How to handle questions about my 'family situation' in interviews

[kapai]

I had an interview a few weeks ago and was asked about my family situation and if I had children.

This was because the role involved some travel. It's not the first time I've been asked and I know it is illegal. I can't help but notice that when I'm asked, I have never been offered the role. This time I said that there was no problem, that my husband was fully on board and as long as it wasn't at short notice it was fine.

I finally found out today that I didn't get the role and am really disappointed.

So how do I handle it next time?

Strictly speaking I don't think the question is illegal providing all candidates are asked it. However, I somehow doubt they did actually ask all candidates.

Can you get some feedback on why you weren't successful?

This is the classic 'damned if you do' situation. If you answer the question asked, they know you have children and will decide accordingly. If you say 'I'm not sure why that's relevant to the job?' you will be written off as bolshy. Which sort of leaves the option of a flat out lie 'I do not have children', which is ridiculous. But may be your only option.

Kapai, maybe they just needed somebody who could travel at short notice. Have you asked for feedback?

It's not illegal to ask the question as long as they ask it of everyone they interview.

Getting feedback tomorrow.

What I actually said was that if I was asked to travel 'tomorrow' it might be difficult. They responded that I would be in charge of my own diary.

This one was a very odd interview without any structure. The interviewer asked me four times if I had any questions. I had three then, stopped as he was looking at his watch after 40 mins.

But I reckon I've been asked about children 4 times on the last few years. I'd really like to find a way to handle it.

I've done a couple of interviews recently and the interviewer has been very careful not to ask, even when it really was necessary for them to know. They don't need to actually ask about family though, they could just ask, can you travel at short notice?

IMO, if the interviewer is that poor, you don't want the job anyway!

For the future , just tell them what they want to hear and deal with the realities once you know what they are.

I was asked about a staying on after hours at work and whether this was a problem. Nothing about whether collecting the DC would be a problem (they knew i had children as I had put it as my reason for leaving a job)

This really bugs me when this is asked!

You should reply something along the lines of being a highly organised person with a strong support network around you. Give them a short defined answer but don't go into detail about your childcare arrangements as it's non of their business

If asked 'can you travel?' Just answer 'yes' (assuming that's true).

Don't qualify the statement or expand on it re your childcare arrangements. Just 'yes' with a confident smile.

Thanks all. I've had some feedback and it sounds like the other candidates had more experience in one particular area than me.

I'm still cross about being asked though, as I know it is against the organisation's policy and guidelines even if it isn't illegal. It definitely threw me in the interview.

Next time I will be prepared.

They should just ask if you can travel at short notice not ask about family arrangements even if they are asking everyone, as the question would disadvantage only certain people.

Good luck with other opportunities. Job hunting myself after redundancy.