I'm due back at work after mat leave after Easter and am feeling very very anxious about leaving my almost 10 mo bf dd. She is my second and I didn't feel like this at all the first time round, in fact I was looking forward to it and enjoyed it.
However my dh has depression and has not worked since shortly after that time. We rely on my income (and my parents). My ds didn't take to bf and experienced far less separation anxiety than my dd. I'm worried she will be unhappy and also it's not exactly a soft re-entry to work as the commute means I'll be out of the house by 630 without seeing the kids and not back til 7pm for at least two days and probably out by 730 back 630 the other couple.
I'm scared about stopping the bf during the day, anxious about leaving her - even tho it's with her dad (!), worried about returning to a stressful job with situ with hub unresolved.
Dh trying to find work but it's incredibly difficult. I think tbh probably the fact that my return to work will not result in any improvement in living stNdards is not helping my general stress levels. In fact commuting and nursery costs for older one set to go up.
The unemployment is a total rollercoaster and it's very hard to plan childcare. Without it, dh can't find work, with it I'm very stressed about the cost.
What makes all worse is not being able to have a proper conversation with dh about it as he has depression and I think the dose of pills is making him more ostrich like than usuAl. I feel like I'm working precious yeArs of my children's lives away while he takes years now to find a job.
Looking for some reassurance if it's out there. (My dh is not a horrible person and is trying - tho taking forever, and he has depression. If one more friend/ relative infers it's his own lazy fault and he should just get any job which are easy to come by I will scream. also made harder by fact he was a professional and even being bounced back from modest paying ones)
Writing this has clarified that maybe it's this situation rather than return to work that's killing me! But would appreciate if any one has any strategies/ stories/ tips or if by any amazing coincidence, been in the same boat!