What to say - any advice please?

[GnomeDePlume]

I have to have an awkward conversation tomorrow as it has been reported to me that my assistant has been 'a bit whiffy'. Any suggestions on how to say this please?

I had a feeling I was going to be on my own with this one!

From the way you say it - you've had a report - that implies it's not something you've noticed yourself? So it's probably not too overpowering. Is it a new event, or have they always been that way? (They may not have been around long enough for you to know, I don't know.)

If it's a new thing, then I'd be concerned about their welfare, as it seems something will have triggered it - lack of self-care can be a sign of depression. Do you know if they've got any problems at home or anything? Any money problems which might mean they're cutting down on hot water or laundry or something to save money? Any health issues which might mean you should suggest they see a GP about it? I'm not suggesting you interrogate them about every aspect of their private life, but be aware that there could be some change in circumstances, and you need to treat it sensitively and create an atmosphere where they can talk to you if they feel they need to, rather than clamming up.

I think you just have to be straightforward and honest. Just say you've had a report and ask if everything's alright - then ask them to make sure they shower every day and use deodorant and do laundry regularly. Don't draw it out longer than necessary, don't be judgemental about it, don't be rude about it.

Thank you EBearhug, you have the situation exactly right. The person is young, this is their first job so I will follow your advice and couch it i terms that I would hope would be used with my own teenage DCs. My suspicion is that this has been a laundry crisis.

Thank you for the advice EBearhug. I did my very poor best. Mortification all round.

Well, it's never an easy situation, that one. Hopefully it will have done the trick and he will come in smelling of soap forever more, and you can all behave as if nothing ever happened.

If it doesn't happen, you'll have to bring it up again at some point, but there's no point worrying about it unless you have to.

Why the assumption that if someone has a BO problem that it is a "him" out of interest - on most posts on here the subjects are assumed to be female.