Repercussions for being pregnant?

[Skiptonlass]

I work for a large global company - my boss is based in the USA, but I work in Europe. There's no one who could manage me in Europe as I'm the most senior member of my team based here.

For the last couple of years I've had to politely but firmly put my foot down to protect my team, as the U.S. Division has no concept of time zones and thinks it's perfectly acceptable for us to be working a full day in EU time as well as 3am calls to Asia and then us staying late to accomodate the USA. The USA team do not work out of hours. There's also been plenty of passive aggressive bitching about 'all the holidays' the EU team get.

So while I've done right by my team, and we have been incredibly flexible working all these extra hours for no pay, I'm certainly not managements favourite lapdog ;) I'm ok with that, as long as I'm treated fairly and my team are having their employment rights protected.

Anyway. Now I'm pregnant. They've never dealt with maternity leave before (the U.S. Team get back to work after a few weeks) and I'm already being sidelined, left out of important communications etc. I'm absolutely livid about this, but there's very little concrete stuff for me to document, even though the overall pattern of it is very clear.

How do I deal with this? My boss is distant, often cancelling or not showing up to our scheduled catch up meetings? She refuses to listen to my concerns, and flips all emails back to me with attacking comments about my abilities which are nothing to do with the email I sent. I'm perturbed by this unprofessional behaviour. If I calmly rebut her points in an email and refocus on the original concern, she has requested for me to delete and take back the email. She has her favourites on the team and gives them the plum tasks, which is irritating. I'm extremely competent at my job and I've built a highly professional cohesive team in Europe....but this is beginning to grate.

So basically, how do I deal with a young, unworldly boss who has zero social skills but is extremely close to our senior management, can do no wrong by them, plays favourites and freezes me out? i can't go to her boss, as they are firm friends, so there's no upwards appeal here. I need solid tips for, basically, managing her!

Bump?

Sounds difficult. Given that it's a large company do they have HR policies you can refer to about your position going on maternity leave? Do they have people in other parts of the world with more generous maternity arrangements than the US?

Oh we have HR policies and legal protections coming out of our ears.. They just ignore them. And their attitude is "you're fired, try suing us."

Everywhere has more generous leave than the U.S. ;) but that's exactly the problem. My boss is now demanding to know when I will be going on my "extended" maternity leave (the word "extended" was spat at me several times,") I replied that no, I wouldn't be having an extended leave, just one in line with non-USA/ European norms.

To which she replied, "so a month?"

I should say that this woman uses the word extended very pointedly. A week's vacation is "extended leave" for example.

How on earth am I going to keep my career afloat with this insular, clueless woman as my boss??

To be honest, if that's her attitude you are going to struggle. And how will you feel about 3am calls to Asia when you have a baby?

As a professional working mother myself I know how important it is to work in an organisation that is willing to recognise that you do have a life outside work and need to balance commitments. Not what you want to hear right now though - sorry!

No I think you're right. I think my only realistic option is to get things in motion to move on. I can stick it out a bit longer and perhaps move to a different department once I'm back from mat leave.

The crazy thing is I work in a country with great childcare that does allow women to stay in the workforce. Unlike where she is, where many are forced into being unwilling sahm s (nothing wrong with being an sahm, of course, but not good to be forced into it if you don't want to!)

The evil part of my brain hopes she finds herself knocked up ;)

Can you reach out to your bosses boss?

No, she's very buddy-buddy with my boss. My boss is her protege and can do no wrong.

I can't see how this situation, as you describe it, will be sustainable. even if you want to, and are perfectly capable, sticking it out long-term, the constant defense against the unrealistic expectations will take its toll. and think of the energy you'll expend there that could be put to much more constructive use. the negative energy you'll be trying to protect yourself from, etc etc.

for me, i'd be documenting everything and BCC'ing in a non-work email address, following up with "helpful summaries" to verbal discussions if they take on a certain flavour.

and look for an alternative employer over the longer-term too.