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Original poster

Is this normal for Indian workers?

27 replies

MrsRossPoldark · 26/03/2015 16:41

DH has received an email from his (male) 'bellboy' who looked after him on a 10-day business trip. It's affectionate in the extreme & full of 'I love you', 'I miss you', etc. Is this normal for an Indian hotel worker? Should we expect a request for money next?

Was it wise for DH to give him his email anyway?! Coupled with the fact that it took DH 4 days before he got round to showing me his photos from a trip he took during the intervening weekend, I am a bit concerned!

OP posts:
Jinglebells99 · 26/03/2015 17:41

Until recently, my dh was regularly travelling to India. He said hotel staff were very helpful and friendly but not to that extentShock . I would be very concerned.

Original poster
MrsRossPoldark · 26/03/2015 17:45

The guy said he went back into DHs room & cried! He did also say that he is looking forward to seeing "you & your family" again? Is he after ££ or did something go on between them?

OP posts:
Branleuse · 26/03/2015 17:47

Id be thinking they had an affair. I dont think thats a cultural thing

iklboo · 26/03/2015 17:48

The sentiments are definitely quite strange. Unless the bellboy has formed an emotional attachment to your DH. I'd be a bit worried about the delay in showing photos though.

Original poster
MrsRossPoldark · 26/03/2015 18:08

Bellboy is a student in his 20s, so should be sensible/educated enough to understand what's appropriate? Did DH just tip him too much?!

OP posts:
InfinitySeven · 26/03/2015 18:10

I'm a generous tipper (so are my company, which helps!) but I've never seen anything like that.

I'd be pretty worried about that.

InfinitySeven · 26/03/2015 18:11

Presumably DH wasn't with you...was he with female colleagues?

The "you & your family" comment seems odd.

Bramshott · 26/03/2015 18:16

I would expect (from past experience) that his next email may be asking you to 'sponsor' him for a work or study visa in the UK...

Original poster
MrsRossPoldark · 26/03/2015 19:47

Bramshott: that's the best scenario! We laughed about it when DH showed me but the more I think about it the odder it seems esp since he took so long to show me his photos.

OP posts:
Mum2Pea · 26/03/2015 19:49

would definitely think it will be followed with a sponsorship request

Original poster
MrsRossPoldark · 26/03/2015 19:54

Why give your business email to the bellboy anyway? Certain if it was me behaving like DH, I'd be getting a boll£&ing by now!

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 26/03/2015 21:01

DH owns a company in India and goes every 3 months or so.
He's NEVER had anything like this and his employees are more formal than people over here - he has had to persuade them not to call him sir and stand up when he enters the room. Generally he finds people and especially hotel staff etc very reserved and I mentioned this thread and he was pretty surprised.
It's very odd and he should find a different hotel if he goes again.

Original poster
MrsRossPoldark · 26/03/2015 21:04

So - is it ££ or did something else happen?! How do I approach with DH? He has shown me this email so it couldn't be other than ££ surely? He has been very silly giving the guy his business email but hope that's all it is. I just hope that when the next email asking for money comes in, DH lets me see that too, otherwise I shall be getting very worried.

Re the delay showing me his pix - I have already told him I was annoyed that he couldn't show me the photos earlier.

His excuses were as follows [this is now turning a bit into a 'relationship' thread!]:

  1. you weren't there with me so it didn't seem right to show you [my response: I won't be going to India on a freebie any time soon, so this is the only way I will get to see these temples]
  2. the pictures are really bad quality and won't convey the right impression of the temples [my response: I'm your wife and an adult, so why not let me be the judge of that]
  3. my phone is out of charge [my response: it wasn't out of charge yesterday]
  4. I need to go to the toilet [then spending half an hour on the sofa right next to me, doing sudoku's before he actually went upstairs to the loo where he spent a further 20 minutes before coming down with the photos now loaded on to his pc] = my response: have you been deleting the incriminating photos from your phone and only transferring the 'legitimate' ones to your PC, so I don't get to see something I shouldn't? To which he tells me I'm being paranoid. Well, yes, by now I am getting there!
OP posts:
TranmereRover · 26/03/2015 21:10

had something similar from a young female (Indian) front of house hotel worker in one of the big Oman hotels. She'd been amazing with our kids all holiday- friendly, sweet, told us how much she missed her family - she only went back to india once a year. She bought our kids a kit kat from the hotel shop (must've been ludicrously expensive in relation to wages).
a week after we got home, she PHONED DH and left a voicemail. Must have got his number from the hotel's records which is bang out of order, but no way were we going to make a complaint and get her fired. Haven't heard from her again, but it was highly inappropriate

VivaLeBeaver · 26/03/2015 21:11

You do sound a bit paranoid about the phone and photos to be honest.

So apart from dragging his feet about showing you photos and the email from a bunny boiler bellboy has he ever given you a reason to not trust him? If he'd been shagging the bellboy he'd hardly have showed you the email would he?

Original poster
MrsRossPoldark · 26/03/2015 21:17

VLB: yup, maybe paranoid. He's just been a massive pita by not showing me the photos really. And, yes he wouldn't have shown me the email if there was genuinely something to fret about.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 27/03/2015 09:49

He's being very weird about the photos - that and the bellboy thing might be unrelated though

hesterton · 27/03/2015 09:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Joyfulldeathsquad · 27/03/2015 09:56

My friend had a male hotel worker in Thai land write I miss and love on her facebook wall. It was in broken English and we had a bit of a giggle over it - so that on its own - no I wounfnt be worried.

But he was defo hiding somthing in the pics?

PiratePanda · 28/03/2015 14:30

I have been working in India for nearly 20 years. This is utterly bizarre. I can imagine highly respectful requests for references or business opportunities from a helpful hotel employee that one tipped well - but definitely not declarations of love that indicated intimacy.

I'm very sorry but I think your DH has had an affair with this young man. That is the only explanation.

PiratePanda · 28/03/2015 14:33

And I'd also wonder whether young man was, in fact, a young woman.

Amrapaali · 28/03/2015 14:40

Why cant it be a young man? Genuinely curious....

Hoppinggreen · 28/03/2015 16:36

How so you know the bell boy is male ? What is his/her name?
Could he actually have been a she, hence the hidden photos ( I'm assuming your DH hasn't had a homosexual encounter here)

Original poster
MrsRossPoldark · 29/03/2015 15:44

I've seen a photo of the 'bellboy' & he's defo male! I know his name too & have now overheard DH explaining it to a close MF, in a conversation yesterday when we were all having quite a giggle over the whole episode. I do think I overreacted & the poor guy is only hoping DH might lend him a few quid to help him through college. Will have to see if another email comes in next week!

OP posts:
GammaDelta · 01/04/2015 21:53

i think it's your hubby who needs to do the explaining. .

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