Overthinking things? Don't want prospective employers to know I'm a mother (yet)

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I am currently looking for a new job. I have a job and I'm currently on mat. leave but I want to find something new to progress career-wise.

On my latest application form it asks which dates I am unavailable for interview - fine, normal. But then it asks to give a reason for each date I'm unavailable, which I've never been asked before.

There are a couple of dates on which one of my DCs has a series of medical appointments. I feel like if I put 'unavailable on X due to child medical appointment' then I'll be looked at as a mother that will regularly need time off for the DCs.

I appreciate that I am massively overthinking this and it might be completely standard practice!

In reality I don't need to go, DH is a SAHP, we also use a CM part-time, I'm covered. So I feel free to just not put anything down and see what happens. But my feelings about it have surprised me. For the first time I am actually apprehensive of prospective employers knowing I have children. Part of me thinks surely I shouldn't have to worry about these things?!

Am I just being paranoid or do other people worry too?

I would just write 'appointment' or even 'medical appointment'. Obviously, I'm not suggesting you lie, but you could easily be seeing a GP/optician/dentist for yourself. Really surprised they've asked for reason (but I've been in the same workplace for 10yrs) so would keep it vague.

I wouldn't say. None of their bloody business!

I am surprised they are asking. I'd leave it as 'Prior commitment' on all of the dates!

What business do they have knowing what you are doing when you are not even employed or invited to interview at this stage!!

What sector is this? Sounds really odd to me.

If you can send your DH do that, or just put "appointment"or "relatives medical apt."

Really it's none of their business. Where I work it's not considered I have DC. I am expected to magically arrange childcare to work I to the evening etc. DHs boss is much more understanding and he's even been sent out of over running meetings when they know he's promised DS he'll watch a match.

What I'm trying to say is it might not be bad thing.

I'd just put prior appointment.

"Prior commitment" would be as much information as I would prepared to share, TBH.

It's none of their business whatsoever - they are probably asking because when they set the interview day there is unlikely to be a day that all shortlisted candidates and all interview panel members are available, so they want to know which candidates can be asked to rearrange their commitments and which can't. So given that DH can go if you aren't available, you could either just put nothing and hope they don't pick those dates, or put "prior commitment - if absolutely necessary could arrange for someone else to stand in for me" which tells them what they need to know (you care about this job enough to inconvenience yourself for them) without giving info you don't want to.

I had considered that, if they're considering if there are some people who absolutely couldn't do a certain day - eg if you were going to a wedding it's not like that can be rescheduled!

I'm putting nothing because I have DH. It's an entry level job in a public sector department working a standard 37 hour week. I've applied to other similar public sector roles/looked at vacancies but this is the first time I've seen a request for reasons for unavailability.

I think its fair enough not to want them to know you're a mother yet. Its unlikely to be seen as an advantage, unfortunately.

My civil servant job asks why people are unavailable to make them think about the dates they are requesting. People often have a choice of dates and times (think 4 weeks of interviews 12 interview slots a day) and they put down a time they are already committed to work for us, (current staff looking for promotion/change of role) so asking them for their reasons makes them consider if they are actually free to go to an interview.

In addition if you are holiday then you obviously cannot have another slot on the same day. If you have a GP appt you may be available for a slot in the afternoon even if you can't do a morning.

I employ lots of parents and lots of non parents, some are flexible about changing arrangement (we pay extra for flexibility, some (take the flex money) but are resistant to changes, there is a pretty even split between parents and non parents in each category.

Just put "prior commitment all day" if not enough people are available for a certain day's interviewing then no interviews will be offered - meaning the interviewers won't be pulled from their day job.

Thanks pressone, I think the explanation behind it must be the same as you say. It helps to hear from someone who has experience of this side!

I think in general I surprised myself by feeling like I didn't want anyone to know I'm a mother (or married, even) before finding out in general conversation when employed, as you do. My DCs were born during my current job and I have been with my company for a while, boss was a guest at our wedding, so my family life is no secret to them. But conversely this means the last time I went for a job interview I was single and childless so it feels like a whole different game now