How to deal with the stress

[StressingMeOut]

Since some of this is work related I am posting here but not sure if it should be elsewhere. I have also name changed in case I have to go into further detail.

Have had an epiphany in that I have now realized after a year that some of my health issues are almost definitely stress related. I don't want to be signed off sick as since no one does my job when I am off this would only add to the stress.

My boss is lovely and isn't the problem and to be honest is going through a lot more stress than I am

How I can I help myself? I am sat here almost in tears (not helped by the wine which seems to go up in relation to the amount of stress) at the thought of going in tomorrow.

Do you think your stress is all/mostly job related? Is it amount of work, type of work, type of customers?

Ideally the best way to reduce stress is to remove the cause. Unfortunately not always practical (& in the extreme, quitting a job with no onward plan could cause more stress of a different type).

So if removing stress isn't an option, you need to look at coping mechanisms, eg doing breathing exercises between seeing difficult clients, making sure you switch off from work in the evenings and weekends and do something for you (exercise, going out, a hobby etc) - anything different that will stop you thinking about the stresses at work.

Thanks for replying

It is mostly work related. If I wasn't so stressed out at work I wouldn't be so stressed at home. Don't know about others but I find problems at home hard to deal with as all my energy is being used to deal with work.

To clarify I am employed one organisation but actually work in (not for) another organisation. I am finding that the powers that be (not my boss) in the second organisation just seem to be add more to my stress.

Work load is horrendous and it is a job where you never know all of it so you are constantly trying to find answers.

I hope you don't mind me tagging in but I have a very similar situation so would love to hear advice. Again like op work for one organisation but out with another. Original line manager lovely, seconded who I am supposed to report to not lovely and manipulative. Pretty sure bully.
Can't go off on stress just like op as only one for the organisation. Sorry if hijacking. Just want to see how people suggest to original op. Home life massively effected by work as again drained with it.

Stressing

Do you still get to talk to your real boss. I can talk to mine but it is really difficult as feels like undermining other org and second boss freaks about it and constantly wants to be in every chat. I presume it's in case I say anything

silky80 - tag along. It is always helpful to know others go through the same thing.

My line manager works in the same building as me so I suppose technically I am not on my own but he is not employed as such/in the same way as my employer employs me

He is brilliant but is new to the role and has a huge work load himself. There's not much he can do at the moment and can't do anything to alleviate my load as I can't do his and he can't so mine.

I can't say anything to anyone as I feel disloyal to mention anything.

The ACAS website has a good guide to stress at work and the employers and employees responsibilities. Take a look. You should make your line managers aware that you are experiencing WRS. It is their job to support you in order to avoid impact on your work and wellbeing. I really hope you get the help you need, in my experience it's the most conscientious staff that feel stressed! Good luck.

Thanks Slowtrain2dawn for that. I will have a read.

Would tend to agree with your comment about conscientious workers and stress.

I don't want to say anything as my line manger is under more stress than I am and feel that if I say anything I will be adding to that.

Could a discussion about the stress and their stress not be a way of looking at dealing with it together? I know what you mean and had a similar conversation recently which boils down to my stress is just as important as someone else. We can only look after ourselves really.

We are all under pressure so in a way he is aware but not to how bad I am feeling. I am the sort of person who is always happy at work (odd bit of moaning) so people don't realize the true extent

He is under so much pressure that I feel I can't say anything as that will put under more pressure. Believe me - he does not need any more.

Do you a safe person at work you can talk to, not necessarily a line manager, but someone you can offload to?

We call them dumpings, and just getting your frustrations out with an empathetic person there really helps me.

I've had honest talks with my manager, talked about strategies and triggers - when things get too much I can step away and clear my head for an hour. I feel very lucky to have this!

The stress has sort of convoluted into some quite nasty anxiety attacks, which I'm getting slightly better at managing - the stress doesn't go away but I've learnt to manage it so each wave doesn't leave me feeling floored.

Exercise, cutting out caffeine completely and diet overhaul have really helped. Tools like mindfulness exercise help to balance (but only when in a calm state). Most helpful has been talking to people about it.

I have had periods of extreme work stress and others when I've felt quite calm about things. Looking back, it's never really been the work/workload but other issues on the periphery that have caused the stress.

e.g. a rotten relationship clouding everything else, poor relationships with colleagues making things seem worse than they really were, health worries about me or family members.

Or, the biggest on IMO, me making a bigger deal of things than I should have - wanting to be perfect rather than just good enough. I've now got myself to a place where I do my best and it that's not enough, it's because there's something wrong with the job, not me, which makes it much easier to deal with.

Just realized that my last post was under my normal user name so will carry on with that now - you have to be on the ball with name changing!! Don't think I have given too much away

Model5 - thank you for the advice. I do need the coping strategies. Have to say the thought of giving up caffeine is more scary than the stress! I am trying to lose weight so the healthy eating has started

There is someone I can have a rant with but they have handed their notice in! Another one gone. I do have friends outside of work who I can talk to and sometimes they can be better to talk to. They also understand better as they have stressful jobs as well

Timeforabiscuit - I want to be perfect and want to offer a good service and it is just not possible all the time. I know I can only do my best but I need to start actually believing it