee workplace you wouldn't introduce a client to every person they passed but it seems you were literally the only person missed out.

What was the role of the other person that he did introduce? I think you are over thinking it and putting focus on you. I expect your colleague felt the important visitor didn't need to be introduced to admin. Did they win the bid?/get the business? It does all sound a bit amateurish that you were brought in to make the office look busy. I would not make a fuss about this but agree it would have been nicer if he had introduced you.

TheClacksAreDown
You're overthinking this. In the nicest possible way you are support staff and indeed were specifically acting in this role. If you've got a client or business associate coming in they may be interested to be introduced to other business folk but will not be interested in you I'm afraid

Disagree. when I'm trying to set up meetings or get in touch with my external contacts their PA is the first port of call. I make it my business to say hello to them and exchange pleasantries when I'm visiting their offices.

The best boss I have ever had and head of that organisation: the first person he introduced me to when I came into the building for my pre-interview visit was the cleaner/relief caretaker.

My current, equally fantastic boss: introduced me to the receptionist as the very first thing I did on my first day.

I would raise it, albeit very professionally. The client has chosen your small organisation so doesn't expect a faceless corporate.

Oh and much as I think it was rude, I wouldn't necessarily make a deal of it. I'd mention it in conversation to the person. "oh how did the meeting with x go? How come you didn't introduce us?"

yes, Down (another Father Ted fan here), I just don't want to go about it the wrong way today and make myself look pathetic! I think the jokey approach would work best tbh, knowing the person involved...

So what grade /status is the person he did Introduce? Was it a male or female? If both of you thought it off you should speak together to whomever is the most senior in the company assuming it's not the rudeness who ignored you.

It was rude, and if I was the guest I would have assumed the company either doesn't value women or doesn't value less senior staff. It's the business version of noticing that a date is rude to the waiter - it does colour your perception of them.

As an aside, a senior woman in business once told me she never ever helps pass drinks around, as she's often the only woman in the room, and it immediately casts her in the "service" or "mummy" role, however much more senior she is than the men present.

Just seen your post if jokey way is best wait till he asks you to do something and joke that he can see you now can he? Did I have my invisibility cloak on yesterday?

ArcheryAnnie I was the only woman working in a small finance firm and chose not to learn to use the coffee machine (I don't drink coffee myself) my reasoning being that if I did I would end up doing it all the time. As woman in the office I was expected to do all kinds of jobs that my other colleagues, even more junior ones, were not expected to do. In a small company with no admin support everyone needs to muck in, but in reality I had to stand my ground an awful lot.

OP in small companies every face needs a name. It is important to clients and reflects well on the company. I don't think you are being unreasonable, it was rude and dismissive of you, and as a client I would have been uncomfortable in his position too.

I would probably, however, just let it go, maybe making a joke as someone upthread said. It is annoying, but I wouldn't make it an issue iyswim.

ok, update...my colleague showed up this morning all bright and breezy and the first thing he did was thank me for my help yesterday...I think he realised what he'd done and it was his way of apologising.

In the same vein, we have just had our office refurbished and when I was interviewing a fit-out firm for the job, I was explaining that we needed a small kitchen/teapoint and their main guy actually said "Oh you'll be looking after that won't you" I think I said something like "no the cleaner will", but can you imagine what sort of person would think that was an acceptable thing to say to a potential client??!!

hi, OP - so did you actually say anything about this to your colleague or did you let it go on the basis that his thank you was shorthand for an apology?

for the moment I've let it go as he went straight into a conversation with the other managers about something... I will mention it when I get the chance later. At least he has realised his mistake .