Hello all, I am feeling pretty crappy at the mo. I've got three children 14,11 & 5 we were on our own for a long time til I met someone 5* a couple years ago, he's very supportive and an excellent step father. I've been self employed for a couple years doing ironing and cleaning to keep some pennies coming in and keep me busy when the girls are at school. Our youngest started school last September and my mum recently retired we came to a plan that my mum would be willing to help out with the school run and holidays etc if I was to get a job. Money has been a real problem of ours not enough coming in to make ends meet and ex hubby refusing to pay maintenance. I started looking and applying and by some miracle have landed myself a job with prospects working in a bank. It's full time mon-fri though and I am so utterly heartbroken at the thought of not taking my girls to school every day or seeing there faces when I collect them, it's my favourite part of the day I love going into class and helping with the reading or when they go on welly walks, I'm really struggling with the thought of not being able to do that anymore. I don't want them to think I don't care about them,I've spoken to them about it quite a bit but they're probably not realising what it's actually going to be like. I feel shit I feel selfish and guilty and bloody pissed off that we can't afford for me to be at home, we don't live an extravagant lifestyle by ANY stretch of the imagination. There's a bit of me that is looking forward to going back to work, it's been a while and it's an exciting job but.......the girls have always come first and now I feel like I'm putting them second.