Ok I am going to write down my feelings about this and see if anyone has been in a similar situation or has any advice on what I should do.
To say my line manager is difficult is an understatement. A real Jekyll and Hyde Person. Some days she comes in and seems to be in good form and I can make a bit of polite conversation with her and it can be an ok day. Other days she comes in and I know straight away from her voice and her body language that she is in bad form and it is not going to be a good day. She has quite a presence though and if she comes in to the office in bad form it effects everyone and I feel like I am working in a really negative atmosphere. She is my direct line manager though and while others can steer clear of her I have to have some sort of relationship with her. The manager above her is a weak leader. My dh says that he used to work with someone like her and says that people like her are not happy in their own lives and feel the need to take it out on others.
She is unsupportive and untrustworthy. She doesn't communicate effectively with me. I am a good worker. I come in everyday and use my own initiative and get the job done. I know what I need to do and meet my targets. I get very little direction from her and certainly no praise or encouragement. So imagine my surprise at my annual review when she brought me in and tore strips of me. Not a word throughout the year but saved all her issues up and out of the blue give me a complete rollocking over tiny jobs that hadn't been done. She was completely unprofessional yelling at me and saying unprofessional things. I was so shocked I just sat there and took it. I came home and was in floods of tears. I was badly bullied as a teenager and thought I'm an adult now. I shouldn't have to put up with bullying behaviour especially in the workplace. I literally cried all night and couldn't go back to work the next day so I went to the Doctors and got signed off work. So she put me off work sick for months. I ended being called in because of my sick absence and was threatened with getting a written warning. I was told that if my work situation was affecting my health which it was I could take the case further but I didn't. She is a known troublemaker and I know of at least two other people who have taken against her and they have ended up being worse off. It would be my word against hers and I know that she would take things to the very top and wouldn't let things drop. I am naturally a bit nervous and afraid of confrontation so I just backed down and said I didn't want to take things any further. Nothing ever seems to be her fault she always manages to pin the blame on to someone else and can be all sweetness around higher managers.
Anyway I returned to work. I am a good worker and just sitting moping about the house all day wasn't for me. At first she put on a nice front. I haven't told anyone else in the Office the real reasons why I went off. Again if I spoke out against her she has the power to make my life difficult although I don't see that I am giving her any reason too. I feel now that she is constantly watching everything I do. I can feel her watching me and I find it so uncomfortable. I find her silence unnerving like its what are you plotting now? I feel like I am just constantly working and even if I stop and have a short chat with co-workers it is being watched and noted. I just feel like I am stuck in a real rut. I know that I am more than capable but I feel like she has sapped any life and confidence I had out of me. I feel now that work has spilled over in to my home life and this weekend thoughts of her and work kept popping in to my head and the dread of going back to work had already set in. When on the rare occasion that she isn't there I feel like I can relax and be myself instead of treading of eggshells around her so it is her that is the problem and not the job. I wish she would move on somewhere else or if I had an opportunity to move I would jump at the chance.