"You've just been on holiday"

[Freesia2013]

Hello, I'm back to work after six month maternity leave (maximum entitled to) next week in a male dominated workplace.

I know I'll be met with a number of comments assumed to be banter but will just grind my gears such as "but you've just had a six month holiday", "she's suffering from baby brain", and lots of others I can't even imagine.

I need witty comebacks ready to put them back in their place.

As if going back to work isn't going to be hard enough already, I'm dreading having to deal with this type of thing too

Many thanks!

I found the "I've come back to work for a rest" retort quite a good one. Witty, not defensive yet quite insulting really. Other than that I would just laugh and try not to rise to it.

No witty comebacks but I went back part time and get a lot of "enjoy your long weekend" and "did you have a good long weekend" etc like I've been on holiday or something when actually looking after my dd is harder work than actual work!!

Good luck anyway! Looking forward to hearing some witty responses that I can use too!

Ps. I may be wrong but thought maximum entitlement was a year (although part unpaid?)

I think "I've come back to work for a nice rest" is good. Honestly, I wouldn't engage too much with it - you won't convince your prehistoric colleagues, and if you get at all heated it'll just be further evidence that you are an over-emotional hormonal baby machine.

Or - oh yes you know you can take a paternity holiday when you have a child. It's so great you should totally do it :)

Thanks not UK so not a year leave or shared paternity.

Yes think best to not rise to it but I can imagine easier to do if I've had a good night's sleep - which isn't that consistent at the moment.

But I'm sure it'll be fine!

Report them to HR for sexism in the workplace?

How about "Have you ever looked after a baby full time?" ...

I'd avoid the "come back to work for a rest" retort lest they think that you're not sufficiently engaged with the job (possible, if they are sexist gits)
I just raised my eyebrows when people said that and if they persisted with such 'banter', gave them The Stare. They soon figured out it wasn't working.

Ornyou could tell them how fab your hpls were - and horrify them with graphic descriptions of childbirth, explosive diarrihea, projectile vomit etc...

Haha like the last suggestion

My fave put down is "if it were easier to stay at home and look after the children, you'd be doing the part-time employment".